March 1, 11:25 a.m.
This is Lucy calling to update my order BKE-184. Looks like I won't need the leather strap after all. So, just to be clear, keep the rest of my order as is, but cancel the strap. Thanks!
March 5, 3:11 p.m.
It's Lucy again calling about my order BKE-184. Is it too late to rethink materials? In the end, recycled aluminum just sounds cheap. I'd rather go with the slate. All the reviews I've read say that slate will endure both heat and snow better. Plus, it has more effective results for tree attachment. Thanks for working with me. Can you please call me so I know you got this order change? My number is 802-555-0129.
March 6, 4:10 p.m.
It's Lucy. I called yesterday about order BKE-184. Nobody has gotten back to me. Please let me know that my order has been updated. Natural slate plaque. No leather strap.
March 8, 10:04 a.m.
It's Lucy calling about order BKE-184. I'd like confirmation that you received my requests for an order change. I'm worried because you still haven't called me back. I'm not high maintenance, if that's what you're thinking. I'm not going to modify anything beyond this point. I understand that you have strict shipping dates. If you're upset about my leather strap cancellation, just go ahead and ignore it. I'm willing to eat the cost on that. I really want to know when you plan to ship my order. I'd also like to remind you that I've already paid in full. So I deserve a return phone call. I mean, I don't like threatening people. But I also don't like being jerked around. My number is 802-555-0129. You better call it.
March 15, 11:38 a.m.
Lucy: This is the last message I'm going to leave before I call the Better Business Bureau-
Justin: I'm speaking. You're not leaving a message.
Lucy: When are you going to ship my order?
Justin: I'm not.
Lucy: You have to! I paid for it.
Justin: My name is Justin and you haven't paid me anything for anything.
Lucy: Not cool, Justin. I paid somebody in your company.
Justin: I don't own a company. You're about the thirtieth person who's-
Lucy: Do I have the wrong number?
Justin: Not exactly...
Lucy: This sounds like a total scumbag operation.
Justin: No. There is no operation. My name is Justin Bieber. I'm a senior at Burlington High School. I'm not connected to this plaque/trophy/crystal awards business in any way. It's my cell phone. I just got it. I took a recycled number. I guess I got a deadbeat trophy company. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think they've gone out of business.
Lucy: That sucks. I mean, I can't believe this is happening.
Justin: Um.. It's not exactly the end of the world.
Lucy: Easy for you to say. What are my options here? What am I supposed to do about my order?
Justin: I guess you order another slate plaque without a leather strap from a different company?
Lucy: You know, you could pretend to have some sympathy. I've been robbed.
Justin: You're right. I'm sorry. You sound nice. I feel bad you got taken. The guy who ran that business sounds terrible. He even ripped off people who'd ordered gravestones for their pets.
Justin: I hope somebody catches up with him and makes him pay all these people back.
Lucy: Yeah. Okay. Thanks. I'll let you go.
Justin: Lucy, I bet with enough effort you can find this guy. It's really hard for people to just totally disappear.
Lucy: Um. Yeah, I'm pretty busy, and I have zero interest in playing detective, Justin. I think I'm just going to accept that I got screwed.
Justin: Your call.
Lucy: Yeah. It is. Okay, good luck with midterms.
Justin: How do you know I've got midterms?
Lucy: You said you go to Burlington High.
Justin: Interesting. And do you go to Burlington High?
Lucy: No, I live in Montpelier. I have a friend who goes to Burlington High.
Lucy: I'm not going to tell you my friend's name. You're a stranger.
Justin: Is it your boyfriend?
Lucy: I'm going to hang up on you, Justin.
Justin: Don't hang up.
Lucy: Stop being obnoxious.
Justin: No promises there. It's how I'm built.
Lucy: Are you going to call back all the people who are leaving you messages about this company?
Justin: I don't have that kind of time.
Lucy: You don't feel obligated?
Justin: Why would I feel obligated?
Lucy: Well, they're calling you.
Justin: I've got midterms to study for, remember?
Lucy: Okay. I'll let you go, Justin.
Justin: You're fun to talk to. You can call me anytime.
Lucy: Thanks. But I'm probably not going to do that. Bye.
March 17, 4:18 p.m.
Justin: Hey, Lucy, it's Justin. You called me last week about your plaque and leather strap. I told my friend Jairo about your situation. He says he knows how to get that stuff wholesale. Shoot us the dimensions you want, and he thinks he can get you what you need. Let me know if this works for you.
March 19, 5:52 p.m.
Justin: Hey, Lucy, Jairo can't fill your order. He got hit in the head with a tree limb today. Don't worry. He'll be okay. We tried to start a company using the disgruntled client base of the deadbeat trophy company. Not the people with outstanding orders. Those people are out of luck. But we figured we'd take the new callers. And this woman needed us to measure her mailbox, because she wanted a new address plaque. And it was near a tree. And Jairo underestimated his strength. And he shoved her quaking aspen. And a limb fell and totally nailed him.
Looks like we won't be taking that job. Anyway, I've been doing some sleuthing, and I think I have the home phone number of the now-defunct trophy company. I've been giving it out to people who call me with outstanding orders. It makes me feel like a cross between a private investigator and Robin Hood. Also, I feel a little bit like a bounty hunter. But don't worry-I don't own any weapons. Except for baseball bats, hockey sticks, stuff like that. And I only use those to play sports. Hey, this is a long message. And it's starting to sound weird. Sorry.
March 20, 3:30 p.m.
Lucy: Hi, Justin, that's too bad about your friend's head. From what I hear, quaking aspens can be very brittle and unpredictable. Mature ones can crush a bystander to death. It happens all the time. Well, maybe not all the time. Yes, give me the deadbeat plaque maker's home phone number. Also, it surprises me a great deal that you (a. consider a hockey stick to be a lethal weapon, and (b. feel a little bit like a bounty hunter. Have you ever seen a bounty hunter? I have, on TV. They're usually overly tattooed and pretty rough looking. Plus, they have mullets and violent tendencies. Is there something you should tell me?
*whispers* i once wrote this when i was bored and decided to post it since it's finished. *hides behind nearest by object*
no but seriously im so sorry for dying
please leave some feedback if you like it lol its so amateur tho