I texted Julie the day after her wedding.“Jules, I-I-I need to to tell you something…” I erased it quickly. How do I know if I’m pregnant, I promised myself not to tell anyone until the time was right… Maybe I should text Michelle first… she’s more likely to you know… understand… I thought No, I can’t, it can wait. I kept telling myself. I went into the house with a note on the counter.
I’ll be at Arthur’s for the next week, if you need anything just text.
Looks like I might be pulling her from Arthur’s… I can’t maybe I should tell Lyllianne first, she’s quiet and she might not say anything. I pulled my phone out of my pocket.
“Lylli, I need to tell you something but you need to keep it a secret from everyone even Matthew.”
“A secret from Matthew? I don’t know Zara…”
“Please I’m desperate and I did something I might regret and the guilt is killing me.”
“Fine, what is it?”
“I ummm… might be pregnant…”
“Yeah things slipped the other night, it’s been two weeks and umm… I might be pregnant, but you have to swear not to tell anyone else.”
“Don’t tell anyone, they’re going to figure it out eventually, Zara.”
“But, just don’t please..”
“Alright, Zara, as long as you tell them.”
“Deal.” I put my phone back in my pocket and walked around the living room. Hey I’m alone that means I can sing sweet! I thought.
“The bitch came back the very next day, oh the bitch came back, thought she was a goner, but the bitch came back, she couldn’t stay away, don’t you know the bitch came back.” I sang as loud as I could. The house felt empty, my voice echoed throughout the house. “I like her so much better when she’s down on her knees, cuz when she’s in my face is when I’m startin’ to see that all my friends were right for thinkin’ that we’d be wrong, she’s so fucking stupid bet she’s singin’ along. The trouble with girls is they’re all the same forget the diamonds and pearls, they just want a ring. Before you know it you’re like a dog on a leash, well you can try to change the world but you won’t change me.” There was a slight pause before I started the second verse, “There she goes again she’s always breaking my balls, no matter what I do somehow it’s always my fault, she says I must be cheatin’ cuz I turned off my phone, but that’s the only freakin’ way she’ll leave me alone. The trouble with girls--” I stopped myself Why am I singing a sexist song about my gender?
“Right now, he’s probably slow dancin with a beach blonde tramp and she’s probably getting thirsty, right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink cuz she can’t shoot whisky, right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool stick showing her how to shoot a combo, and he don’t know… I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats, took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires, maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats--” I was then rudely cut off by a voice.
“You’ve got a nice voice, Zara.” It was a male voice and it wasn’t Ivan’s. It’s either Derick or Cole and either one now, not good. I thought. Out of the shade of the doorway stepped Derick as predicted.
“Are you people ever going to leave me alone?”
“Maybe, maybe not, none of your concern.” I just continued singing and doing what I was doing.
“Right now, she’s probably up singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke, right now, she’s probably saying I’m drunk, and he’s thinkin that he’s gonna get lucky. Right now, he’s probably bettin all three dollars worth on that bathroom polo, oh and he don’t know- oh that I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats, took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires, maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats.” He cut me off at my counter top while I was going to put the silverware away.
“I might’ve saved a little trouble for the next girl, so the next time that he cheats, oh you know it won’t be on me… oh no not on me. I dug my keys into the side of his pretty little souped up four wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats, took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires, maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats, oh maybe next he’ll think before he cheats, oh before he cheats, no oh.” I sang. He looked at me with a frown.
“Cheater cheater where’d you meet her, down Ernie’s bar? Did she smile your way twirl her hair and say “How cute your dimples are?” Did she use that line your place or mine while you danced with her real slow--” He cut me off pushing me.
“Tell me cheater, cheater where’d you meet that no good white trash hoe?” he sang. I took it as a challenge.
“Liar Liar did you buy her whisky all night long? Did you hide your ring in the pocket of your jeans or did you just keep it on? When the deed was done and you had your fun did you think I wouldn’t know? Tell me cheater cheater where’d you meet that no good white trash hoe?” He cut me off yet again.
“Now I’m not one to judge someone that I ain’t ever met, but to lay your hands on a married man is bout as low as a gal can get.” I cut him off this time smiling.
“Hey I wish her well as she rots in hell and you can tell her I said so. Tell me cheater, cheater where’d you meet that no good white trash hoe? Loser,Loser hope you love her cuz you’re stuck with her now, take your sorry butt and go through all your stuff--” This part I yelled, “AND GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE! Now I just wish you’d tell me this one thing before you go, cheater, cheater, where’d you meet that no good white trash hoe. Now I’d just wish you’d tell me this one thing before you go, cheater cheater, where’d you meet that low down uptown, slept with every guy around pressed on eyelash, no good white trash whore.” I ended on the perfect note. I never really understood my singing ability until now. He pressed me against the counter.
“You wouldn’t hurt a woman… wait a second, you have already… You wouldn’t hurt a pregnant woman would--” Oh shit, what did I just do? I’m a dumbass....
“Since when did you get pregnant?” he said just as Cole walked in. “Hey, Cole. The girl is pregnant.”
“Why do you need to know? If I wanted you to know, I would have told you.”
“She’s pregnant? Aww… isn’t that a shame that we’re going to have to kill the slut before the child is born.” Cole said. Derick still had me pressed against the counter. I took aim, he stood still, I slapped him as hard as I could, then hit my target on the ball shot. I walked around him and ran up the stairs. Why did there I go up the stairs? In horror films, you never go upstairs… I thought as I locked myself in my room. Where’s my ladder? I thought. I opened my closet door and found a little girl sitting in my closet with a rope that was about 15 feet long.
“Thank you, but do I know you?”
“Michaela. Here you go.” I grabbed the rope and tied it to my dresser. I slid down the rope and ended up outside the house. I sat down in the brush and Derick turned the corner.
“You guys just won’t leave me alone, will you?”
“That’s up to me.” I swallowed hard. I am so dead... I thought. All of a sudden everything turned to darkness and all the noise I heard was the sound of my ears ringing.