Harry Potter And The Friendly Fight

Just a mini oneshot about what I think would happen If Harry and Voldemort didn't actually want to kill each other off. :D Sorry, I'm rubbish at summaries!


1. Harry Potter And The Friendly Fight

The two supposed enemies stood, one at each end of the Great Hall. One liked pink fluffy uni- Let's not go into too much detail. Sorry reader, that was my fault. Ah. As I was saying before I interrupted myself- Urgh! I'm doing it again! OK. Right. I got this. Sorry again for the inconvenience. The two enemies stood, one at each end of the Great Hall. They narrowed their eyes and glared at each other. They started to circle each other. And then, through the crowd, a loud voice said very rudely," ..."   -in my opinion, anyway- No, dang it! I'm not meant to be doing this! So, the voice said very rudely, "Shouldn't you just get on with the fight already?"
Harry narrowed his eyes. "SCREW THIS FIGHT! WHO WAS THAT? HOW VERY DARE HOW RUDE! I'M COMING FOR YOU NOW!" Well, that's not exactly what he said. But you get the idea, reader. For once, Voldemort became the responsible parent. Well, no actually- URGH! I THOUGHT THIS JOB WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! I'M GOING TO NEED A PAY RISE, I'M ONLY EARNING 50p A WEEK! A WEEK, DANG IT! But, Ahem. You didn't need to know that. Ignore me. Well, actually don't because I'm telling the story and it would me rude not to listen. I've got a thing about rude peop- Right. On with the story! Voldemort looked at Harry. "We'll kill who ever that was later, but right now I've just got to murder you quickly..."
Harry winced in response. "I don't want to kill anyone today. Except for that guy that was rude to us!"
Voldemort started crying. "I-I'm sorry, Harry! I-I don't want to kill you e-either!" Then he went completely back to normal. Well, as normal as a noseless person can get anyway. "And anyway, how do you know it was a guy that said it?"
Harry's answer was simple. "I just know only guys can be so rude. And stop snivelling. It's bad for your masculinity!"

"S-sorry," Voldemort said, crying again. "I'm so s-sorry." He changed moods once again. "AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT STUPID MASCULINITY RIGHT NOW! URGH, FLIP! I'M SO MAD!"

"Don't be, I'm the one you're trying to kill!" Harry said very loudly back.

" ANADA KADRAVA!" Voldy made a mistake -ha! FLIP! I've done it AGAIN- because he was so worked up and sad. A bunch of pansies shot out of his wand. Everyone laughed. He was basically DESTROYING his masculinity here. Heh, LOL. Not again. What is wrong with me today? I put orange juice in my cereal. But again, you didn't need to know that.

"Alright, Noseless," Harry began. Voldemort's eyes narrowed in annoyance as the old nickname was said once again. "I'll let you go if you promise to be a good boy." Voldemort nodded eagerly and ran away cheering, shouting at the top of his lungs and telling people the war was over.

"NOW, WHO MADE THAT INCREDIBLY RUDE COMMENT?" Harry shouted. Neville laughed nervously and put his hand up. He was punched in the jaw ruthlessly.


                                                                                THE END.  It was a good story if you ask me-EEK! I'm done with reading stories!


Sorry If it was rubbish. I expect you're doing one of these things as you read this:

1. Cheering because it's over.

2.. Cheering because the reader has stopped reading the story.

3. Cheering but you don't know why.

Or maybe one of these:

1. Walking away because this was too weird for you.

2. Waking up after falling asleep:

And 3. You're not sure what to think.




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