On The Road Again

"You just need trust."

Sometimes people come into your life, to help you grow, learn and move forward with your past self. Sometimes that's all they're there for, just for those simple things.

Sometimes they don't stay, sometimes they do.

Maybe it's time Braelynn let go.


13. Alcoholic



I just pushed it back, that feeling can not exist.


"What song am I joining in at?" I asked nervously, I can't remember if I asked this question already.  

Harry laughed at my stutter. "Teenage Dirtbag, you're going to be 'Noel'." He smiled, putting his hands on my shoulders for rensureance. "Liam is switching out with Niall, he's just sticking to guitar tonight."  

"Okay." I gulped. I looked at myself in the mirror. I liked my outfit for tonight; I sort of matched with the boys. Dark skinny jeans; with holes in them, lace covering the skin. A white tanktop, and brown thick healed boots.

"You'll be fine, you've learnt everything. At least this time you're not doing crazy dance stuff and changing your outfits every song." He winked. "Just listen to this." He smiled and pointed to my ear piece. I smiled back, giggling a little. 

"Hey baby, you're going to  do amazing. After you come up with us, we're going off stage." I just blinked at him, the nerves in my stomach making me want to throw up. "Baby, you're fine, you're just overthinking now." He laughed at me, putting his hands on my cheeks and kissing my forehead. 

"I know, I know." I sighed. "You have to go now." I poked his chest. "The kids are with Lou, and they're waiting to watch." I laughed, I don't know why, but I was laughing. 

"Can I get a kiss?" I blushed and let him kiss my lips. I felt like a little school girl getting all flustered over her first kiss. "See you soon, baby, go practice." He pointed behind me and I turned around, seeing my coach waving her hand for me to come.


"I'm sorry, I'm old." I sighed, slightly out of breath. I forgot how much work your body actually goes through during these things. Don't get me wrong, I stay active.. But I don't excersise this many muscles, sometimes, all at once. 

"No, no. You are doing fine." She has an acent, almost sounds French? I can't really tell. "So here's what's going to happen tonight. Incase it was not fully explained." Which it wasn't. "You go up on the floor, lifted," she raised her hands in the air, showing me what she means. "Backwards, though, with your mic in hand. I don't know about lights, but you're going to turn around and start singing in ugliest voice ever." She's defiantly Russian. 


"Then after that, you start your singing and dancing. You don't have your own songs so we picked out songs for you." She still hasn't given me her name yet, and something tells me I'm probably not going to be able to pronounce it anyway. 

"Alright." I breathed. I already learnt some songs and dances with it, but I'm going to learn the rest while the boys are on stage. 

"From top! 5,6,7,8."





I strummed my guitar, excited to see Braelynn come up on stage. Her part was coming up and I was almost missing the strings I was so excited.  And here it comes. The music didn't stop and Louis kept singing as the whole arena went black. The crowd fell silent and then whispers were heard but we didn't stop. A LED light was admitting behind the stage while Braelynn was being lifted up. I turned to stare, a smile on my face as the mic that was held in her hand was brought to her mouth. She's a fucking goddess.

"I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby, come with me Friday, don't say maybe. I'm just a Teenage Dirtbag, baby, like you." And we all joined in at the 'ou'. The crowd went nuts as the lights flicked back on, going crazy and following Harry's air punches. Braelynn wasn't shy as she walked over to the screaming fans and hugged them, blowing kisses at them and coming back up to finish the song. 

"Braelynn Horan, everybody!" Harry screamed and Josh went crazy on the drums.

"I hope you're all ready for an amazing preformance by her!" I said into the mic, putting my arm around her and kissing her cheek. I smiled into her skin as I felt her heat up against my lips. "Thank you so much for coming out! We love you Belfast!" Braelynn's music started after that, which was our que to get off the stage. 

I ran out back, passed my guitar over and ran out front. I picked up my little girl and watched Braelynn preform. "Mummy's really good." Ciara said.

"That she is." I smiled. But then I noticed something, maybe I'm just tired or something. Braelynn wasn't wearing her rings? "Do you know anything about your mum taking her tings off?" I asked. Both kids didn't look at me, pretending I never said anything. Maybe she just took them off for the preformance. I know mine slips when I play guitar. 



"Drinks!" Louis shouted, running around the change room.

"Agreed!" We all said together. "Coming?" I asked Braelynn.

"Yeah, I don't feel like drinking, but I'll come." She smiled, laying her head down on my shoulder. "I'm exhausted." She sighed. I wrapped my arms around her, kissing her forehead and putting my hands through her hair. I loved hearing her moan into my shirt whenever I played with her hair and massaged her shoulders. 

My hands ran over her sides, staying at the dip in her waist. She felt different, almost lumpy? Not in a back way but like when she was pregnant for the twins-

Holy Shit.

