Here I am, sitting with your jacket, with your beanie. I would wear this to school all the time. Never would there ever be a day when I wouldn't wear it. It's special, this is all I have left of you... It may seem weird to the others that I'm wearing the clothes you died in.
Nah, they can go fuck themselves. I want to die in your clothes. It's just like dying with you. I'd die perfectly. But now I just die with a piece of you.
A few days ago I broke down. My everything just broke. And that's when I realized.
I am never, ever, going to see you again.
I should've been the best to you those days. I wish I was with you every second of the day. Just me and you, you were my only escape. You didn't care I was doing all this stuff to my body. You loved me for me. And I'm never going to find someone exactly like you.
And that hurts me.
I visit your grave everyday. Talking to you. Even though you can't hear me, I tell you our past memories. Today I told you the one were we ran away from the police for graffiti. Gay is fucking love. They painted over it a weeks ago. I used to visit it every day also. When I found out they painted over it a few weeks ago I sobbed on the ground. Touching the wall, that was our memory. Completely gone just like that. I wish we were the last people on earth. Just me and you forever. We'd never die,
wouldn't you just get bored of living forever with the same person? Every hour? Every minute? Every second? No, there would never be a millisecond where I'd regret being with you.
I really miss you. I want you back so bad
But things are never like that. Everything fucked up. Now I'm here sobbing my eyes out remembering all of this. I'm so fucking stupid.
There's people surrounding me at the moment. Some are asking if I'm okay. I just nod, and they excuse themselves.
I'm so afraid. I'm shaking, Sobbing, Everything. I'm just so broken. Why are you gone? I miss you so god damn much. I just want another glimpse of your face just once? That's not much to ask. I just need to see you again. But I can't. I can't get it in my head that your gone forever and I'm an never going to see you again. I won't let myself believe that. I just can't.
I was you back so bad. But I just can't. And that's why I need to die.