the touch of a reborn holy

a Christmas poem for the competition.


1. "the touch of a reborn holy."

three years since you left me alone 
on the eve of Christmas Day
i found myself walking outside 
as the wind showed me the way. 
the snow was heavy, thick like honey 
it was difficult to walk 
and i tripped, numerous times 
my skin pallor as that of chalk. 
yet i pushed on, shivering in my coat 
shutting my eyes closed 
and when i couldn't go on anymore 
i opened my lids and became reposed.

i was standing in the snow 
surrounded by a shining light 
in the middle of the meadow 
you and i would go each night. 
the sky was raven ebony
and even though i felt it late 
i didn't have a premonition 
for i knew you were standing slate. 
i called your name out, desperate 
once, twice, and then a third
i couldn't help but start to cry 
because i wanted to be heard. 
yet before i could turn away 
i felt a hand caress my skin 
and you were there, touching me 
washing me of all my sins. 
as you stood before me 
the loving grace of a reborn holy 
all i could do was close my eyes 
and shakily whisper, "hold me." 

it was the first time you grazed me 
ever since you died 
and as i enveloped in your arms 
i felt the sadness your skin belied. 
i just knew this wouldn't last 
that you were an illusion or a miracle
and because of that, i continued to cry 
in the light of a Christmas spiritual
your touch alighted all my skin 
a gift that made me shine 
and as you said it was time to part
i knew you would leave me behind. 
i asked you to take me with you 
but not to be in the heavens;
i asked you because i would bow to the Tempter  to only be within your loving presence 
but you smiled, a longing one 
and gave a shake of your head no 
before you kissed me on my lips
you said you had to go.
the pressure of your mouth on mine
brought me a feeling i can't quite describe 
a feeling that said we were together again 
that you were alive and by my side. 
you began to fade 
like my hopes of you remaining 
you told me you were tired 
that this experience was draining 
as i begged for you to stay, 
as you drifted up unto the moon, 
you told me something that gave me hope: 
you said you'd see me soon. 

i was not a man of god 
and i will not ever be 
because how could such a "loving" god 
steal you away from me? 
but something happened on that night 
on the eve of Christmas Day 
and as i slowly made my way back home 
i knew you showed me the way. 

you come back from the light of heaven
one year later: Christmas Eve 
you search the earthen planet 
for something you need to retrieve 
and that is where you find me 
on my kitchen floor 
sick in my young heart; 
long for you have i implored. 
you take my hand and smile 
though i can see pain in your eyes 
it is hurting you to watch
your beloved one's demise. 
"you came back," i croak, 
readying to die 
as you touch my hand, you whisper,
"have i ever lied?" 
and i allow my eyes to shut 
filled with love that can't askew
you take in your hands my soul and i am finally with you. 

four years since you left me alone 
on the eve of Christmas Day 
you and i forever collide 
and will never again be split away.  

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