For financial reasons I chose to become a surrogate mom. I had no idea that it would change my life. I thought it was an easy way to earn money, but slowly, I was into something that resembled a dream. A nightmare!


7. Harry

Slowly, I became myself. Louis and I didn't talk about what had happened between us. It was as if we needed it and now we could live on. Eleanor released me and she slowly began to return to what was Eleanor. She never said sorry to me, for what she had said, but I saw at her that she was ashamed. Just to have something to do, before they found an egg donor, I got an extra job in a supermarket. Louis gave me money every month, but I wanted to feel needed and I needed to get out.


"Excuse me, but are you Cathy?"
I was startled. I was walking home when a guy stopped me. I hadn't seen him before and he didn't look like one of my friends.
"Why do you ask?"
He smiled faintly and he ran his hand through his dark curly hair.
"I'm a friend with Louis." he said kindly. "I'm Harry, one in the band."
I tried to smile. Why did he talk to me? I had no idea if Louis had told him or them that I would give them a child or not.
"Hello?" I got up. Harry laughed a little bit. He was handsome and he was wearing a coat. Around his neck he had a scarf and he looked like an artist. He pulled his hand many times through his hair.
"Sorry I stopped you, but Louis has told me about you."
I still hesitated.
Harry laughed a little bit and he looked uncertainly at me.
"I know that you are their surrogate mom." he said kindly. "He told us in the band about you and he asked us to be quiet about that part."
I swallowed.
"I know I shouldn't talk to others." I whispered. "Is it okay to talk to you about that topic?"
He smiled wryly and he raised his eyebrows.
"We don't need to talk about it?" he replied quickly. "Do you want to come along and have a cup of coffee with me?"
I hesitated.
He ran his hand through his hair again and I saw that he was trying to come up with an answer.
"Just because we both know Louis?"
I couldn't help but smile. I looked around. There were no people where we were and I wondered how he knew what I looked like? It felt wrong to say yes, but at the same time I didn't want to be rude.
"I don't know if it's a good idea." I said quickly. He frowned and quickly he picked up the mobile phone. I gasped when I realized that he made a call to Louis.
"Hey, it's Harry." he said with a twinkle in his eye and he liked my reaction. "Is it okay if I drink a cup of coffee with Cathy? I happened to walk into her here on the street and she thinks that I shouldn't."
I blushed and I looked at Harry that he got an answer. He raised his eyebrows and then he ended the call.
"So will you follow?" he asked me. I hesitated.
"Louis said yes?"
Harry nodded and he pointed to the nearest café.
"It's open!" he said, and then he smiled at me again. "I promise not to bite you."
I swallowed and I looked for a long time for him. His green eyes were friendly and the whole of his face told me he was okay.


I sat nervously down at a table. Harry put a cup of coffee in front of me and then he sat down on the other side of the table.
"I've heard that you now working?"
I looked up at Harry. Louis had really told him all about me? I frowned and thought about what Louis hadn't said.
"You know everything?"
Harry laughed a little bit and he took off his coat. During that he had a shirt that was open the top buttons. I saw that he was tattooed and he was sunburned. Actually, he looked like he had a great body and I blushed when he saw that I was staring at his body.
"Louis also has tattoos." he said quickly, as if that were the reason I stared. I blushed and I looked down at my cup. I realized that Harry was such a guy that I could think about to get together with in the future.
"I know!"
Harry was intrigued. I couldn't understand why he wanted to drink coffee with me or why he even wanted to hang out with me.
"Why do you insist on this?" I asked why and I looked at him. "I mean, how did you know I was me?"
He hesitated. He sipped quietly on the coffee.
"Louis showed a photo." he answered. I blushed. Okay I knew that they had taken some photos of me, but I had no idea that he would show them to others.
"A photo?"
Harry nodded. I think he understood that I did n't immediately felt comfortable. He put down his cup and then he looked straight at me.
"Okay, I've been so curious about you, after all that Louis has told me. I mean you no harm and I just wanted to know who you are." He smiled weakly. "I was so curious about you, because everything that Louis tells makes you look like a star."
I blushed. A star? I just stared at him.
"Are you serious?"
He laughed a little bit and he leaned lightly over  the table, with his eyes fixed on me.
"Yes, you are a saint in the Louis circuits." he said honestly. "It's as if he paints a stunning girl from his imagination. We didn't know if you existed."
I blushed even more. This was just too much. Louis had thus gone around and talked about me with them all? Wouldn't it be kept a secret that I was their surrogate?
"He breaks the contract." I said quickly. Harry shook his head.
"No, he just told it to people who wont gossip. I haven't even told my parents that he has you. They think Eleanor and Louis are trying to have children in the normal way."
I swallowed.




