CHAPTER FIFTY SIX
Ready To Run
Forgetting about everything I run. Lightning, thunder, rain against the pavement, it is all blocked out from the beating of my heart. It beats wildly, my pulse as if my heart were about to give out. But I keep running, running the fastest I ever had in the entirety of my life.
Bolts of lightening brighten the sky in flashes, and all I think of are his eyes. How the lightening mimics the light in his baby blues, how I can't deny that it's there.
I'm running out of time, I try running faster, my heart barely keeping up.
But it didn't matter, I knew without him I'd never make it out alive.
It's as if this were pushing me to go faster, as if it were giving me the stamina I needed to continue running. As if I knew I'd be alright.
There was a devil in the memory his smile, and I swear to you, it was chasing me. It was taunting me. It was pushing me to go faster. It was on a gaining spree.
It was raining, it was thundering, it was almost a bloody monsoon. But there's a moment when you finally realize that there was no way you could change the rolling tide. Every step that has led me to him has been filled with chaos, even with regret. But I knew, yes I knew, that I would be fine.
My feet patter against the pavement, as I continue. Rain drenches me, it starts falling harder. I open my arms, deciding that I would either live life to the fullest or not it all. I smile widely, turning my face upwards, allowing the rain to drench me completely and entirely.
Without him, I was never fully alive anyways. I wanted to be his, and I knew he wanted to be mine. It was undeniable, it was inevitable and I was finally ready to fight for it, not willing to get lost in the dark of the night.
I want to be free, bloody free. And I want to be free by his side. I'm done trying to fight it. I'm done trying to think that fate controls me. I control fate.
Wherever he is, is the place I belong. He may be fate, but without me running to him, it didn't matter. It was fate that chose him, but it was me that chose to keep him. It is me that is choosing to fight for him.
I will never look back now. I have chosen my road. I'm bloody running down it.
I am finally ready to run to him.
I'm finally running to him.
Of course there's the future in my life I can't foresee, I don't know if down the line we'll argue. If we'll get bored of each other, if he'll scream and I'll cry.
I know that people will criticize. But accepting him, accepting my fate is only the beginning.
But I know, yes I know, we'll be alright.
I know that this is only the beginning. I know that the rest is unforeseeable. That the rest will only be more difficult. That it can't possibly be perfect forever. But god damn it, it didn't matter. As long as he is with me, as long as he is beside me, the rest didn't fucking matter. As long as he holds my hand, as long as I know he has my back, I know I'll never get lost in the dark of night.
As I run, as I am getting drenched by the cold storm, something lights within me. It is not the thunder nor the flashes of light, its knowing that wherever he is, is the place where I belong.
I have never felt more free, I have never felt more young. My body no longer shivers, I'm no longer cold. And I smile.
I know that this is only the beginning of my life. The beginning of my life with him.
This is only the beginning, and I am ready to run.
This time I am ready to run for it. Ready to fight for it.
I'd give everything that I've got for this love.
It's been eight bloody years, I've been waiting hopelessly for eight years. Never did I think that I would be running in the middle of the night to him. Never did I think that he would look at me the same way I look at him. Never did I think I could feel something like this. Never.
I love him. I love him more than anything in the bloody world.
For him I would run a thousand miles over.
I am ready to run any bloody distance for him. I am no longer afraid of the distance, the darkness, the fucking excuses. No more.
I am afraid of a life without him, that is the most frightening thing I can think of.
This time I am running, I ready.Wherever he is, is the place I belong.
I want to be free, I want to be his. I want to be there with him, every single day for the rest of my life.
I will be there soon Niall, I will be there soon.
I'm ready, and I know you are too.
I'll be there soon.