It was a chilly summers night. I went out for a walk along the seashore. I grabbed a light blanket and followed the ocean line. There was so much going on I had to find some way to escape it. I know I shouldn't be complaining, I have everything I could ever need or want; but when you have a life like mine I'm sure you'd understand.
It's not that I'm unhappy with my life or upset with my decisions. It's just, it's hard to keep a secret you've been holding for almost 4 years. No one knows. Except mine and his families. 'They' say it's better to keep it hidden, to keep all the fans blinded. I just wish I didn't have to hurt so much. It's hard to love when you're not suppose to love.
It was about 5 in the morning when I started to see the sunrise. Ive been out here for 2 hours. It's hard to sleep when you've got so much bobbling in your head. I haven't been able to sleep very well. I wish it was easy, easy to hide everything.
At first I thought everything would be okay. We could hide this little fib and go along with our lives. But it's been eating me up. Why did I agree to this? I often think to myself. But then I reassure myself that I did this for us. So we could be happy and be in love. Never did I think it would be this hard. I just want it to come out. Let everything pan out like its suppose to. You're not suppose to hide from your problems. Right? That's what I've always been taught.
We haven't been on a date since 2011. We're not aloud to be seen together. Every time I see a tabloid about these 'hookups' he has, it just about makes me breakdown. He's not this player, cold hearted, bad person the magazines make him out to be. And to think that their management purposely does this, to cover everything makes me sick.
What's the point of making music and living your life if you're not aloud to show 89% of what really happens.
I'd like to just one day blurt it all out. Tell everyone the truth. But I know it I do that it will ruin everything for him. His career, his fans, everything. So I keep it a secret. Although it's tearing me apart...
No one knows I'm secretly dating Harry Styles.
Hey guys! New story here. I hope you guys like it. I have so much planed for this story. I'll try my best to update ever week. Please let me know what you guys think so far. I know this chapter is really short. This is just a little preview of what this story is about. :) I hope you all enjoy.