No, no way. I'm just paranoid. "Let's go, the twins are leaving." I pulled her along, her hand was tight on mine. I know she's still hurting and I refuse to hurt her anymoer. "We'll see you again soon, okay? Love you both so much." We kissed their foreheads and they left. It sort of bothered me to see that Ciara was able to just leave without putting up a fight, I know she's getting older but still. I cleared my throat and acted like it didn't bother me. 

We went back to the hotel and got ready. It was weird to see Braelynn all dressed up, I'm use to seeing in her pajamas in Skype, or just in jeans and a tshirt when I'm home. Not going to lie, my jeans got tighter the longer I stared at her. "You look crazy sexy." I walked over to her, my hands trying to touch every part of her. "This dress is amazing, holy shit." I stepped back, but not taking my hands off her. I scanned her body up and down before I kissed her lips. 

"Thank you, I haven't dressed up in a while." She blushed, sort of looking away. I just smiled, wanting to giggle at her for acting like a small girl. She was acting shy, kind of like the first time I met her, and the first we actually hung out. I kissed her nose and she turned to slip her shoes on. Her dress was black and tight, sleeves to her elbows and the neck line was showing off just the right amount of chest. It stopped a little above mid-thigh and it had my mouth watering. Also, if you looked close enough, you could see the lace forming through the material of the dress. She was wearing the bra I bought for her, it pushes everything in the right direction.  "Coming?" She asked when she was done lacing up her heals. 

"Almost." I whispered and winked. She put her hand over her mouth, swatting at me whenever she realized what I meant. I bit my lip, I haven't found myself so attracted to her in such a long time.  "Goddamn, Braelynn. You have got to be the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my entire life." I said breathlessly.  I huffed and grabbed her arm, slamming her to the door and pinning her. I felt her breathing get heavy and her thighs tighten together. "Kiss me." I felt like I had to beg her. She just looked at me as she didn't know what to do, so I did it. 

Once our lips met, we were done. Her legs were around my torso, hands in my hair; causing my hat to fall to the ground. Her heart was gaining speed against my chest, making me moan into her mouth. I pulled her bottom lip with my teeth and letting go before going back to kissing her. My mouth moved down her neck and to her chest, making pant above me and huff. It's been awhile since we've touched each other. "We've got time." She says and I smirk, taking her off the door and laying her on the bed.




His touch felt rushed, like I wasn't a person. As if I was a one night stand. I didn't care at this point, I just wanted his hands on me. 

MY breath hitched, his hands ran up dress. He pulled my legs to the side of the bed, getting on his knees and pushing my dress half way up my ribs. I proped myself up on my elbows, I wanted to watch. The smirk that was on his face whenever I made eye contact with him was enough to make me throw my head back and moan. "So soft." He said against my thigh and kissed it, making them shake. "Fuck." I heard him whisper.

"Niall." I whined. He laughed deeply, the viberations against my core pushed my body in the bed, lifted my hips and having his lips make seriously rough contact with my slit. "Holy fuck." I had put a pillow over my mouth in case was to hear me. 

I could hear his mouth smacking aagainst me, and I was about to blow. Not only was his mouth doing an amazing job, but he just had to add his finger into the mix; slipping in and out in a fast pace. My walls clenched around him, legs shook  and my hands gripped the sheets, and when he whispered, "so tight." And his hands pinned my thighs to the bed, I pressed the pillow further to my face and allowed myself show him what a good job he was doing.  "Taste so good." He said to me, making me moan.  I heaved whenever he put two in, it almost hurt. "You're really tight.." He said and I looked down at him. 

"It has been a while." I said to him. He got up and on top of me, using his legs and one elbow to balance him while his other hand ran through my hair. "Last time I had anything was before you left." 

"You're so beautiful." He said to me, my cheeks turning even redder. My eyes closed whenever his fingers brushed over my face, I felt so calm. 

"Sit up." I said. He gave me a funny look but complied.  He sat against the headboard of the bed and I straddled one of his legs, undoing his pants and slipping them down to his knees. I didn't mean to look creepy, but I just stared at him; scanning his body and taking him all in. He's here in front of me and allowing ME to touch him, not another girl. Me. 

I leaned over to him, putting my hands under his shirt and feeling how toned he was. I lifted up slowly and watched as it reveled his beautiful body. I can not express to anyone enough how fucking gorgeous this man is, I just can't believe he's mine. My lips connected his, moving down to his neck and my hand reached down to pump him while my lips steamed against his hot skin. I looked up at him whenever I got down to his hair line, smirking to myself whenever I seen how his eyes rolled back and his head rested against the board. 

I lowered my mouth on to his tip, hollowing my cheeks and rolling my tongue around him. His hips jerked at the pleasure, making me take him further down my throat. 

His hands found my hair, not pulling or tugging, but slightly pushing down on my head. Nothing I couldn't handle, I just liked to do things my own way. 

