We had gotten home from the hospital a few days ago and nothing felt the same anymore. The baby turned out to be a girl and a premature girl in fact. I was in the babies nursery watching her sleep peacefully and Calum was here aswell. The other had went out to god knows where.
"Calum, I don't know how to say this. I promised myself I would never say this let alone be like this. I just don't know. Calum, I don't want this kid." I told him choking on my words.
"What?" He asked worried.
"I don't know. It's just, I don't feel like she's mine. I don't feel connected to her, like she's my daughter. You have to take her. I'll still help take care of her and help out anytime you need me, call me an I'll be there but I just can't have her. You need to take her. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I cried and kissed the babies small forehead. I shook my head and walked out of the room.
I locked myself in my room and blasted "It ends tonight" By all american rejects. I buried my face into my pillows trying to drown out the crying and yelling when the door was kicked in. I shot up and looked at Ashton and Calum standing there.
"WHAT THE FUCK!!" I yelled at them. Calum ran over to me and hugged me. I pushed him off of me and Ashton walked over to us.
"Maria, I can't take the baby. I'm sorry but I can't." Calum said to me.
"Take that damn kid." I growled at him. he shook his head and ignored me.
"Matthew i already gone and I don't want another kid unless it comes from me and Ashton. That's it." I snapped at him.
"I'm not taking that baby." He said once again.
"Fine, leave her here. But don't think you will ever see her again." I snapped at him and he walked out.
I guess I knocked out after Calum had left because I woke up in the same clothes and I was starving. I got out of my bed and walked to the nursery and grabbed the little girl that was now slowly waking up. I walked into the bathroom and gave her bath and some fresh clothes.
I walked into the kitchen and sat her in the highchair. I feed her and she smiled. I quickly ate a bowl of cereal myself and grabbed my purse and keys. I buckled the baby into the car seat and drove off. When I got to where I needed to be I got the baby and I walked inside the building.
"Good Morning ma'am. How may I help you?" THe lady at the counter asked.
"I have an appointment with miss meyers." I smiled and she nodded. She pointed me in the right direction and went back to clicking on the keyboard.
I walked through the door and sat down.
"Goodmorning Ms. Rodriguez, This is her?" She asked
"Yes, ma'am it is." I nodded.
"She's beautiful. Now fill out this paperwork and you'll be finished." She smiled at e and handed me a clipboard. It took about and hour but I filled it all out. I handed it slowly back to her and she nodded.
"Oh, Would you like it to be a closed or open adoption file." She asked.
I looked over to the little girl now crying. I but back tears and looked back at Miss meyers.
"Leave it open." I mumbled and walked out and back to my car. I sat behind the wheel and sighed.
"I'm so sorry." I whispered to myself and started the car.
I felt relaxed but somehow still worried. I sat in a hot bath and listened to soft music playing. The music stopped as my phone began to ring. Ashton.
A- Hey babe
A- I was thinking maybe you come by my place and we watch some movies
M- I can't. Not tonight
A- Then maybe I can come by yours and
M- No Ashton, Not tonight
A- Okay, well maybe time then. Goodnight Maria
M- Goodnight Ashton
I hung up the phone and the music began playing music again. I took a deep breath and laied my head aginst the tub.
"Maria, Love. Maria, Are you alive." I heard a voice whisper and tap my arm.
"No." I groaned and rolled back over. But I wasn't in my bed. I was still in the bath. I shot up and cover my chest. I looked over to see Calum staring at me.
"Oh it's just you." I said and got out of the bath. I wrapped a towel around myself and walked into my room while he followed.
"What do you want Calum." I asked
"I came to see my daughter. But she's not there." He said
"I told you if you left her here you'd never see her again. I stuck to that promise Calum." I told him dropping the towel. He stared at my body.
"Had enough." I snapped.
"Where is she?" He asked
"Don't do this calum. You know you don't want to do this." I whispered and walked to him closing the door with him against it. I smiled and kissed him.
"Where is she?" He asked again. I slid his shirt off and kissed down his chest. His breath shook. I unbuttoned his jeans and slid them off.