Anakin Skywalker and the I-Won-The-Boonta-Eve-Podrace

Anakin Skywalker's perspective of "The Phantom Menace." Mostly played for laughs. Great insiparation from "Draco Malfoy And The Rejected Handshake," written by Mirlotta and her amazing co-authors. Enjoy!

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1. Dear Diary

Just to begin with, let me introduce myself. My name is Anakin Skywalker.

This is my diary.

Mom says I can "see things before they happen," and I feel that helps me in Podraces. At least it would, if that slimeball Sebulba hadn't built that huge orange Podracer with secret weapons.

Sebulba. The more I think about him the more likely I am to scream. Every time I enter a race, he tries to kill me.

I'm also a slave ever since I was 3, and I've been flying before I could walk. That said, I crawled into the starship I flew! No one believes me though, except Obi-Wan Kenobi...at least he will. But who is he anyway? All I know is that he'll probably be my friend when I meet him. When, not if. That's right, I can see bits and pieces of the future and I'm proud of that.

Some people who've met me say I am high, and I'm not. It's a proven fact that I am 100--no, 1000% sober. Don't believe me, consult my diary.

Anyways, enough said. It's my bedtime and I need to go. But down to the point: My name is Anakin Skywalker, and this is my story.

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