I was laying on the hotel room bed still thinking about the stupid things that made me sad to think about. I looked up at the white roof with a big mirror on it. I didnt get why there even was one and i didnt like it either. I didnt like seeing myself like this. Just being down and waiting for the one i love with all my heart. I mumbled all the things i was thinking about. Eleanor doesnt deserve Lou, but i dont either. I dont treat him right. I always get so jealous of everything and it feels like i cant show Lou enough how much i actually love him. Im trying my harder but sometimes, or always, it doesnt feel like its enough. And especially when he cries or just feels down over stuff. I can never really make him feel better, so if u ask me. I dont deserve a single moment with the beautiful boy.
I looked up at the mirror and saw the curls thatid try too get away from my face. All of the gel and hairspray had disappeared and my hair fell on the exact same say as i used to have it. Over my forehead. I hated it. It just reminded me of when Modest told me and Lou that we wernt allowed to touch each other or sit next to each other. Both me and Lou broke down that day. We didnt know what to do or even how to keep living.
I heard someone walk past my hotel room and really hoped it would be Lou just leaving his stuff fast before he would get here. I waited for about 15 minutes until he finally came. He knocked twice on my door and i a rhythm that only him and i had. I got up and walked over to the door and opened it. Lou passed me faster than i could react and i closed the door.
''She's so annoying an im so tired of it.. God!'' He threw himself on the hotel bed, he looked so tired and put on the tv as if he lived here. I walked over to him. ''What did u two do?'' I asked and sat down on the bed next to him.
''Starbucks as always.. She's freaking obsessed with it and the worst part is that i HAVE to pay for her..'' Lou said and looked over at me. I softly smiled at him and put my hand on his shoulder.
''It will be over soon okay? We r gonna get trough this together okay?''
''Yeah u r right, im sorry, how was ur day?'' Lou took my hand and started playing with my fingers.
''Like usually, Just thinking.'' I answered and looked down.
''Oh, those thoughts? They arent true, i love u and only u okay?''
Harry swallowed and looked down Lou.
''I love u to, and im sorry if i think u dont..''
Harry looked over at the tv and saw what her never hoped to see.
''Lou... Look......'' He said quietly and swallowed.