CHAPTER FIFTY TWO
Yes or No
I toss and turn. No, it wasn't something new. Sleep hasn't come easily for a few nights now, and I didn't really expect today to be any different.
There was moonlight coming in through the slightly opened blinds, and it instantly brought me back to that night with Niall. How the moonlight shown in his eyes, how it danced across the sheets. I missed him more than anything at this moment. I know that reuniting with him will bring me sleep, peace, tranquility.
I just need him here...
"Ems, are you still awake?" Janice whispers from her petite twin bed aside mine.
"Yeah." I whisper, obviously startled out of thought.
"You can't sleep either?" She turns to look at me, furrowing her brow at my sudden jump and widened eyes,"What, were you lost in thought?"
"Is that why you can't sleep?"
"Yeah, but I'm used to it."
"You haven't been sleeping well?"
"Is it really that surprising?"
"Well, no. It's not."
"Why aren't you asleep?" I say turning to face her.
She props herself up on an elbow, and faces me as well, "I don't know. Something about this has me all stirred up."
"What do you mean?"
"You're living a bloody romance novel, and all I am is your sidekick. I want some love too." She sighs.
I climb out of my bed, pushing sheets aside, and take two steps towards Janice's bed. She smiles as I get into the small bed with her, wrapping her in my arms.
"I love you, isn't that enough?" I say laughingly.
"What about later?"
"Later...later I want a love like yours. So utterly destructive, but so incredibly indestructible."
"Fireproof." I mutter.
"Isn't that a song?"
She stays quiet for a second, before saying in the most accusatory tone, "Isn't that a song your dad co-wrote?"
She laughs loudly, "Isn't that what Niall says to you? That you guys are fireproof?"
I don't respond.
"Oh, that's bloody twisted. Especially the fact your dad penned the song."
"He didn't pen the entire song. Only a verse or two. Uncle Liam and Lou wrote it, really."
"Can we change the topic?"
"Oh, yes!" She exclaims, "You never told me what it was like..."
"What? What was what like?"
"No I—" Then I realize what she's talking about. "Janice!"
"What!? I'm curious!" She untangles herself from my embrace and looks at me, "Who else are you going to talk to about this? I'm your only choice, Ems."
I sigh, conceding, "Yes, you know you are."
"What was it like?"
"I told you didn't I?"
"You most certainly did not. You told me what happened afterwards, not during or before."
"Must I really?"
"How about I ask questions and you say yes or no?"
We both lay on our backs and stare at the ceiling.
"Did you plan it?"
"Did he initiate it?"
"That's not a question."
"Right, okay. Did he hesitate?"
"Because he didn't want to hurt you?"
"Was there foreplay?"
"Yes. But not much."
"Straight to the point! Oh god." Janice mutters. "Alright, okay. Hmmm."
"This is incredibly uncomfortable." I mumble.
"How was his bod? Was it heavenly?" Janice asks, clearly ignoring me.
"Yes, god yes."
"Oh, what enthusiasm." She says laughingly. "Did he take care of you first before finishing?"
"I can practically hear how flushed you are. It was bloody amazing wasn't it?"
"Was he huge?"
"God damn it Janice. Enough." I say grabbing one of her pillows and covering my face with it.
"Do you love him more than anything in the world?" She asks in a very serious, solemn tone.
"Good. Does he love you the same."
"I hope so."
"No, we agreed on yes or no answers."
She turns to look at me, propping herself up on her elbow, "Yeah, I think he does too."
"We should go to sleep." I say after a few moments of silence.
"Yeah, we do need to get up early."
I get up to leave, but am held down by Janice's small hand wrapped around my forearm, "Can't you stay? Make it like when were kids and had sleepovers?"
I smile, laying back down next to her.
"Goodnight, Ems. Please sleep."
"I will Jan, goodnight."
Just one more sleep, one more I'll be reunited with him.