Thinking out loud

Ashton is falling in love. With who bet you couldn't guess? Luke is in love with Melanie. Michael has been dating Ash for 3 years. Cal has chose to stay single with a friend with benefits,Stella

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51. Melanie's pov

I've been so lost for words lately, it's crazy to think all this is my fault. I'm pregnant with twins, cancelled a concert cause my ex tried to commit suicide and my best friend is ignoring me. Ashton has been up with Luke so much it's not funny, Michael keeps his distance and Calum an is mad at me. Ash is gone and Syd left with Andrew, why does this all happen at once?   "Do you have time to talk?" I walked into Ashton's room laying beside him. He turned away from me and rolled out of bed.   "I think it's time you just go talk to Luke, he doesn't remember anything and now is the time you get to explain and apologize." Ashton was so stern it brought me back to when he would beat me.   "Um alright.." I got up and walked out and right in to Luke's room.   "Hi Luke.."    "Hey Mel!" He seemed so excited to see me little to know I'm the reason he is in this position.   "It's time we talk and you remember all this stuff."   "Please don't break up with me because I'm sick, I'll be better I promise. The doctor promised I'll remember what happened soon." He was worse then what I thought.    "Listen Luke.. We've been broken up for a few months now, what happened to you was you were depressed. You started working out a lot and I started making a on going mistake." I put my head down wiping a tear.   "What is this mistake, I'll be okay with it. I will always love you, never hate you. I'll hate the decision you made." He grabbed my hand.   "Listen, we broke I started having sex with Michael and then I slept with you. Now I'm pregnant with twins, when I told everyone you ran out and the next thing I heard about you was that you tried suicide and you were in the hospital. I love you and always will but I can't come back to you when I have to kids." I pulled my hand away and wiped the tears flowing down my face.   "I remember, you ruined me. I didn't need you but I wanted you and I thought the only way away was death. I don't need you, I really don't, but I want you. I moved on too, where is Maddox?" He turned his head away from me an I just stood crying.    "She didn't come. Calum texted her but she never came." I broke down and wrapped my arms around him trying to remember the feeling of when he loved me.    "Get out! I want to be alone!" I turned around and walked out shutting his door behind me.    "Did you do it?" Ashton stopped me, one hand on my boob one hand on his hip.    "Yeah, let me go." I moved his hand wiped my tear and ran down stairs. I looked everywhere for Michael but he was no where to be found.  Me- Michael where are you   Michael- I went to the store what's up  Me- I just need to talk to you, like asap :(  Michael- I'll be right there babe.  Michael hasn't called me babe it even though about my needs since Luke went to the hospital, why does he care now. About ten minutes later he came in running with bags in each hand. Dropping them done he gave me a hug kissed me and told me to speak.    "We need to abort the kids." Tears rolled down my fast but I didn't have a better way of saying it.    "What! No! I thought about it, I'm ready to support the family it might be rough but it's ours." He looked me deep in the eyes wiping my tears as they fell.    "No, they won't live a good life. We do to much, your band will fall apart if the fans find out your a dad. We had to take a hospital an hour away so fans didn't ask questions. They won't be happy kids they won't fit in here."    "We can move out, start a proper family. You can be a stay at home mom and I can do my concerts and practices and come home. " Michael was so determined to be a dad.   "Babies are a lot of money, and we will have two. I can't stay home, we need the money. I have to find a babysitter an be able to pay them. It's to much." I cried falling into his arms, he rubbed my head as I hugged him tight.    "Let's go out to dinner tonight, get pretty and go out fancy. I'll plan it just go get ready. You can ever wear your favorite dress since your still small." Michael pulled me back and sent me upstairs, I walked upstairs and started the shower. I can't abort to beautiful babies but I can't keep them. It's so hard being a mom, and  I'm not even a full blown mom yet.      
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