Ask Missy

Hi all, Missy here! I'm starting an advice column which will hopefully be able to benefit everyone. I will be answering all types of questions so please don't be shy and ask away! If you are satisfied with your care, please share this among your fellow Movellians so we can help a lot of people! Love always, Missy xxx


12. Rebecca Clearwater

Lately, one of my beast friends has been really insensitive and mean to me. And, right now, I've realised how needy, manipulative and b*tchy she can be.

And it only seems to be me.

She's lovely, but... She always wants to be the centre of attention! It has always has to be about her. She can be so petty- once she got water in her hair, and she BLAMED me, and didn't talk to me for almost a day.

And yet my other friends don't seem to call it out. It's like she's only mean to me.

I don't want to lose my other friends but...

I just don't know.


-Rebecca Clearwater



First of all: D: D: D:

I am so so sorry this has taken so long to reply to!! I've been trying to come up with a solution that will help you. I've been in this situation before and I handled it badly, and things in my life went horribly wrong and it was just awful. I didn't want the same thing happening to you.

I thought I'd first start off by saying what I did and what went wrong, so you know what not to do. Then I'll say what I think can work better, and you can always tailor the advice to what you think works best. I really hope it's not to late to answer this.


What I did:


I had a best friend and an ex boyfriend. My best friend knew how much I missed him, but after a while we grew apart and she ended up dating him. She started spreading rumors about me, and when I tried to confront her about it she wouldn't talk to me. Everyone around (we shared the same friends) believed her and nobody believed me.

I distanced myself from everyone, ate alone at lunch times, and if any one of my previous friends tried to approach me I was nasty to them. I would tell them to leave me alone, and that I wasn't going to talk to them because no matter what I said, I knew they wouldn't believe me. After a while I fell into a deep depression because I was so lonely and had no one to talk to. I went from being fairly popular in my circle of friends to a self-inflicted outcast. In hindsight it wasn't the greatest way to handle things.


My advice now:


Don't do any of the above XD

Start out with simple things. If she blames you for something that's not your fault, remain calm and say "That's not fair", and explain why. If she always has to be the centre of attention, start by subtly directing the attention to someone else that is neither her nor you. If she starts talking about herself too much, start saying "Hey [insert name that's not her], how's your day been?" or something like that to draw the attention away from her. It'll keep the attention off her so she doesn't go on and on and on...

The reason I say direct the attention to someone else that's not you is because that way she can't accuse YOU of always wanting to be the centre of attention. Hopefully your friends will start to notice that you're paying more attention to them than she is.

When she's being petty, kill her with kindness. Gently tell her that there are some things that she just shouldn't worry about, and if it's things like getting her hair wet, take her to the bathroom to help her dry it while saying things like "It's just some wet hair. We'll get it dry in no time!" 

^Okay, now that sounds cheesy but I think you can get the point XD


As for your other friends...just stick by them and give them time. My ex boyfriend that I talked about earlier? He soon realised how much of a b*tch my ex best friend was. We both apologised for the way we acted, and now my ex boyfriend and I are pretty good friends again. Your friends will come around eventually :)


Again, I am so so so sorry that this has taken a long time for you to get a reply! I hope it's not to late, and I hope the advice works alright for you.


Love always,

Missy xxx

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