I waited for a few moments after Niall left the room. I didn't think he was going to leave, and I'm not sure why he left. I've calmed down since earlier, thank God. Now it's just mostly denial that any of this actaully happened, it's hard to understand and wrap your head around your husband, the man of your children, the man of your dreams, cheating on you. I was extremely thankful that we had the day off tomorrow, I don't think there's any way possible I would be able to preform tomorrow. I would break down and throw up on stage, and there's no doubt in my mind that Tessa would show up, just to make everything worse.
I sat up, searching for my phone. I pulled myself together while I dialed Maura's number. "Hello?" She answered.
I sniffed. "Hey." I said, my voice croaking. "Are the kids up?" I wiped my cheeks.
"Alec is, Ciara passed out on the way back home from the airport." I could hear her smiling, she loved all her grandchildren. She knew there was something wrong, though, you could hear it in the tone of her voice, she was steady with me, careful not to mention anything about Niall. And I was more than thankful for that.
"How are they?" I sniffed again. My sinus were clugged from all the crying. "Actaully, can you put Alec on the phone?" I asked and she handed him the phone.
"Hello?" Alec said. His voice was small and raspy, he was tired.
"Hey, how are you doing?" I asked him, a smile on my face. I wanted to cry more after hearing his voice. Maybe agreeing to come on tour was a bad idea, I miss my kids.
"Good. Ciara thought we were going to Greg's." I giggled, I knew he was rolling his eyes at his sister. "Nan said that we're here until school's over, then we can pick who we want to go with."
"Oh? I never heard anything of that? Anyway, it's your guises choice I guess." I shrugged. "When are you coming down to see us?" I asked him.
"I'm not sure. It's a lot of work flying back and fourth, mum, I'm exhausted." He said and it sounded like he put his head in his hands. I giggled lightly at him. Alec matured really fast, 12 going on 32, I swear. "We're not going to school tomorrow."
"Yeah I told your nan to let you both stay home and sort of recover." I heard him laugh lightly. "Anyway, love, I'm getting tired. I'll call you guys tomorrow okay?" I said.
"Okay, mum, love you." I hung up the phone and held it to my chest. Sucking in my top lip and looking up at the celin, I miss my kids.
I pulled the blankets off me and got up, I needed to work out a little bit. I can run the treadmill, just no lifting or anything. So I pulled on a pair of leggings, sports bra and tank top, laced up my shoes and grabbed my headphones; plugging them into my phone. I blasted music while on my way down to the hotel's gym and opened up the door. I put the tread on 5.5 and ran for almost half an hour. I felt amazing afterwards, but I was startled to see that I wasn't the only one in here like I thought.
Harry stood at the weights, lifting and letting them fall and pulling them back up. "Sorry, I didn't know you were in here." I said and chugged back a bottle of water and wipped the sweat off my face and neck with a towel I found folded up on shelf.
"No no, keep going." He laughed. I leaned against the treadmill. I watched him curl a dumbbell, his muscles expanding and contracting. I found that my heart rate was slowing down, until I started watching him, it started speeding up again. "What are you in here for?" His voice was restrained as he lifted again and let the weights fall to the ground again and knocked me out of my daydream.
I looked up from my feet. "Couldn't sleep." I shrugged and Harry nodded. I'm surprised at how much everybody sobered up. Harry went from not being able to sit up in the SUV to lifting in the gym. Not going to lie, he was sweating out the beer and alcohol he drank, the gym smelt of a beer factory. "I spoke with Alec." I said while starring at the ground again.
I could see him look over at me, grabbing the towel he had hanging off the mechine and wiping off his face and neck, sitting on the bench. "How was that?" He asked and downed his water.
"Good, Ciara was sleeping. Alec said that traveling was really exhausting." I giggled. "He has a few choice words about this job." I said and laughed, it was a broken laugh, but I laughed. I looked at my nails, sucking in a deep breath. "I miss them." I whispered. I was startled by arms wrapping around me. I stuffed my face into Harry's chest, starting to sob into him. "I just miss my life, ya know?" I said into his sweaty shirt. My hands gripped the back of his shirt and he held me tighter. His lips were on the top of my head, he let me vent and cry into his chest.
"It'll be okay, Braelynn. Everything happens for a reason, love." He said to me and kissed my forehead. "And as much as I would love to stay here and hold you, you need a shower." He teased me.
"You're like six foot something, my face is basically in your armpit." I teased back and he wiped the tears off my face.
"So we both need showers then, eh?" He wiggled his eyesbrows. His nose was touching mine as he smiled a cheeky little smirk at me before grabbing his stuff and walking out, waiting for me as he held the door opened for me.
I sat outside the hotel and a bench. My hair was still wet and I knew I needed to got to sleep, but I couldn't go back to my room. If I seen Niall there, I would fucking loose it. I can't stop crying, one minuet I'm fine and then the next in a ball spewing tears and drooling because I can't breathe. So now I'm practicing to hold my breath, so far, it's working. My face turns red and my eyes sting from lack of oxygen, kind of like right now. I just looked down at my phone, pressing my home button and seeing our family photo as my lock screen.
I sighed, I need my mum in situations like this. My aunt and I haven't talked since she dumped Harry and moved out of the country, I'm guessing she went bacl home? I dailed my mum's number, I was paying the bill just so I could hear her voice on the voicemail. The phone rang and the robot told me how to leave a message, something I never did. I always waited until her speech was over and hung up, calling back and doing it all over again.
"Hi there, sorry I missed your call. I'll be very happy to get back to you if you would like to leave your name and number, I'll call you back as soon as I can." The cheer in her voice was what made me choke on my tears. I miss her so much.
The beep came on and I stuttered at first. "H-hi mom. I just wanted to say that I miss you. The twins are getting so big, real big." I swallowed over the lump in my throat, my voice becoming very strained from trying to hold back tears. "I really need you. Like really need you." I sniffed and wipped the tears off my cheeks before they fell. "I miss you mum, I miss you a lot." I was cut off by the beep again, my message being too long.
I wipped under my nose and leaned forward, my elbows on my knees and my head hanging low. I was remembering what my mom did the last time I had my heart broken just before I left for tour the first time. She held me in my room and just let me hug her, cry into her new shirt and rubbed my back. Even though I'm an adult now, I need my mom more than ever right now.
I looked up at the sky. "I love you." I said to her and kissed my fingers, pointing them to the sky. I pulled the blanket tighter around me and laid down on the bench, crying myself to sleep outside with my mum watching over me.