Relatively Innocent Thoughts
Aside from the issue of dad possibly finding out about everything that had happened thus far, I was having reoccurring panic attacks at the simple thought of Niall's touch.
There were sleepless nights where all I thought of were his fingers upon my skin, or my hands tangled in his silky hair. It was bloody marvelous thinking that he was mine. But these were all relatively innocent thoughts.
But then, what would I do when faced with a man? Surely Niall had...ahem...done it before. And here I was, my second kiss in twenty years. Was I even ready for this?
From the sound of it, Niall was. His constant teasing and touches, they begged for more. But how could I even think of doing anything more when his simple touch sent me into cardiac arrest?
I jump up from my bed, thoughts scrambled, and smile in relief at mum's face peeking in the doorway.
"Oh, just checking in." She says coming to sit upon my bed. I lay my head in her lap and immediately she starts running her delicate fingers through my blonde waves.
"Heard something interesting that your dad said yesterday."
"Said he overheard you and Uncle Louis the other day."
I jump up, "No."
"Ems, it's okay."
"No, it's really not."
"Your dad was just a tad bit concerned."
"And why would that be?"
"Well, love, you're not eleven anymore. This crush...it's not as innocent as before."
I blush furiously, "Mum."
She rolls her eyes, "Grow up, Emma. I'm trying to speak to you woman to woman."
"Oh, please, don't." I plead.
"Emma." she says ignoring me completely, "It's okay. I understand that maybe you still fancy your Uncle Niall, but you're at an age where...things could get rather...messy."
"I'm not saying that your Uncle Niall would reciprocate your feelings," Oh boy, was she in for a surprise then, "But if he were to find out about this...it may cause some...tension?" She says struggling to find the right word.
"Why don't you find a nice boy your age? What was that lad's name? Lucas?"
"He's a wanker." I say rubbing my temples.
"Well, never mind him. Just...don't...don't think that what I'm saying is that you shouldn't like your Uncle Niall."
"It's just that...I don't want you to get your heart broken, Emma. You know?"
I smile wearily, "I know."
She fluffs my hair, "Maybe it's my fault. I did always encourage you."
I chuckle, "Good point." I'd remember that for when shit hit the fan.
"Well, either way, let's just tell your dad that you were messing around. Don't need him to get all worked up about nothing."
"I couldn't agree more."
It was a rainy, gray, and quite frankly depressing day once more in the small town of Primrose Hills. Big surprise.
I call Janice so that we could meet at the small cafe dad had always taken me, simply delighted at the thought of having a large hot chocolate with a mountain of whipped cream.
As I wait outside the shop, umbrella in hand, Janice arrives in wellies and a rain jacket.
"You're so bloody weird, it's the middle of summer and you want a hot chocolate?"
I smirk, "Hey, it's pretty chilly out."
"It's London, Ems."
I roll my eyes, "Get in the shop."
I open the door, allowing her to go in first and pick a booth. Once we're finally settled and have ordered, Janice looks at me with a large smile, "So..."
"What's happened with you and Niall?"
I try to hide my smile, but can't help it.
"A lot then?" She says excitedly.
"Too much. Much too much for me to handle."
"Oh, how much is too much?" She says worriedly.
I furrow my brow, "What? Oh...OH, no none of that." I say shaking my head, "Just a cuddle or two nothing serious."
"Well...he is almost forty Ems. I don't think you can keep him satisfied with a cuddle for long."
"What do you know about anything like this?"
"About as much as you." She says pointedly.
"Touche." I respond, tapping my fingers upon the polished wooden table.
"Maybe you should talk to him about it..."
"I have the feeling that would be rather awkward."
"Well would you rather he think you're a prude?"
"I kind of am." I say giggling.
"Well, I doubt you will be for long." She says with a longing look upon her face, "I wouldn't be."
"Gross! Stop it!" I say smacking her arm across the table.
The waitress comes with our order, my hot chocolate calling out to me.
As the mug is set before me, I go to reach for it longingly...until my phone buzzes loudly upon the top of the table.
I sigh loudly, picking up my phone. But when I look at the screen, I feel butterflies form at the pit of my stomach.
Niall: Tonight? Dinner at my place?
"Why are you nodding?" Janice says taking a sip of her juice.
I look at her, "Am I nodding?"
"Yeah..." She says with a furrowed brow. I show her the message and she laughs loudly, "Yeah, I'd be nodding too."
"I'm guessing this would be the night to bring this conversation up?"
"This would be the night."
Oh dear, what a night this would be.
I shift nervously in the seat of Niall's car. The leather stuck to my legs, my palms sweating wildly. Was I over thinking this too much? He hadn't made any type of insinuation that we would...do that. So why was I worrying so much?
"What's wrong, Ems?"
"Nothing." I mutter. My body felt too warm, I could feel heat exuding from my pores.
"Doesn't look like nothing." He stops at the light and turns to look at me. He places a hand upon my forehead, "You're burning up."
"It's quite warm in here." I say quietly.
He rolls down the windows, allowing the evening air to cool my face. I relished the breeze that smelled of summer and kissed my warm skin. The stars were shinning, and in the darkness of the night everything seemed so mysteriously beautiful.
"That perked you right up." He says with a smirk.
"It did." I say slightly sticking a hand out of the car window.
The road was empty, a Sunday night would do that to this town. It felt limitless, as if we could do anything.
"Do you want to stop for a bit? Enjoy the night?"
He drives a bit further, stopping in near a meadow. He parks the car, getting out and opening my door. He pats the hood of his SUV and has me climb upon it so that we could see the starry sky.
Niall wraps an arm around me, his skin warm and inviting. As I look up at the sky, I silently wish on a star.
Hoping that every moment could be as simple and spontaneous as this.
The rest, the rest could work itself out later.
After a dinner of Chinese take out, Niall pops in a movie. He leads me to the couch, wrapping his arms around me as soon as we sit down.
Although it seemed as if he were paying attention to the film, my mind wandered aimlessly. His body was so close to mine, I could feel his warmth intertwining with my own.
"Are you not enjoying the movie?"
"Oh, of course I am." I say, feigning interest in the television in front of us.
"You have something on your mind, princess?"
He unwraps himself from me, and I turn slightly so I could face him.
"I...do you...ummm..." Fuck. How do I say this without sounding like a bloody idiot?
"I just..." I sigh loudly. "Never mind. When the time comes I'll ask you."
"Alright then." He says with a smirk, obviously accustomed to my nervous outbursts. He re-wraps his arms around me, and somehow manages to tilt my face towards his, planting a kiss upon my cheek. "You're adorable."
I turn to face him, "Am not."
"You bloody are. Fuck, Ems. You're the cutest thing." He says planting kisses all over my face. I laugh wildly, and end up falling back against the armrest of the couch, Niall laying on top of me.
I look up at him wide eyed, his eyes locking onto mine. He slowly lowers his face, grazing his lips ever so slightly upon my own. He kissed me slowly at first, kisses becoming more demanding as time passed. I found myself pressing his body to mine, his hands ran up and down my sides, until they made their way to the edge of my shirt. He opens his eyes slightly, pulling back from our kiss.
"I...I think we should stop for now." He says with a frustrated sigh. He sits back up, and looks at me with a weary smile.
I feel myself becoming frustrated as well, but at the same time a bit relieved. He hadn't pushed it any further.
"Let's take you home, yeah?"
"Yeah." I nod, kissing him one last time. He groans quietly as I press myself against him, my body yearning to be closer to his.
"Careful Ems." He says taking me by surprise, and pinning me back against the armrest, "I may not be able to control myself much longer."