(To all those who's been called an outsider)
"We're goin' to search your mothers house, through your belongings and people you know for clues" Jamie says in a gently tone, and his slang makes me smile.
He has blonde long curls, and bright blue eyes.
He's tall, and wears a suit with a K on. Knight.
He's friendly, and not cold like the others.
I nod, and swallow hard.
Jamie smiles. "Don't worry, we'll find him or her who did it" He says, and looks confident.
I shake my head. "It's not that." I say.
Jamie laughs. "You scared we gon' look through yo diary?" He asks.
I shake my head no. "I'm afraid to find out who did it, if it's someone I know" I say, and look at my hands. The skin's cracking, and small drops of blood slides down my fingers. I dry it away with my sleeve. I bite my lip. I bad habit I've gotten over time.
Jamie touches my shoulder to comfort. "You not worry 'bout your secrets?" He asks, and I look up and smile. "No. You?" I ask. Jamie hesitates. He swallows hard, and looks around.
"Sound record OFF, cut out three minuts" He whispers, and I hear a couple of clicks, and looks surprised around.
"Just if you told me some important information" He says, and smiles.
"Doors close" He says, and the doors shut, and we're alone in the meeting room with the metal table, and the scent of whisky in the air. The fire in the corner is on.
"What's going on Jamie?" I ask confused.
Jamie swallows hard, finds a chair and sits down across from me.
"You won't tell them this.. Will you?" He asks.
I cross my arms over my chest, and gives him a serious look. "Whatever you wan't to tell me, I can't tell anybody?" I ask. Jamie nods. "No one" He says.
I nod. "I swear I won't" I say.
Jamie nods, and takes a deep breath, holds it, and let's it out after a while.
"Annabelle. I'm not like the others.. The slang.. It's fake.. It's something I use, to protect myself." He says, and my heard starts to pound. Another different one?
Jamie swallows hard, and looks nervous. "Why?" I ask.
He takes another deep breath, and this time he holds it for a long time. I swallow, and prepare myself for the worst. Images starts showing up in my thought.
Killed a person.
I'm an old guard.
I try to ignore the thoughts.
My heart beats harder, and my palms are sweating.
I shiver, and get reminded of my missing leg feeling.
"I'm not into girls..." He says, and I see his beating heart through his shirt.
"What?" Is all I can say.
Jamie swallows hard. "I'm gay. Annabelle" He says, and swallows one more time.
My eyes are about to pop out of my head.
"That's it?" I ask, and almost laugh, but I don't, because he looks so sad and nervous.
"Annabelle.. If the knights find out, they'll kill me" He says.
I look at him in confusion. "Why?" I ask.
"It's illegal!" He says.
I raise an eyebrow. "But it's not.. You didn't choose to be gay.. How could they?" I ask.
Jamie shakes his head. "I havn't told anyone except you. Not even my father... If I did, he'd be the one holding the gun over my head" He says, and looks down.
I drive close to him, and grabs his shoulder.
"Don't worry. You're secrets safe with me.. And Jamie?" I say.
Jamie looks up. "There's nothing wrong with you Jamie. Know that! There will be changes soon. I promise you. You won't have to pretend" I say, and clap his shoulder.
He looks at me, and I can see hope. "You really think so?" He asks.
I swallow hard, and remove my hand from his shoulder. "I will do everything to change things" I say.
Jamie sighs in relieve. "You don't know how happy I am, that I told you" He says.
I tilt my head. "Why did you tell me?" I ask.
Jamie smiles. "You seem so different, so open.. It's like you give hope" He says.
I swallow hard, and try to smile. "I hope, I for fill your expectations" I say.