I remember the day I met you.
You saved me.
Though I wish you wouldn't.
I hated those moments
I stood at the end of the building closing my eyes.
I looked back to my old memories
The good ones
When I played outside with my friends
It almost made not want to jump.
But there it was,
The reasons why I decided to jump.
I couldn't take it anymore.
I heard footsteps but quickly forgot about it thinking it was just my imagination
"Stop!" Someone yelled out at me.
I quickly tried to prepare myself not wanting to stop.
I felt someone carry me over to the middle of the roof.
I gasped for a breath because of how tight he held me. I sobbed in my hands. "Why did you do that!" I yelled at the top of my lungs "do you realize what you just did!" I yelled again loud enough for the whole town to hear. "Let me die! Why do people like you always show up at the wrong times!" I yelled straight at him with tears running down my face. He quickly embraced me. "No, no, no, no! Let me go I need to jump I'm so done right now!" I said trying to take a final breath.
I got out of his reach and tried to run to the edge. Though I was not fast enough for him to quickly grab me again leading me down stairs. "I hate you why would you ever do that!" I yelled hitting the door trying to get back to the roof but it was no use. He locked the door.
I slid down the door and sobbed in my knees. It felt like a water fall. The man tried to comfort me though I would slap his hand out. I quickly remembered what I had in my pocked.
If I couldn't jump I would have to cut a vein. I quickly stood up and reached my back pocked trying to grab the blade but missing it every time making it cut through my fingers. I finally got it out and tried to breath I got my wrist but as soon and I was about to the man reached for it and snatched it. "No!" He yelled "why would you ever want to kill yourself!" He yelled back again.
"I hate you! I hate you!" I said sobbing not being able to breath "leave me alone go away I hate you so fucking much why would you ever want to stop me I hate my life I want to let it go I don't do anything why do I live I don't eat, I don't talk to anyone, I don't leave my room! Why!" I yelled banging on the door "go away!"
"Please stop." He said with fright in his eyes he tried to come over to me with his hand out.
I didn't do anything but sob in my arms and try to breath.
"Hey, it's alright." He said trying to comfort me rubbing my back. "Here, so I don't seem like a complete stranger to you I'll tell you my name,"
Now you're gone.
All because of me.
You went to go get snacks because I was hungry.
So you drove off the the store. But you crashed. You hit your head hard enough to damage your brain.
You and the guy.
I was hungry and I wanted to eat. You were the reason I ate. Look at me now. I don't eat anything but half an apple every once a week. You made me happy.
I fucking hate it now.
I've tried everything now.
My mom simply caught me every time and sent me to my room to relax. How was I supposed to relax.
I remember every time I would say bullshit in front of you, you would simply make a joke saying that bull poop isn't 'cool' I never found it funny but I would laugh anyways because that would make you smile.
And I lived for that smile on you're face.
I victimize myself for the cause of your death. I wanted food and you went out to get it. I told you many times no don't go. I told you that I wanted to kill myself so I could finally see my sorcery of happiness. Though I thought. I bet if I died I would never see them. My grandparents. They were like my second parents. Though I've never had a dad. My grandpa would always be my dad.
I told you the story of them. They passed back when I was 12. That's when I became suicidal.
People would always sneer at me. I was simply a toy to their figure. They sneered rude to stuff to me. Just because I was a smaller figure than everyone else. They would always tell me "I've got a dad haha!" It would simply make everyone's eyes burn at me front, back, sides. It would build up my anxiety. Though they wouldn't care at all.
I would hold my books tightly against me thinking I had something to protect me. But then you came along. We both apparently went to the same school but we had no classes together. You would always protect me. You got suspended for me. you would tell me "take the chances, don't me a wimp, you're gonna die one day and it won't matter at all. Fuck the rules man. They just plain out ruin our lives. How do we live when were forced under a law?"
I miss you're voice. Like any other person I always listen to it through a robotic touch screen that makes it sound like a completely different person. I just want the real Harry. How though? Killing myself? No one knows that if you die you'll truly see the people you miss.
It happens all the time in movies. A certain person goes into coma and they can talk to people without them being able to see/hear them. How is that possible? Some people daze off and not realize there's other planets with no living things. Let alone believe that we can meet the dead once we are dead.
I don't even believe in god. If he's real, he can go fuck himself. I hate that man. If he's even a slight close to real. He's the reason your dead. He's the reason my life in ruined. He never gave satan a try. That poor man just wanted to prove that other things can happen and the center of attention can't be on a particular person.
If I had to support one I'd go with satan, we both went through the same things. We tried to fit in but we just get tossed out like trash.
People always say "no ones perfect." But they never got a slight change to meet you. The way the curls on your hair tickled me when we cuddled or kissed. Your hypnotizing green eyes. That smirk you gave me. And your deep accent. You were perfect...
It's fun copying and pasting a whole chapter but then I hate editing it.
But yeah :)