I'm good at saying goodbye

I took my chance to look up at the house one last time. And all I could think to myself was saying goodbye had never been so easy.


5. Getting Drunk Means Getting Stupid

My apartment building swayed and seemed to be slightly blurry by the time me and Harry got back. By the time we had left Striped Vision and taken the 15 cab drive to my apartment I had downed half a bottle of whisky. When I had bought it Harry was a little concerned about the fact that I wanted such a hard drink. But this wasn't the first time, I often told Harry to take me there, and the drinks I usually bought where along the lines of hard liquor. I needed the drinks. And Harry knew that every now and then I needed to binge on my drinking. I never really cared how much I drank because future me would have to deal with the affects. Not me, present Sarah was driving, and she didn't care about the consequences she left future Sarah to deal with. Present Sarah is a selfish person, and that's the way I liked it. Harry helped me up the stairs and got us into my flat. He sat me at the table and went to make us both a cup of tea. As I reached for the bottle of whisky it was pulled quickly out of my reach. "Harry!" I protested as I looked up to see him holding the bottle while grinning at me. 

"Oh come on love. You didn't honestly think that you would get the whole bottle to yourself?" he grinned as he wrapped his perfect lips around the neck of the bottle, he tilted his head back and drank deeply.It wasn't that unusual for Harry to change his disproving look on my drinking to and approving, he loved drinking just as much as I did,, and he would never pass up a chance to drink good whisky. After he pulled the bottle away from his lips he looked me in the eye and smiled his most sensual smile. Perfect teeth showed thorough his dark red lips. A sudden heat flared up through my body as he looked at me. My insides seemed to melt. The longer he looked at me the more intense the feeling got. I could feel my face start to deepen in color. Harry finally broke eye contact with me as he turned to pull something out a black bag that he had left at my flat earlier today. 


"Harry...." I asked questioningly "Whats that?" He turned to face me with his all to perfect face lighting up in a smile. 

"Nothing." he replied with a smirk.

"Liar." I called him out. I pointed to whatever he was holding behind his back."Whats behind your back."

"Oh just something I picked up from a friend of a friend." a dangerous light flashed through his eyes.

"Oh a friend of a friend?"

"Yes a friend of a friend." He brought his hand out from behind his back and through the small package at me. I let the package drop, in my drunken state I wasn't all ways the fastest at reacting I reached down and picked it up off the floor. The bag was a white plastic bag. The inside contents where a white powdery substance. My eyes widened as I realized what it was. 

"Drugs? Where did you get them?" I asked incredulously.

"I told you a friend of a friend." He studied me for a moment, before letting his big goofy smile play across his lips. "Well do you want to have some or not?" I never was that good at making good decisions when I was somber. So why would I start to make good ones when I was in a drunken state?

" I'm ready to do it when you are." When I said that he smiled and the tea he was making earlier was forgotten.


20 minutes later me and Harry where sitting on the couch staring at the wall. This was my first time getting high. And it was bloody brilliant. My vision created different colored lights that flashed around the room. My body felt light and airy. Any doubts and reservations I had earlier about the drugs Harry brought where completely gone. In school they always told us why drugs where bad for use. What they physically did to you. But they never touched base on what it made you feel. They never told us why people craved the mental images that came with a high. They never told us because if we knew that the drugs could make us feel so...so happy then we wouldn't want to not do them. Me and Harry sat there in quite, only talking every now and then, and when we did the conversation would only last 30 seconds or so. After a while the high began to wear off, and reality was starting to come back. I tried to fight it for as long as I could. But it didn't work, the drugs where only low level drugs that gave you a 30 minute high at best. All I could do was sit and relax during the last few minutes of my high. Not a care in the world.


"Sarah?" Harry's voice came from the left of me. 

"Hmmmmmm?" I answered not quite willing to give my whole attention to him.

"Why do you never touch me?" That question made me jump a little bit. I turned to look at him. Giving him my full attention. "What I mean to say.... Well you..... And I ......." Harry was having a hard time figuring out what to say. "I like it when you held my hand today!" he ended up blurting out. I opened my mouth to reply but he quickly cut me off with his own voice. "But that was the first time in 10 months you've ever done anything like that. And I just want to know why." His voice cracked a bit with that last word. "Am I not good enough for you? That's the question I ask my self everyday. You mean the world to me. And I think that I mean something to you too. I mean you seem like you really like me sometimes. And I can tell the its more that a friend like. But other times you don't seem to want to do anything with me. Why?" his face voiced all sorts of hurt emotions.

"Harry...." I started out. What can I say to him? That I was unsure about what I was doing here? That he makes me feel so good inside? How to I tell him that? I wanted to tell him something. But what? "Harry I'm scared to touch you." what came out of my mouth surprised me. I wasn't even thinking that.

"There's nothing to be scared of anymore." He said. My body tensed as he leaned in closer. Finally his lips crashed fully against mine. And I surprised my self once again by pressing mine with just as much force to his.

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