See the bright lights and adoring fans.
Hear those fans chanting one name.
Can you make it out? We can get a little closer if you'd like.
Hear it now?
Even in the different languages (Amtec, Popul, maybe even a little Ouranean), you can still make out what they're saying.
"LE-ON! LE-ON! LE-ON!"
They seem rather excited to see someone.
"Introducing the totally amazing... Leon Greene!"
Suddenly, a man walks out onto the stage, looking a little uncomfortable in his gray-and-black jumpsuit, but hiding it very well beneath a smile that even the near-blind Tremareans could see.
Is he a pop star? Famous dancer?
Nay, Leon Greene is something much better.
He's a hero.
Couldn't you see that before? Perhaps you're a little bit out of focus.
Now it seems as though he's doing something else.
I don't believe it- he's prepared a speech!
"Good citizens of the Dimensional Layers-"
My, I haven't seen something like this since Acto-Plan went on tour. Louder than a Criela, no?
"I have come here tonight for one reason. Tonight, I thank everyone who helped me become the hero that I am today. That means all of you out there, all the way out to the Fifth Dimension, you have helped me. Every single one of you has inspired me to be who I am."
Well, now. That is, for a fact, entirely baloney. I know quite a lot of people that don't know about Leon Greene's existence (namely the entire planet of Merkaida). But, let's hear him out.
"So, tonight, all of you will be having the best night of your lives!"
Oh, dear. Is he really doing that? Well, maybe I should have kept talking.
I have a feeling that this is going to be a while.
Wait, did he stop?
Oh, no. That's just him pausing to let the crowd cheer.
Let's sit back and let him do his thing.
"Tonight, throughout all the Dimensions, we're gonna have FUN!"
I'm sorry, but I can't let him go on like this. He may be a Dimension-wide hero, but he's not that great at public speaking.
Let's skip to the end.
Ah, good, it's all done. I do believe this is Leon's dressing room we're looking at here.
Here he is! The man of the night!
What? Oh, no, not Leon. I ordered pizza before you showed up.
But I think Leon's in there now. I'll turn the volume up so you can hear.
"OK. Wow, that was really loud. I think my eardrums are long gone."
When he's not on stage, he talks to himself a lot. Kinda weird, I know, but it gives me time to finish my pizza.
"Delivery for Mr. Greene!"
"Ah, good, fan mail. Thank you, boy."
"My pleasure, sir! It's an honor to be working with you."
"Well, that's very nice of you to say. Here, have an autograph, boy."
"Thank you, Mr. Greene, sir!"
"My pleasure, boy. Now, you've got other things to do, I suppose, so you'd better start doing them!"
OK, I'm done now. What's that you're saying? Did you miss me? No? Hmm. Must have been that fourth piece of pizza talking. Anyway, Leon's back at his desk, with that giant bag of mail. He's got it open and- oh! He must have been busy lately.
"Let's see, we can start with the top one."
Dear Leon Greene:
You're a fraud.
Wow, never seen him look so surprised. From what I can see, it's written in Common, which is a bad thing for him. No way to narrow it down from here.
You might be wondering why Leon here has gone stiff. He might even fall over at this point.
But the reason is: that letter was absolutely, totally, true.
The totally amazing Leon Greene is a fraud.
As in, he's not a hero.
You ok? You've gone as glassy-eyed as Mr. Light-As-A-Feather-Stiff-As-A-Board over there.
I'm just gonna go back to my pizza.
-booting up program-
-shutting down program-