The Self-Righteous Hopeless Romantic
Janice stares at me with wide expectant eyes as I sit comfortably upon my bed. Her hair was in a pony tail today, a nice change of pace. She continued fidgeting around nervously, dying to know what had happened the other night.
"What, Janice?" I tease, knowing full well why she was so anxious.
"What happened? You leave me hanging for two days Emma!? What the bloody hell!?!?"
"Lower your voice." I say clasping a hand over her mouth. I had shut the door, and made sure no one was on this floor, but knowing dad he'd be hovering close around.
"Ems, what happened?"
"Nothing happened." I say. Honestly nothing really had happened, the most exciting thing that had happened she had already witnessed.
"But you kissed him? And, and why was he here? Isn't he supposed to be in Ireland....ISN'T HE MARRIED!?"
I grab a pillow and cover her head, she laughs loudly thinking that I'm playing around, but I am not in the right mind and have the very pressing urge to let her suffocate slowly.
"Ems!" She says in a muffled voice through the pillow. I release my hold and sit back upon the bed, fluffing my pillow.
Maybe, just not today.
"What is it Janice?" I stretch my long legs on the bed, and she lies down facing me.
"That's what I'm asking you, Ems."
I sigh loudly, not really sure what to say.
"You still love him, don't you?"
"It doesn't matter." I mutter.
"It does." She says with a slight smile. "So, what happened?"
Janice's face maintains the same infuriatingly calm expression as I tell her the occurrences of the last two days. Only when I reach the end of my tale does she sit up and finally speak.
"You know what I think?"
She pauses before speaking, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "You should tell him you love him."
"Are you bloody mad?"
"No, I'm a hopeless romantic remember?"
"Same fucking thing." I say pouting and leaning against the headboard.
"Ems." She says in a knowing voice, "You're not a kid anymore. If he really thinks that he can come back and expect everything to be exactly the same as it was then he's more of an idiot than I had thought."
"Hmm." I grumble.
"I'm serious. Emma, you can't be the same person that you were when you were eleven. He can't be the same person he was when he was twenty-five. That's insane. People change."
"Then why can't you tell him?"
"Are you kidding me? Janice, he's sixteen years older than me. He's my dad's best mate. He was my bloody uncle for how many years? It's just wrong, utterly twisted."
"So what, there are lots of people that have relationships like that."
"I don't care about other people."
"Then what is it exactly that you care about, Ems."
I sigh to myself and look around before answering, obviously stalling, "I only care about him being happy." I utter so quietly, I wondered if Janice had heard me.
"Then you really do love him." I nod and she shakes her head, "You have to tell him Emma. It's been eight years, I don't understand how he doesn't know by now."
"But what if he did, the only thing that would change would be that he would be freaked out to be around me."
Janice nods, pauses, and says with a smile,"Let me ask you one thing."
"Don't you find it incredibly weird that out of all the strangers at the bar that night you ended up kissing him?"
"I was pissed off my arse, I didn't even know what I was doing."
"That's not my point, Emma. My point is that of all the people in the bar, of all the people in the world, really. The only person you've ever really been attracted to is Niall."
I stay quiet and she takes it as a cue to continue, "It's fate Emma. And if you don't do something about it, then life will pass you by and all you'll have left is regrets."
Fuck, I hate when Janice is right.
"Will you at least think about it?" Janice says reaching for my hand, something she always did when she knew I was upset.
"If I think about it, I won't do it."
"So, you're going to do it...?"
"I didn't say that either." I say with a smirk.
"Damn it Emma, just tell him."
I sigh loudly, "Janice you make it sound like this is the easiest problem to fix in the entirety of the whole bloody world."
She looks at me blankly, "Well isn't it?"
"Emma, you just have to utter three words and wait for his reaction. That doesn't sound hard to me."
I hate it when Janice is right.
"Janice, when you fall in love I promise to say the same infuriatingly rational thing."
She shrugs and smiles, "Do it."
"I promise you I will."
"Okay." She starts getting up from the bed and I follow her.
"You'll see how useless that advice is."
"I'm sure I will." She says opening the door to my room, not even bothering to look back.
"Janice," I say going down the stairs behind her, "Just wait til you fall in love, you'll see nothing make sense! Even your level-headed pretty little head is going to go bloody mad."
"Alright, Emma." Janice says jumping off the last step and obviously stifling a laugh.
I groan loudly as Janice waves to dad, "Bye, Mr. Styles. Thanks for everything."
He embraces Janice in a hug and looks at me with a furrowed brow, "What happened?" He mouthed. I rolled my eyes in response.
"Ollie, Janice is leaving." I call up the stairs.
Ollie runs down the stairs and as soon as dad lets go of Janice, he clings onto her, "Bye Janice."
"Bye, cutie." Janice says fluffing his hair. He blushed furiously.
"Alright, enough already." I say pulling him away from her, "She's leaving."
"Come back soon." Dad says to Janice. She nods shyly, still a bit awkward around dad.
"I'm serious Janice." I say as I lead her to the door. "The day you fall in love and ask me for advice, then I'll make sure to repeat the same words you so helpfully gave me."
"Emma." She says playfully placing a hand upon my shoulder, "When I fall in love, I won't need your advice. I already know enough to follow my own."
I laugh out loud, how could such a self-righteous hopeless romantic be my best friend? "Leave already." I say pushing her out the door.
"Love you Ems!" She says waving good bye.
"Yeah, yeah. Me too." I say finally closing the door.