I felt like an idiot. Eleanor came over to me and she was anything but happy.
"I think that Louis will leave me." she said. I panicked. What would I say? I sat down and I smiled at her.
"No, you're supposed to have a child together?"
She sighed and I saw at her that the child didn't mean anything anymore.
"No, I think he has found someone else." she said, and then she looked at me. "He doesn't want to hug me and he doesn't want to.. have sex."
I was thinking about a good answer.
"But everything's because on that you have so many things going on?" what more could I say? "I'm here and everything doesn't go as planned?"
She sighed and she was placed on the other side of the table.
"Yeah, right?" she whispered. "He doesn't even have time to bark at me when I'm not home. In the past, he complained all the time but now,, it's as if he doesn't care."
"So stay home?"
She looked at me and it was as if she knew that was a good idea.
"You mean I should give him more time?"
I tried to smile.
"Suck up to him and show that you love him?"
I wanted the opposite. Something told me that it still wouldn't help and I felt like an idiot. This was my fault.
"Okay!" She smiled, and it was as if she believed in my words. "I'll be home more and I'll show him I still love him."
That life that I had hoped for didn't show up. I realized that I couldn't take me away from Louis's life, but at the same time, I didn't want to stick around. I didn't want to be the girl who ruined their relationship. I didn't want to admit that I had feelings for Louis, since it would be wrong to do so. I ended up in a vacuum and I didn't even know if tomorrow would be better. It seemed as if they no longer wanted to have children, and what did I do there then?
I continued to work and I tried to create a meaning to my life. It was as if I woke up every morning with the same concern in my body and when I got home, I was worried that Louis would show up. I started to lock the door and I began to hide. I noted that I more rarely saw Eleanor. Louis didn't seem to be able to come over and I realized that it was because of her. Maybe they would arrange their relationship and maybe they found a way back to each other?
The pub was packed with people. I felt more like myself when I went with some colleagues there. It was the first time in years that I was able to relax and actually realized that I should do it more often. Jamie, Alex and Sonja were social. They laughed and talked with me as if they were accustomed to that I was with them. It was easy as well and it was like as an evening would be. I was therefore surprised when I right that it was saw Louis. He came into the pub, went straight up to the bar and he ordered a beer. I saw that he drank it quickly and then he ordered a new one. He spun around and he seemed to look across the room. Quickly, I sat so that he didn't see me. I didn't want to talk to him and what would I say to my workmates?
"Isn't that Louis from One Direction?"
Sonja had spotted Louis and everyone started to stare at him. I collapsed and I did everything that I'd feel unseen.
"Well there he is!" Alex responded immediately and she smiled big. "He likes to be here, but not often."
I swallowed and I saw that no one noticed that I hid myself.
"He's handsome!" continued Sonja and she looked back on the table. "Talk about that famous people live nearby and we have no idea about it?"
I nodded. What else could I do. Louis drank two more beers and then he left the pub. I puffed out.
When I came in on my street, I tried to peek at their houses to see if they were awake. The house was blackened and I puffed out. I realized that I couldn't continue to live such a life, but how could I do to get it normal? However I did would someone getting hurt. If I left them, they would certainly say that I broke the contract. If I stayed, I would certainly hurt either Louis or Eleanor. Maybe they would say that I wasn't needed anymore? Maybe that Eleanor didn't want children anymore, and that she would say that I could continue my life? I was hoping for the best.
I walked towards the entrance of the house and I froze. On the stairs sat Louis. He looked straight at me and he looked just as insecure as me. I stayed with distance from him. He stood up. I noted that he wasn't sober, but he wasn't drunk.
"Hey!" he said in a whisper. "I've been waiting here."
I swallowed. I frowned and I thought about what I would say.
"I was with some friends." I whispered back. He nodded tired and he threw out his arms.
"I just want to talk to you and see you." he said. "She believes I'm with Harry and the other guys. I lied just to meet you."
