15. This Isn't Happening
I blink a few times and then relief and disappointment wash over me. It's just Spencer.
"I thought you were Trace." I manage to choke out. I wipe my eyes away.
"No it's just me. It should have been me." He says quietly. More tears stream down our faces. I grip his hand tightly. A normal person might wince at the force of it, but since he is holding mine in the same, I guess it evens out. When the service is over, there are only a few dry eyes, and they leave right after it is done. Trace was a very liked person.
We stay at the church and a boy with curly hair walks over to us. I can see he has dimples, and green eyes.
"Hey Cal. Cam." He nods to me. Calum looks at me and sees the panic in my eyes. I shake my head. This boy is watching me and his eyes fill with panic too.
"Hey Ashton." Calum says with some emphasis to tell me. Ashton.
"You don't - You don't remember - remember me?" Ashton breathes out. The accident was a week ago. I barely remember what the school looks like.
"I'm sorry. I need to go." I start to walk off but I start crying and I just go into a jog. I find an old park and sit on the swings. I start to scream and cry and wail like a two year old. This isn't fair. Trace is dead. He is dead. Gone forever only to leave us in a world of pain. And I don't remember Ashton. I didn't even have a feeling of recognition.
This isn't happening.