"HEY! Are you coming?" Louis' voice screamed, fists pounding against the door. 

"I was about to." Niall groaned  and looked down at me. "Stay like that. Just a minuet!" He shouted and grabbed his phone. I stayed in the position I was in, ass in the air, boobs half out and hair a mess. He took my picture and then got up off the bed and put his shirt back on. I stood up also, fixing my shirt and popping a piece of gum into my mouth, giving one to Niall. I fixed my hair and applied my lipstick back on. "You're a fucking goddess." He whispered in my ear whenever we were about to open the door.

I looked down at the ground and smiled, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. "Oi! Nialler, why are your cheeks so red?" Louis teased, lightly shoving him. Niall almost lost his balance, falling into the wall for support. He just gave Louis a dirty look and walked beside me. "We need to finish later tonight." He whispered in my ear, making me bite my lip. 

Cameras were outside the hotel, blinding me with the flashes and making me put a hand over my eyes and point my head to the group. Security was big tonight, seven huge men surrounding all sides of us. They opened the door for us and boys made me get in first. Honestly, things like that scared the hell out of me, and I think Niall noticed because he always has his arm tight around me when going through shit like that. I was just excited to get out and go somewhere, I'm almost always home with the kids, cooking and cleaning, I never go out. 



"Fuck." Niall slurred to me, I just smiled. He was being so touchy, making me drunk off just him. I wasn't drinking because  I figured I would be playing mommy for the night, which I was. All five boys were almost too drunk, Liam wasn't so bad, but the rest almost couldn't walk. "You, my love, are the prettiest-" He hiccuped. "Woman I have ever seen. You've got these fucking curves-" And again. "Fucking ass." Both his hands grabbed my ass, pulling me into him. "Jesus Christ, Braelynn, you're so fucking sexy." He was cursing a lot, like every sentence. 

"Thank you." Was all I could say because I was laughing too hard. He kissed me, and kissed me and kissed me, it almost like a dog kiss; sloppy and needy. "Niall, how much did you drink?" 

He hiccuped again, "a lot." He admitted. "I'm really drunk." 

"I can tell." 

"Are you guys ready to go home?" Liam asked, Harry was hanging off his shoulders. 

"Yes please." I said and grabbed Niall. His eyes were glossy, making them seem more blue. Louis was the same, Harry couldn't even keep his eyes opened and Zayn was already passing out in the SUV. Liam and I were the only ones that weren't stumbling and slurring our words. Although Liam did drink, just not as much as the others. "Fuck, it's like taking care of a sick 12 year old." I muttered. 

"Yeah, he's been doing that a lot." Liam said. I looked at him whenever Niall finally laid his head in my lap and soft snores came from his mouth. "He's, like, depressed or something?" Liam said. His eyes were glossy, and he was ready for bed but still functional. 

"What do you mean?" 

"He just gets really drunk and doesn't know how to control it. Like an alcoholic, but not that bad. I think he just misses his family, maybe, I mean yeah he misses his family. He loves his family, but he loves his job. He's talked about leaving a few times this tour, breaks my heart."


"Because he didn't like how he was forced to do that with Tessa, he knew how bad it was going to hurt his wife, but he couldn't not do it, ya know?" 

No, I really didn't know. But I wasn't going to question it. I don't think Liam knows he's talking to me. "He talks about her all the time though, makes me really mad because he has a beautiful family and I couldn't imagine doing that to my Sophia. That's just crazy to be thinking about another women while you're girl is home, taking care of TWO kids by herself and having to watch and read about you in the Media. Terrible."

"Talks about who?" My heart was breaking.

"Tess. She's come to som- some of the concrets, Niall asked her a few times." I swallowed, looking out the window. "I ju-just couldn't do it. Ya know? Break up with your wife or something instead of cheating. I don't know."

"Cheating?" I cocked an eyebrow. Oh boy.

"Well, we don't really know if it actaully happened, but he didn't come back to the hotel a few times, and we don't know if he was with her but he wouldn't even talk to his own kids? Who does that?" 

I stopped talking, just laid my head back on the car seat. This was going to be a fun month.




I was starting to sober up. I tried to talk to Braelynn but she was just giving me short answers. I figured it was because she was tired. We got back to the hotel and she walked in before any of us, the first one out of the SUV and the first in the hotel, something was up. I just shook my head and walked in behind her. 

She was in the bathroom whenever I got in the room. My phone started to buzz, I didn't know the number but I answered anyway. "Hello?" I half slurred. 



"It's Tessa."

"Why?" I scratched my head, getting up off the chair I was sitting in. 

"We need to talk."

"About?" I really didn't want to talk to her. 

Braelynn walked out of the bathroom while I was on the phone, she stood in front of me and at the same fucking time... They both say, "Niall, I'm pregnant."


Oh fuck.

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