11. first realization
I drove back to our apartemet , my eyes welded up with tears. I stumbled into our, home and opened the door to see Dylan with his face in his hands. I gently sat down beside him as he lifted his head. "Ellie...ellie, I am so,so, sorry.." I shook my head. "Her though? ANYBODY but her and I might have been able to look past this." He started to cry, but I wouldn't let myself do the same. "Why?" I asked "tell me why" now I was angry, more hurt, but angry. "Because she could give me something u wouldn't" he sounded ashamed. I was so upset I could collapse right there. "You know why I wasn't ready?" I haven't even told him this yet. "Because at 15 I was raped. Instead of loosing it in love I lost it in fear. So sorry if I wasn't ready!" I couldn't help but cry. I hated myself for it. I Had already cried so much. He shook his head. "I am so so sorry, Ellie please! I will never ever do this to you again." I looked him in the eyes. His used to be gorgeous green eyes was now a dull muck. "Actions speak louder than words" as I turned to leave he grabbed my arm. He pinned me against the wall kissing me. I pulled away. Something was missing, our love and passion was gone. "U broke us" I pulled away from his grip. As I was about out the door he yelled at me. "Huh? What about Tyler? I was jelous for years!" I was stunned. "How could u even say that? I lost the best friend I ever had became I was in love with u, but this right now, is not love."
I ran out and as I reached the lot I noticed Dylan had followed me.
"I can't believe how mad u are about this! I thought I loved u but I realize now that I don't. Cause you are nothing compared to jaidan. She's pretty and skinny and don't mind showing affection." A last tear fell Down my cheek that right there was my breaking point. Just as I was about to run, Tyler leaped out of a nearby bush and punched Dylan square in the face. Tyler had followed me, to make sure I was OK. And as things got heated I jumped in the middle of the 2 because Tyler was getting beaten up bad. But I was accidently hit by a flying fist and fell to the ground. All I could hear was dylan and Tyler screaming for Me to wake up