I just got out of the shower at Lyllz’ house when the doorbell rings. I groan, but I know there’s no one else in the house besides Eli, and he’s unconscious. I wrap the towel around myself even tighter, and answer the door.
“Who are you, what do you want?” I ask tiredly... It was a cold shower.
“I have a package for a Miss Lyllianne Tiernelle…” The postman says, apparently only just realizing how I’m dressed.
“Thanks, I’ll get it to her.” I say, taking the package. I’m about to close the door when he speaks up again.
“Excuse me but, um, are you Michelle Hoffman?” I look back at him and squint.
“I have some letters for you too.” He says. He takes out about fifteen letters. I have no control over my jaw dropping.
“What are those?!”
“Your letters. Some from a Francis Bonnefoy, a Gilbert the Awesome, one just labeled “Denmark”, and a few others. Oh, and a death threat from one Micky Sherman. So yeah.”
“Th-thanks.” I say, taking the letters. I sit down at the table and open them. Eli is sitting there, looking spaced out with a mug of coffee in his hand.
“Wazzdat?” He mutters, taking another sip.
“Letters, apparently. To me.” I open the first one from Francis. I take out a few naked pictures of him. I take the most logical course of action, and they go right down the garbage disposal. The letter with it just said, “Heard you and Alf are over. These are for the lonely nights.” That goes right down with them.
The next one is an apology from Prussia, and a membership card to the motor track. “Hope to see you there sometime!” The end of the letter says.
“At least he remembered.” I say, showing Eli.
I open the Denmark one, and it is very similar to France’s approach. At least this one covered the unmentionables and said, “Wanna see the rest? You know where to find me.” It followed France’s approach right down to how I got rid of them.
The rest were basically the same, one from a Turkey, one from an Estonia, and a couple others. It turns out, France sent three more. It was gross. Nevertheless, I got through them, and actually found enough time to change before I-
Before I what? Zar already had her wedding, I know Jules and Arty had theirs too because there are very few things you can keep from me. I’m not going out with Al anymore so there’s that. I guess I’ll put the card to the motor track to good use.
“You coming with?” I ask Eli, grabbing my leather jacket.
“Going where?” He asks, looking more awake and reading the paper while drinking his coffee.
“The motorcycle track. Thought I’d see what kinds of bikes they have.”
“Okay.” He says after a moment, folding the paper and getting up and stretching. “You’re not gonna force me on a bike though, will you?”
I laugh. “You’re a cat, why would you need to learn how to ride a bike?’ I say, opening the door.
“True, but I never know with you.” He says following me.
I laugh again. “Good, I’m keeping you on your-” I stop when I see who’s ahead of us. “-toes.”
“Er- hi.” Al says awkwardly. rubbing the back of his neck.
“Uh, hi Al. Sorry, Can’s out with Lyll.” I say. Eli takes the stance of where he basically is just standing with his “Shackles” raised.
“Oh, that’s cool, but I was actually looking for you.”
“Oh? Oh, I see. Look, I’ll move my stuff out of your house when I get the chance. I was about to go to the motor track.”
“You need a membership card to do that.”
“Prussia sent her one.” Eli says, putting an arm around my shoulders.
Al looked deflated. “Wh-what? He did? But, uh look, it’s not about your stuff in my house.”
“Then what’s it about?”
He takes a deep breath and looks back up at me, a smirk on his face. “It’s about your love in my heart.”
I stand there looking at him for a second. “You’re still drunk, aren’t you?”
“No! I’m hungover, actually. Look, I’m sorry for what I did and said, can we just… put it behind us?”
I sigh. “Yeah, sure, why not.”
“Really?! Thanks babe! I-”
“But let’s get something straight.” I say, cutting him off. “Just because I forgave you, does not mean, by any stretch of the imagination, that I want to get back together with you.”
“I- b-but I, you said-”
“I said I forgave you. And I do. But I’m not getting back together with you.”
“Because I have zero romantic interest in you.”
“But we dated!”
“Yes, you’re right, we did. Dated. Past tense.” I walk around him, and Eli follows after, and I can only presume that he stuck his tongue out at Al.
“Nicely handled.” He says to me.
“Same with your tongue.” I say.
“You are just a walking innuendo, aren’t you?”
I wink at him. “Now you’re getting it!”