Ask Missy

Hi all, Missy here! I'm starting an advice column which will hopefully be able to benefit everyone. I will be answering all types of questions so please don't be shy and ask away! If you are satisfied with your care, please share this among your fellow Movellians so we can help a lot of people! Love always, Missy xxx

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10. The Observer

I'm bisexual and I've told my friends but I don't know how to come out to my family, any advice?

 

-The Observer

 

 

Hi there!

 

I'm actually in the same boat as you. I'm bisexual too! And I have yet to tell my parents as well...

I'm going to give you the advice that I will be using when I finally come out to my family.

 

*I don't know if your advice is going to help, Missy*

 

Shush, you. And where have you been?

 

*Inactive*

 

-.-"

 

Anyway, so first you need to establish your situation. Are you okay with your family not knowing, or is it something that's bottling up inside you, waiting to burst out? Do you think your family will be okay with your bisexuality or do you think they won't accept it?

 

If you're okay with your family not knowing, then first of all take all the time you need. If it's not going to hinder your relationship with them, then don't worry rushing things. If it gets to the point that you're keeping secrets from them, then that's a good time to sit down and tell them the truth.

If it's something you desperately need to tell your family, then tell them as soon as possible. Rip it off, like a band aid. The longer you wait, the harder it will get. Also, the more you wait, the more likely you are to over think things and it will cause a panic - something your beautiful self doesn't need. :)

If you think your family will be okay with your bisexuality, then again, take your time. If you think they will not be accepting of it, then expect the worst. That way, if you get the worst then that's what you'll get, but if it's slightly better then it's more of a relief. 

 

Now, time for actually telling them. Start with someone you feel would be more accepting. If you have a sibling that you're close to then choose them. The first family member I came out to was my sister. If you don't have any siblings, then pick a family member that you have a really good relationship with - it could be your mum, dad, aunt, whoever.

Find a time when they're not busy so neither you nor them have to rush. Find a comfy place to sit like on a couch (sofa?) or around a dining room table. Maybe have some cookies and milk or other comfort foods. ^-^

Try and ease into it. Don't start with an off-topic conversation because then your family member might take the conversation in the opposite direction. Try these lame but proven sentence starters:

"[Insert name], there's something I need to tell you..."

"I've been feeling different and I finally know why..."

Or perhaps your could come up with one on your own... :)

 

Dealing with the response:

Are they accepting? Then congrats!

Are they half and half? Just assure them that you're still the same person, offer some cookies and then go clean something for your family member (like the living room, toilet, bathroom, or maybe cook dinner).

Are they completely not accepting? Do the same as half and half, but then give them some space. They may need time to calm down. If it's so bad that they'd kick you out, call a friend and wait a day or two before talking to your family member again.

 

Repeat until you've told all your family. If you're feeling confident, you can also do this to larger groups (like in front of your mum and dad, for example).

 

I hope this helps!!

 

Love always,

Missy xxx

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