A Blog, By Yours Truly, The Queen!

For the Project Remix story competition, inspired by Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of The West by Gregory Maguire.

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1. A Blog, By Yours Truly, The Queen!

@iamyourqueen wrote:

(4th December 2013)

Greetings Fair Minions!!!!!!

I, who is dictating this Magnificasis Manual on How to Be Totes Tremendalis Like Your Magnifcasuos Queen, shake you warmly by the hand! For you have just opened the best and most important blog EVER!

But first, introductions! I do love introductions.

Now, comment your name here.

Just in this space.

Right here.

(Space below)

Just here.

 

 

 

 

I am The Queen.

Not just any Queen.

I am Queen Malvina Rosina Watermelon.

But you can call me Queen Watermelon.

But  first, A LIST! Yes, fair minions. A LIST!!!!

 

To Do List Of Evil Things.

Turn their hair pink

Give them a tail

 Uh....

Put salt in their drink?

 

Hang on minions... I have to go.... Mmm.... I smell dinner..... Byeeeee!

@iamyourqueen logged off.

 

 

@iamyourqueen wrote:

(10th January 2014)

Minions!!!!! Yooo-Hoooo! Over here!

 

I`m Back!

 

EXCITING NEWS! 

 

I am allowed to give you a sneak peek chapter from my new book, How To Dress Just Like Your Queen And Pull Off Yellow And Discover Your Fashion Sense And Other Fantabulous Tips And Your Questions Answered Like Can You Wear Flip-Flops In Winter And  In Short How To Be Just Like Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (My publisher, Captain Woof, would not let me have the full name in my book, but you can ask Google the Great, or search up https://www.TheQueensOfficialWebsiteIncludingAmazingFashionTipsAndLinksToMyAmazeballsBlogAndMyPerfectionYouTubeChannelWithLoadsOfCoolTipsOnYellowAndGreenEyeshadowAndAmazingDoubleDenimLooksAndCelebFashionFailsAndLoooooooaaaaaaadsMoreOnMyOtherWebsiteWhichThereAreAlsoLinksToAndMinionsArentYouGladYouAreJustLikeMe.AlmostForgotMyTwitter@QueenWaterMelonRox.org.uk/BuyMyBookNow.com.uk.meeeeeeee.:)Smileeeeeeeeeeyy)

Just comment on my list of chapters (available to all my WickD followers on my blog How It Feels To Be Queen Watermelon, via my account named @MelonQueenie on www.WickDblogs.co.uk) and I will post that chapter!

 

@iamyourqueen logged off.

 

@trollinislife commented on @iamyourqueen`s post:

(15h January 2014)

I dunno what does it feel like to be a melon head. #daqueenidiotisamelonhead #trollinislife #followmabackupacct @trollinislifesbruddaJKSbruhitsdasamepersondummmeeees

 

@iamyourqueen replied to @trollinislife`s comment on

(28th February 2014)

@iamyourqueen`s post:

HEY! Bad minion. Thou shalt be severely punished. Die Minion! Die! #almost15followers #comeonguyzzzwecandoit #omjh #zOnEndOfWord #immabadass

 

@trollinislife replied to @iamyourqueen`s reply to @trollinislife`s

(3rd March 2014)

comment on @iamyourqueen`s post:

What r u on m8 ha ha ha

 

@iamyourqueen replied to @trollinislife`s reply to @iamyourqueen`s reply to @trollinislife`s reply to.... Oh forget it.

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(13th March 2014)

FYI minions OMJH means Oh My Josh Hutcherson in case you didn`t know.

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(25th March 2014)

So hey minions! In your comment (Thanks to @iamyourqueenisbae) you requested How To Wear Yellow, so I will be uploading it soon.

 

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(14th April 2014)

Hey! I promised I`d post it, so here it is.

CHAPTER 1984 OF 20000- HOW TO WEAR YELLOW

First of all in this chapter, A LIST!!!!

Colours That Go With Yellow

Purple

Black

Blue

Pink

 

Now, ANOTHER LIST!!!!!!!

Items Of Clothing That Look Good In Yellow

Silk blazer

Tweed skirts

Trainers

Belts

 

YET ANOTHER LIST!!!!!

Online Stores That Sell Said Items Of Yellow Clothing

www.wearetheyellowrulers.com

www.YellowRulez.org.uk/wedeliver

www.WickDclOthes/wedoeverything.com

www.rollinwiththeyellowhomies.com

www.MelonQueenOfficialFashionAmazingYellowCoolWebstore/WatermelonsAreLifeHashtagENDOF.com

 

ANOTHER LIST!

The Queen`s Tips On How To Wear Yellow

Wear it with a colour from list 1! Wear an item of clothing from list 2!  Buy said item from one of the sites from list 3!

 

AND NOW....................................................

THE QUEEN`S TOP 3 ITEMS TO GO WITH YOUR FAB NEW YELLOW OUTFIT!

#TeamWaterMelon t-shirt bought exclusively from my sites! (Link in 2nd last post/ this post- Available in all colours and sizes for only £999.99! Use code-1mawannab3Qu33n#0y3a to get one free when you buy 5! Perfect for Christmas! Get one now before offer expires on 25/12/78! Betty Bat hairclip from www.thegothicaccessories.com Blue lipstick from www.She`sCrazyCosmetics/online.org

 

TOP SECRET TIP!!! EXCLUSIVE TO READERS!!!

