I was laying in the bathroom with a huge cut in my wrist. The only way I could fix it was if I killed myself so that was what I was doing. "Chantelle are you in there?" I heard Justin's voice, "I know how you wanna fix this and it ain't gonna fix anything!" "Justin" I said as loud as I could which only was a whisper. My body was weak. Suddenly the door flew open and I saw Justin in the door frame on he edge to tears. "This isn't gonna fix anything Chantelle and you know" he said as a tear made its way down his cheek, "do you really wanna die?" I shook my head. I didn't wanna die but I also didn't want the voice inside of my head. "I love you Chantelle hold on to that.. Don't ever forget that" he sniffled and he pecked my cheek. I nodded. He pulled out his phone and called someone. "Are you my girlfriend?" he asked. I just nodded and couldn't help but smile a bit.
"My girlfriend just cut herself and she's bleeding.. There's blood everywhere.. Please help" he explained as he stroked my cheek gently. He gave them the address and about 10 minutes later I heard an ambulance outside. Justin was pressing some clothing onto my cuts preventing it from bleeding even more.
"She has this voice inside of her head and it's telling her all kinds of stuff and saying bad things about her all the time.. It's the one who made her do this" I explained to the doctor. "Okay, she should see a shrink" he said. "How is she?" I asked worriedly. I was really worried about her. She had lost a lot of blood.
"Well she has lost a lot of blood but she'll be okay eventually.. But mentally she's not well" he said looking at her. I looked down, "will she be okay?" "She will.. With time.. She just needs someone stabile around her and she has to stay at a mental hospital for a while.. But eventually she'll be fine" he explained smiling bit, "I hope so.. I cannot promise you anything and you know that but I think she will.." "I was down like that some years ago but I got back on track without any shrink" I told him, "why is that?" He shrugged, "I don't know.. Because someone helped you before it got worse I guess." I nodded. "But I can't help her?" He shook his head, "I'm afraid not.. I'm sure you did your best but where she is right now is hard to handle by yourself." "Okay thank you doctor" I smiled at him, "can I please stay here a little longer?" "Actually you can't" he sighed, "but I'll let you stay a couple more minutes.." "Thank you so much" I smiled grateful and sat down beside the bed and looked at her. She was awake. She had been the whole time.
"I love you Chantelle" I whispered as a tear fell down my cheek, "I'm so sorry for what happened.. I never meant to do this to you." "It's not all your fault Justin" she mumbled, "and you know that.." I nodded looking at her. I repeated my sentence from earlier, "I love you Chantelle hold on to that... Don't ever forget that." She nodded, "I won't." "Don't ever forget that.. No matter what happens don't ever forget that" I gently stroked her cheek looking into her lackluster eyes. They were still perfectly brown and her eyebrows were round and soft like always. Her lips were full and perfect. Her skin was flawless, still tan but it had fainted a bit. Her spark was gone and she was looking sad and sick.
"I won't Justin" she tried smiling. I slowly took some of her soft brown hair behind her ear and pecked her cheek, "don't forget baby... Don't forget what we had.. Don't forget all the good times and the times we smiled and were happy.. All the happy times.. Don't forget.." I felt like I was saying goodbye to her. Like this was the last time I saw her.
"It's not goodbye Justin" she whispered, "it's a see you soon.." A tear fell down my cheek as I smiled a bit nodding. Then I kissed her one last time. "It is, my beautiful, perfect, wonderful, sexy, stunning and absolutely gorgeous princess." "I love you" I whispered as I walked away. I knife cut through my heart and I left the hospital in tears. I wasn't gonna see her again. That way was the best. For both of us. She was in pain and could move on and I could move on. The thing we had wasn't good for any of us.