I swallowed. Okay, and now I would say what? I went to the door and as soon as I entered the stairwell, he followed me in. I unlocked my door and I chose to let him into the apartment. Louis closed the door behind us and I spun around. He stood at the door and he looked at me with both sorrowful and sad eyes.
"Please!" he whispered tenderly. "I can't let you go away."
I cleared my throat.
"If Eleanor know about us she will be devastated." I said. "She was here a day ago and I told her that she should stay home and be with you."
Louis was startled.
"Oh?" he got up. "I wondered why she was home so much." Then he shook his head. "And it doesn't help anymore. I don't want her."
I backed off.
"But you can't get me."
He became stiff and he just stared at me.
I swallowed and I looked down at the floor. I had many answers to that question. Before I had time to open my mouth, he came up to me and he caught up my face with his hands. He forced me to look at him.
"Why is it so difficult?" he asked hoarsely. "Why don't you want me?"
I didn't know if I would be honest.
"You know why?" I whispered. "I'm here to give birth to a child and I'm not here to destroy."
Louis snorted and he released my face.
"We might not want a child, not anymore?"
I smiled weakly.
"And then my mission's over?"
He shook his head.
"No, your mission's not over. I'm your mission."
I shook my head and I backed off.
"No, Louis!" I said quickly. "I wont..."
Quickly he took two quick steps toward me. I gasped when he took his arms around my body and his lips met mine. I felt how he kissed me and I couldn't resist. He backed me up against a wall and I was stupid enough to take my arms around his neck. This was wrong, but god I loved his kisses.
Louis was quick. He pulled up my dress and he quickly got off my panties. He didn't let go off my lips, he kissed me as if it were a choice of life or death. Quickly he pulled down his fly and I felt how he lifted me up. It was as if we become mad. I felt how he penetrated. I groaned loudly and I realized that this piece of him I loved. He knew what he would do and my body kept calling out for more. He pounded hard into me and it was as if he was competing against someone else. I felt the butt repeatedly pounded into the wall and just that feeling made me more excited. I took my legs around his waist. Louis groaned loudly and he ended the kiss. He looked straight into my eyes and his whole face was red. I saw at him that he wanted more. He wanted all of me. It was as if he wasn't thinking clearly.
Right as it was he slid out of me. He dropped me on the floor. Quickly he got me to go down on all fours and he stood on his knees behind me. He forced me to bend foreward as a dog and he penetrated again. I felt his hand got me to land with my head against the floor. His other hand held me hard across the waist and he pounded hard in and out. My breath was deep and I closed my eyes. Damn, I loved having sex with him. Louis groaned and I felt that he unbuckled the entire body. Our bodies were Made for Each Other and I heard it smacked every time he pounded into me. The pace increased and I was shaking with excitement. Before I could feel something more, he came. Fast, easy and straight into me.
Louis spun me around. I landed on my back and without that I had asked for it, slipped his face down between my legs. I screamed when he started to lick me. I took my hands hard against his head and I took my legs around his body. I threw back my head and I let my mouth be wide open. He took over my whole existence. I felt his tongue moved over the area. He sucked, he licked and he got me to reach great heights. I pushed myself up and down under him and I felt how everything woke up inside me. That tingle came back down there and I almost stopped breathing. I ended up in a fog and I was shaking uncontrollably. I screamed before I collapsed on his back against the floor.
"You can get this every night."
I opened my eyes and I looked down at him.
He smiled and kissed me quickly down there.
"I can give you orgasms every night. I can take care of you, just say yes."
I pulled my hands through his hair and I looked at him. I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him. Louis smiled and he kissed me again down there.
"You love it?"
I nodded. I couldn't lie. He was the best lover I had had in my life. It was as if all the pieces were there, but the question was if I was ready to destroy Eleanor?
We showered and Louis had to borrow a toothbrush. We were quiet and we said no more that night. When we was finished, we crawled naked into bed and I fell asleep with Louis arms around my body. I couldn't resist and I couldn't argue with him.