Wear neon banana accessories! Get them from their online store www.NeonBanana/Official.Accessories and enter the code WAT3RM3L0NB00K for your FREE  exclusive Dream Catcher Earrings from their Bananarama Range! Ooh, how exciting!

 

Soooooooo.....

What do you think? Amazing right? Next post I will begin my www.TotlyWickD.com AUTOBIOGRAPHY! Excited, Minions? Good! TTFN.

 

@iamyourqueen logged off.

 

@thatfashionblogger commented on @iamyourqueen`s post;

(11th April 2014)

I do not think that www.NeonBanana/Official.Accessories is a real website... I followed this link and it threw it back at me…. Where`s my FREE bananarama inspired dream catcher earrings?!?! #angry

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(27th April 2014)

Birthday shoutout to the amazing @CaptainWoof, my nan`s dog! Happy 11th birthday, my main minion!

 

@YOLOboi posted on @iamyourqueen`s blog:

(1st May 2014)

Who da *censored word* r u? u aint a queen bruh.

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(2nd May 2014)

My story begins in a classroom.

Where the girl sat in front of me was very irritating. This was before I knew I was special, you see. One day, I clicked my fingers. And just like that, she grew a tail. A big purple one.

And just like that, I got sent home.

 

My parents were amazed by my brilliance. They sent me to see a specialist doctor, who sent me to The Academy of Witches. Funnily enough, they decided I was a witch. I of course, was amazingly popular and was all the teacher`s favourite. But I had one special friend, Julian Grey. And there was this girl, Camilla Le Fleur. She was jealous of me, and decided to take my one special friend. So I turned her hair pink. And so the teachers put me in detention. And I don’t know why, it was a nice shade of pink. But she got him anyway. He spent less time with me, and more time with her. And then, he just left me.

 

Now she is head of the Paris, London, Zimbabwe and Beijing covens. And the Cairo, Nuremberg plus Luxembourg academies. But, if he hadn`t abandoned me, I would not be here now. I would not have started this blog. And I would most certainly not be your  Queen.

 

So maybe it was for the best. Well, I`ll get him back anyway.

 

@iamyourqueen logged off.

 

@halogirl, and 7 others posted on @iamyour queen`s blog.

(8th May 2014)

 

Ur crazy.

 

Ur a loser.

 

Who ru? Ru the queen of lsrvil? 

 

M8, ru crazy or summing?

 

Who da hell ru?

 

Lady u need 2 go see a doctor. Ur mental. And not a queen. So y do u think u r.

 

U shuld kill urself, ur so weird and we all h8 ur dum blog. Ur a liar.

 

Do us all a favour, and kill urself.

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(30th August

Omjh.

It was on the telly.

Camilla and Julian got married.

I don`t know what to do.

He`s mine!!! How could she take him from me???? I feel like screaming and crying at the same time. HE WAS MINE! HE WAS ALL I HAD! Couldn`t he see through that evil woman`s pretty face? She is a monster!!! She should DIE!!!!

 

@Camilla_Grey and 2 others posted on @iamyourqueens`s blog.

(19th October 2014)

 

OMG! How dare u insult @Camilla_Grey????she is amazing and Camillian is the best couple evr and if u don’t like it then just kill urself. Please do.

 

Shut up @iamyourqueen ur just crazy and just kill urself you crazy person

 

@iamyourqueen how dare you? I did not steal Julian, you are crazy. He hated you. You are mental. Just close down your account, and I will not press charges for the death threats.

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(5th November 2014)

@Camilla_Grey DIE IN HELL!!! YOU THEIVING MONSTER!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!

 

@Julian_Grey posted on @iamyourqueen`s blog.

(25th November 2014)

@iamyourqueen Camilla is right. She did not steal me, you are crazy. Maybe these comments are right.

 

 

@iamyourqueen posted:

(18th December 2014)

Ok Ok. I admit it. I am not a queen. I am not popular.

And here`s my real story.

In my primary I was bullied, and that day I was so angry and upset. I was so scared when her tail grew. My parents screamed at me and hit me, and sent me to a mental asylum. That was so scary, that place, they did tests on me and injected me with poisons, and took blood samples and shocked me until I passed out. And I made a big hole in the wall and ran away. I wandered the streets for months until I was found and taken to The Academy Of  Witches. I didn`t fit in with everyone else. The teachers picked on me. The other pupils teased me, and made me cry. Camilla was kind to me, and I threw it back in her face. Julian took pity on me, and talked to me once or twice and helped me with my homework. But I told him my secret plots, and he grew afraid of me, just as my parents had. I had no one, and he fell in love with Camilla.

 

I`m not surprised.

 

When we graduated, I had no qualifications so was never going to get a job. I was homeless again for months, and stole and lied to get enough money for a flat, enough food and a laptop. That was when I started this blog.  I created a new character for myself, and didn`t notice all these death threats. But when I heard that Camilla and Julian were getting married, it all fell down on top of me.

 

And now I can`t cope.

 

My world has fallen apart. Now I have not got anything left. I truly believed the story I told, the character I pretended to be.

 

At least I wanted to.

 

And now I have nothing.

No one.

Just me, and my damaged brain.

And my broken world.

I don`t even know why I am even still writing on this dumb blog.

It`s what caused me all of this.

Goodbye world. I will not be logging back on.

I am going to the Witches` Association. I need mental help. Maybe I can start anew.

 

@iamyourqueen logged off.

 

© Lauren Morgan 18th December 2014

 

 

 

 

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