When I arrived outside my apartment, came an angry Louis against me. He was red in the face and I saw at him that something was wrong.
"How could you?" he whispered cold. "I said no to Harry and yet you went with him?"
I gasped and quickly I realized that none of this was my fault.
"He said to me that you said yes?"
Louis threw out his arms. Quickly he grabbed my arm and he pulled me into my apartment. I understood that he didn't want that anyone on the street could hear us.
"I said no!" he shouted as soon as the door was closed. I was almost angry. Would he rule over my life? Couldn't I drink coffee with anyone?
"And you say that to me?" I replied cold. Louis snorted.
"Yes, I say that to you?"
I crossed my arms over my chest and I looked at him coldly.
"I found out that you have indeed told everyone that I exist and that means you are breaking the contract."
He gasped.
"What are you talking about?"
I snorted cold.
"Yes, you have told all your friends about how awesome I am and that I will give birth to your child. It breaks the contract. I can't talk to a single person about this but you get to do so?"
Louis rolled his eyes and he ran his hand through his hair.
"But come on!" he said cold. "I tell only them that I trust."
I snorted.
"And what have you told? Have you also said that you fucked me?"
Okay, it wasn't a nice thing to say, but I was mad at him. Louis couldn't tell me who I got to drink coffee with or not and he didn't decided over my choice.
"No!" he exclaimed, and he was red in the face. "I have just talked about that you doing us a great service, and you're a wonderful girl."
I snarled.
"So you may talk about secret things that you don't..."
Louis grabbed my face with both hands and he looked straight into my eyes.
"Don't you hear what I say?"
I tried to get away, but he held me tight.
Louis groaned and he continued to stare into my eyes.
"Don't you understand that you are playing with my feelings?"
I sighed. I didn't understand what he was talking about.
"I play with your feelings?" I exclaimed. "It's you who has a girlfriend and it was you who seduced me."
He sighed and he looked at me closely. He seemed to calm down.
"Come on!" he whispered hoarsely. "You are playing with me. You make me want to do things I haven't done before."
I swallowed. What was he talking about?
"What can I get you to want to do?"
He swallowed and his eyes looked almost sad.
"You make me want to leave everything." he whispered hoarsely. "You make me want to leave Eleanor and run away with you, just because you make me feel so good."
I fell silent. Huh? Louis swallowed again and he released my face.
"Can't you see that I slowly fall into your hand?" he whispered on. "I can no longer think clearly and the only thing I see before me is you. When I'm with Eleanor, it's as if she's a stranger. I don't belong with her."
Was this a declaration of love? I didn't know if I dared to breathe and I was almost shocked.
"Louis, you can't have those feelings for me." I whispered quickly. "I'm the one who will give birth to your child and you belong with Eleanor?"
He shook his head. He seemed almost devastated.
"Please don't say that." he answered. "Don't you feel anything for me? When we made love it was as if you feel the same for me."
I wanted to scream. Yeah, okay that I felt something for him, but this was to go over the limit.
"Stop!" I said quickly. "We shouldn't having this conversation."
Louis backed off a few steps from me. He looked at me like I was the one who stuck a knife in him. He didn't understand?
"Please." I whispered quickly. "I have signed the contract and I have suffered two miscarriages. All for Eleanor and your sake."
He shook his head.
"It doesn't matter." he whispered. "I love you."
I gasped and I just stared at him. This I hadn't expected. I didn't know if I should stay or what to do. I slid into myself and it was as if I was a different person. He couldn't be in love with me? How could he be that when he had Eleanor?
"I fell this the very first time I saw you." he whispered on. "You came in at Anna's office and you were like a fresh spring breeze. I couldn't stop looking at you and you was and you are so beautiful."
I quickly shook on my head.
"No, Louis, this isn't right?"
He smiled.
"Well, this is the only thing that has felt right in my entire life." He threw out his arms. "I'm totally crazy about you and I haven't realized it until today when Harry called me."
Okay, what would I say? For me, he was Louis, the guy who wanted to have children. For me he was busy with Eleanor and he loved her.
"You don't think logically." I mumbled. "You only think you feel that?"
He shook his head.
"I know what I feel." he answered. "Give me a chance to prove that I'm the right guy for you."
I swallowed and I felt the fear took over.
"Louis, if you break up with Eleanor, she will be ruined." I whispered. "I have a contract to follow. I signed that I would only..."
Louis walked up to me. He took his hands gently around my face and he smiled weakly.
"If I and Eleanor break up, it means that the contract doesn't matter." he said with secure voice and he smiled a little more. "Forget everything and feel what you feel."
I didn't know what to say.
"I need to think about what I want." I answered. He released me and he nodded tired. He wanted me to say yes, but maybe I was the wrong girl for him? What did I felt for Louis?
"Okay!" he answered. "You may think of it, but I can't live a lie."

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