I trusted you

This is me just ranting


3. What's the point?

As i lay here in my bed, without you, i cant help but wonder whats the point of anything anymore. Why wake up when i cant wake up to you in my arms? Why breathe if we cant breathe the same air?

What do i mean to you? Do i mean anything at all?

I wish i was enough, i wish you would love me. I stay her hoping, wishing, while you clearly moved on. Its my own fault i suppose.

Other girls like me...other girls want to be with me. I tried moving on, i tried by dating some girl that i didn't even like. She broke up with me, i didn't even cry. I only cried when i saw her making out with my best friend. I'm not sure why, maybe it just pushed me off the edge. Maybe because i had lost another person i cared about, only to see them loving someone else.

All she was to me was a piece of flesh, something to numb the pain. What hurt the most is that i believed you, i believed her. When the words "I love you" "I'm falling hard for you" "im so lucky to have you" were muttered. I don't trust anyone, I don't want anyone...except for you.

I want you to yell at me, scream at me, tell me you hate me, tell me i disgust you, hell even hit me!! At least that would make it easier to get over you, instead of laying here wondering what i mean to you.

The crimson drops don't help, neither does the liquid fire, nor the trees. 

"How does it feel to leave me this way,When all that you have's been lost in a day? Everyone knows, but not what to say. I've been wonderin' now.
I've been staring at the hotel ceiling, Drinking everything I've found this evening, Trying to hold onto the sweetest feeling, So I'll never let you go, don't you leave me lonely. Start to see this, everyone I know cannot believe this. Trying to hold onto the sweetest feeling, So I'll never let you go, don't you leave me lonely now.
When my eyes open, morning pulls me into the view, no I guess I'm only acting in the way that you do. Just being alone, no. Only time tells me more than I hoped, all that I know is I'll be fine in a fortnight, lo and behold, I knew I shouldn't have let you go."

Hotel ceiling- Rixton

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