For financial reasons I chose to become a surrogate mom. I had no idea that it would change my life. I thought it was an easy way to earn money, but slowly, I was into something that resembled a dream. A nightmare!


2. Yes or no?

I almost forgot that I had applied to become a surrogate mom. Life went on and I managed to struggle to not end up in financial loss. I worked at the pub on Fridays and Saturdays. During the week, I was at the factory and after four, three days a week, I cleaned at different places for a cleaning company. I was tired and I felt that my energy was low. Maybe it was my salvation, after all, when the phone rang.
"Hi, it's Anna!"
I almost almost didn't realize that it was her. It was as if I had forgotten my application and I had to sit down.
She laughed a little bit.
"I just want to announce that we have a couple who are interested in meeting you."
I gasped. Had a couple chosen me? I didn't know what to say.
She laughed again.
"No, on Friday."
I hesitated. On Friday?
"Uh, I work all day and I can't..." I realized that I was perhaps forced to go from my job. "Or, okay!" I got up. "When Where and How?"




My legs shook when Anna showed me into her office. Inside there sat a couple and for some reason I recognized them. Yet, I chose not to ask anything, I smiled a little bit and I tried to look normal. The girl was beautiful and I noticed that she was much prettier than I was. The guy was also quite good looking and he had a charming smile. They stood up. I felt silly because I had no idea what I would say.
"I'm Louis Tomlinson!" he said and held out his hand. "This is my girlfriend Eleanor and we are so glad that you gave us this opportunity."
Anna smiled and she took her arm around my shoulders.
"Just take it easy!" she said to me. "They're just here to get to know you." Then she looked at us all. "I leave you now for a while and it's just for you to ask questions and feel whether this is okay."
I sat down. I still wasn't sure, but I noticed that Louis and Eleanor was the opposite. They watched me closely and it was like they didn't care about that Anna left the room.
"We can't have children of our own." burst Eleanor out quickly. "It's me that's wrong on so we chose this path."
Louis agreed.
"And we want you to know that you are welcome to visit us when all is over. We are so thankful that we found a girl who we liked as we like you."
I understood that it wasn't time yet to talk about money. I smiled and I tried to calm me down. I wasn't sure I wanted to set up on this. But It felt wrong to refuse, I couldn't deny them anything, because I had been on the list of their choice.
"Why me?" I asked uncertainly. Louis laughed a little bit and he took Eleanor's hand in his.
"You seem like a normal girl and we understand that you really burn to help another couple to have children. Otherwise you wouldn't registered yourself to this?"
I swallowed. Damn!
Eleanor smiled and she seemed to like me, although I didn't look like her.
"And we wanted a girl in our age. Many of the others were older and we felt that it would just feel wrong. You also seems to be a girl who stands firmly on the ground. You're kind of like a friend, though we don't know you."


It felt dazed. I liked both directly and they appeared to be normal. I don't know what I had expecting, but it felt more easy to say yes, when Anna came back. Eleanor and Louis had talked about them and about things that they thought that I would know about. I listened, but at the same time, I was so nervous that I only heard half of what they said.


Anna came up with a paper to me.
"And here's the confidentiality agreement."
I was startled.
Louis leaned slightly toward me and he smiled awry.
"I'm a part of a group, known in the world and I want this to be a secret from the outside world."
I hadn't been prepared to hear that part. I frowned and I watched him closely.
"You mean no one will ever know that I have helped you?"
He nodded a little sadly.
"I'm sorry that we'll hide the truth, but for the child's sake we want this to be between us."
I looked down at the papers and I read quickly through them. One Direction? I realized who he was and I understood why I had recognized them. The idea about the money disappeared, and instead I was just unsure.
"So I don't..." I didn't get the words out. Louis understood that I hesitated, he moved from his chair. He sat down next to me and he looked straight into my eyes.
"Okay, I understand that you hesitate." he whispered sweet. "Please! For us it's feels like the best choice that you'll be carrying our children. We have really been looking forward to this day and I promise that we will do everything for you, just say yes."
I swallowed.
"Can I think about it?"
Eleanor nodded quickly.
"Of course you have to think through all of this. I understand that it must feel odd for you."
Anna agreed, and she smiled soothing against me.
"We don't require that you'll say yes today, but I just wanted to give you the papers so that you are aware of the agreement between us."
I nodded a little bit and I looked at them all.
"Give me a few days."
Louis nodded quickly. He took out a business card with his number on and I took doubtful it in my hand.
"Please call me in a few days." he said. "I promise that we can write a contract that you are happy with and money is no problem. We pay all your expenses and we can also ensure that you don't need to work while you are pregnant."

