"I'm gonna make some food do you have any food?" he asked looking at me. I thought for a minute, "I have no idea.. What about pizza?" "I'm gonna make some food you can't help but eat" he smiled, "we're going to the grocery store." "Do I really have to go?" I looked at him. He nodded, "yeah." I really didn't want to. Everybody would be looking at me thinking that I was fat and ugly. "I know you don't want to beautiful but it'll be fun" he smiled and got up. Fortunately we did get our underpants on before we stood up. "Okay now get dressed up babe" he and went to the bathroom to do his hair. I looked at the mirror but then turned around. I looked awful. Like how could he look at me without puking. "Let me do it for you" I heard his voice. I looked at him feeling my lips form a smile. Without I controlled it. It just came. Amazing. "Brush hair? And please don't say makeup" he chuckled. "If you can brush my hair and put it into a bun.. And then just brush my eyelashes and just put the mascara brush under my top eyelashes then I'll blink and that'll be fine I think" I explained. "I'll try" he pecked my lips.
Everybody was looking at me. Everybody was thinking that I was ugly. It was so uncomfortable. "Right now sweetie.. You're rocking on the bottom with your self esteem.. It'll be better" he smiled, "I promise Chantelle." "Really?" I looked at him. He nodded and kissed my cheek, "I promise you.. Remember I've been through the same thing beautiful." I heard a voice saying that I should not believe him he was lying. He only said this because he didn't wanna listen to my complaining he actually didn't care. He just cared about- "don' let them in sweetie" I heard him sing then he looked at me. I smiled a little smile, "I know." "It's hard I know" he said and kept asking me about all kinds of stuff except the ones that actually were the problem and it was nice.
"What do you like to do?" he asked me as he was making the food. I shrugged, "I don't know.. I don't have any hobbies anymore." "C'mon" he smiled, "you gotta have some!" "I loved singing and playing basketball because it took my mind of things" I mumbled and looked at him. "Me too actually.. When I was a little kid I used to drum on the floor using pens and I sang the alphabet song and so on.. I also played the guitar.. So I kinda learned to do all that by myself" he told me. "Kidding me?" I exclaimed, "you're a genius!" "Maybe" he teased, "I've actually also written some songs." "You gotta show them to me someday" I said, "I just sang in my room.. My mom and dad would tell me to shut up.." "They're assholes" he said, "remember that.. Remember that when they want you back someday.." I looked down. "Anyways dinner is done soon" he smiled, "why don't you put some plates on the table and so on."
As I put the plates and glass on the table I thought about how much he actually helped just today. He made me think of something else. Maybe it wasn't that bad. Maybe I just needed someone. The voice has to ruin of cause. It told me that I was just being naiv, thinking that he actually could help me and actually wanted to help me.
"Don't let them in Chantelle" he said, "they're lying." I took a deep breath in. They were lying. It wasn't true. I mentally told them to go away, it didn't quite work.
I looked down in my food without eating anything. The voice told me that if I ate just one bite I would die because he poisoned it. If he didn't I would get fat.
"What's wrong?" he asked, "why aren't you eating?" "I'm not hungry" I looked into his eyes. "I know you're lying" he sighed, "what will happen if you eat it?" "Nothing" I lied, "I just don't feel like eating right now." "What will happen if you eat it? What does your voice say tell you?" he asked. "Nothing" I exclaimed, "I'm just not hungry." "What does it tell you Chantelle?" he tried again. I got annoyed by him. "'Nothing okay!" I said annoyed. "What does it tell you?" "I'll die" I shouted, "because you poisoned it.. If I take one bite I'll die." "See that's a lie" he said calm, "that voice is doing nothing but keeping you from everything that is good for you.. Listen if you wanna get better you eat.. Or at least just take one bite so you can see that your voice is lying." I was very stubborn so all he had to do was this. "I bet you can't.. You don't dare to do it.. Do you?" he said. I raised an eyebrow, "I can I just don't want to." The voice told me to let it go. He only wanted me to eat so I could die.
"Show me.. I don't believe you" he nodded towards the food. I got annoyed and grabbed the fork. "I can do it!" "Show me" he said and crossed his arms over his chest. He watched every move I did. I took some of food on my fork and took a deep breath in. My voice kept telling me no but something inside of me knew that it was a lie. With shaky hands I slowly put the fork into my mouth and chewed it. It teased amazing. I waited a few minutes to see if I actually died and I didn't. I had won over the voice. Then it went crazy telling me that I was the biggest fool in the world that I was so ugly that he secretly threw arrows after my face.
"See I didn't poison it" he smiled, "you won." "I won" I smiled back, "thank you." "And now when you've done that it'll just get worse.. Right now it's really bad I bet.. But it'll be better every time you win it'll get better" he said. I nodded. It was saying all kinds of bad stuff and it really hurt me and made me feel worthless