1. All in my head.
It all started when i got my number before for my x-factor audition. I knew that my life was gonna change for ever that day, even if i got through or not. But one thing i didnt know, i was gonna fall inlove.
It was just like any other day. After the concert me and the boys had performed our last concert for a few days, we all walked back to our hotel rooms. I sat down on my bed and took up my phone. I waited for the photos of Eleanor and Lou to just spread all over the internet since they had went out on a party, and for the Larry Shippers to tweet me photos, confessions, complains, etc about Elounor and Larry Stylinson, as they call it. Modest managment had told me that Lou and Eleanor were gonna be at a party tonight and that i wasnt allowed to walk into Lou's room until after Eleanor had left for the night.
I didnt know for sure if Lou liked Eleanor or not. Like i could see on most of the photos with them together that he wasnt super happy but it was so hard for me to just say ''WELL LOU ONLY LOVES ME, ONLY ME!!1!!!11!!'' after i became so insecure since Eleanor came along, and people started saying that me and Lou's relationship was fake. I mean, what if it was fake and all in my head. If i just thought me and Lou still had something from the first times of the x-factor time when actually Lou had moved on along time ago and fallen a little for Eleanor instead. What if i was just hanging on a string attached to Lou's wrist and he kept dragging me around pretending like i wasnt there.
I came back from reality and sighed. I wasnt me anymore, i wasnt the happy Harry Styles anymore. I was so depressed when i was alone and everything seemed like a misery. I got up from the hotel bed i was sitting on and walked over to the big mirror hanging on the wall in front of me. I looked at myself and put on a fake smile, just like Lou did in most of the photos with Eleanor. I could see how it didnt reach up to my eyes and even if i knew i was fake smiling i could tell i was faking. It hurt in my cheeks to pretend.
''God, u cant do anything right Harry!
How did Lou do it? Even if u could see on the photos that he fake smiled, he still looked beautiful. And me, well i just looked weird. Im not saying that all my smiles with the fans are real, but the fake ones doesnt make my cheeks hurt. I guess it was cuz i felt so down, after thinking all of this made my eyes burn from tears that just wanted to stream down my cheek. I kept looking at myself and backed of a little to see myself in a different angle. I looked just as weird.
My phone vibrated in my hand and looked down at my brightly shone up screen. A text, from Lou. My face shone up from cheek to cheek. I looked at myself in the mirror. I still looked weird as always but i liked my real smile much more than the fake one. The tears were gone and all the pain in my face just disappeared as if it was never there. I shone up like i always did every time i saw Lou or just thought bout Lou. I unlocked my phone fastly and read it with the same silly smile.
//I hate Modest... 😒❤//
I loved when he texted things i already knew. I knew he hated Modest but it made me smile that he took time to text me it. Even if himself knew i knew.
//I know Boo Bear.. 🔫// I answered and looked back at myself in the mirror. When i felt that my phone vibrated i looked down at the screen and read the answer he had sent.
//When all of this is over, can i sleep in ur room? 😏//
I chuckled for myself and just kept noticing myself smiling like an idiot. I tried to stop but i just couldnt.
//Watch a movie and cuddle? 😚// I wrote it knowing thats not what he wanted.
//Right, watch a movie 😏// I realized how many Emojis we actually used and just giggled for myself.