Okay, now he caught my attention. Not working?
"But I got loan?" I got up. Finally I got to be honest. Louis smiled wryly and he took his arm around my shoulders.
"We solve everything." he said confidently. "We will help you if you help us."




When I got home the thoughts spun around in my head. Louis and Eleanor? They were known in the world and they wanted me, that I would give birth to their child. Just the idea was difficult to understand. I sat down and I read through secrecy. Okay, I couldn't go to the newspapers or any public media and tell them that I had their children. It was an easy thing for me! Why would I even want to talk about it to the press? I couldn't neither talk about them to my family or friends. That was easy! My parents were dead and I didn't have many people to talk to. Okay, the friends I had would certainly believe in a lie. I realized that I was just made for them. It was as if this was fate. I would get the money and I would get along financially. There was a tingling in my stomach and I smiled for the first time in a long time.


"Hi, it's me, Cathy!"
I called Louis in the evening. I had showered and I had been thinking about that for four days. He sounded as if he had won the lottery.
"Hey, love!" he exclaimed. "How nice to hear your voice. We have talked so much about you."
I blushed. They talked about me? I felt a tingle in my body. I had prepared myself before the call and now when I heard his voice disappeared all the thoughts I had before.
"You were talking about paying my loan?"
I had to really be sure that we were talking about the same thing. Louis seemed to sit down and he seemed to understand what I wanted to know.
"Yes, I told you so?"
I smiled weakly.
"And you can be sure that I don't have to work at three different jobs?"
He seemed to flinch.
"You have three jobs?"
I was almost ashamed.
"Yes, at the moment." I wanted to be honest. Come on! I said to myself. Louis seemed think for the moment and I didn't know what to say.
"Where do you live?"
I was startled. He wanted to know where I live?
"Why do you want to know that?"
He laughed a little bit.
"I'm sorry, but I thought I could come over and we can sort it all out. I'm sure I can help you, just as a thank you for what you doing for us."
I frowned.
"I haven't said yes yet?"
He didn't care.
"Cathy, you need help and we need help. Let's meet in the middle, but then I have to know everything about your income and all of your loans."
Shit. I was ashamed about my financial side.
"You mean everything?"
He laughed.
"Come on and give me a chance." he said quickly. "I promise to help you, but then I want you to say yes."
I didn't say yes to him, but I told him where I lived. I noted that I actually had a pretty clean apartment, but I was hoping that I would have time to make some in order before he came to me.
"I'm at your place in an hour!" he said. I nodded and as soon as I hung up, I ran around to pick up everything. I did the dishes, I removed the clothes and I tried to get the apartment to see okay, in his eyes.




I submitted all the papers on the kitchen table. Louis counted together what I would cost him and he seemed to be an economist. He smiled all the time and it was like he didn't care about the numbers on the bills. He then looked at me and he seemed pleased that I was honest.
"When do I hear a yes?"
I swallowed.
"You mean you help me with the money if I say yes?"
He laughed a little bit and he nodded.
"Yes, to having a child is important to me and Eleanor and I do everything for us to have a child."
I thought for a bit.
"You can choose a different surrogate who has a better economy?"
He agreed.
"But I want you!" he said as if he was sure of what he considered. "You are the only one we wanted and I do everything to make you stay with us."
Here I could say no, but at the same time I realized that I couldn't deny him the chance to be a father. They would have a child and I would have a secure future. Somehow I realized that I now had a chance to solve all my problems.
"Okay!" I got out. I gave him my hand and I nodded. "Yes!"
Louis lit up. He shook my hand and then he ran around the kitchen table and he gave me a big hug. He hugged me tightly.
"Thank you and I promise you will be happy when it's all over." He seemed almost as he wanted to kiss me with happiness. "Thank you!"

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