Anxiety. Something that either something very little in your life, or one of the main obstacle in your life. It can easily control your life. It makes you constantly live in fear and sorrow. Anxiety is a serious topic. People need to pay more attention to it. So many people suffer from all kinds of Anxiety disorders. It’s okay. I’m one of those people. You have to constantly do something to keep stuff off of your mind. As soon as you stop doing things, boom! It smacks your right in the face, and there is no stopping it.
I suffer with panic attacks, many people with anxiety do. The worst feeling is when you’re in public and you’re trying to hold it back when you know you can’t stop it. It’s embarrassing. People will stare at you. You feel so vulnerable and that everyone is judging you. Shaking starts to happen, then tears show up. Nothing really helps you calm down. Hopelessness takes over your body. You feel so small compared to everything else. Like you’re going to get stomped on. It’s horrible.
People think you’re so weak after you have a panic attack, but in reality it takes all your strength just to get out of the bed in the morning. They always say “stop worrying. You’re just freaking yourself out”. We can’t help it. It seems like they get mad or irritated with you because you’re having a problem. People then leave. They just ditch you. It makes you feel like shit, but you know you can’t help it. It’s not something that’s always controllable, and I wish more people understood that,
Anxiety is very hard for people that have it to talk about it. It hurts. They remember everything and then sadness hits them. It’s so hard to look back at it and just remember how you fell apart and how it felt. You have to be so strong to talk about it. Even me personally, I have talked and opened up about so many other difficult things like depression, self-harm, rape. Even after all of that, here I am talking about anxiety on the verge of tears.
Anxiety is also something you might not even be born with. Sometimes it appears randomly, or after a traumatic event. Mine, came after an event. I use to get bullied but it was never physical, that’s until I moved. Bullying got physical and I lived in fear. That’s how my anxiety started. Even now when I don’t get bullied, it’s still here. I highly doubt it will go away for me. I’ll just have to be strong.
When you know someone with anxiety, never push them to do anything. I know you might be just trying to help them get over their fears, but that’s the last thing you want to do. It makes that person feel more anxious, overwhelmed, and smaller than they already felt.
If you think you may suffer from anxiety, PLEASE reach out to an adult. I know it’s scary, I’ve been there. However, they can get you the help you need. This is something that you can’t handle by yourself. It will eat you alive. If you take medicine for anxiety, don’t be ashamed. I do too. There are so many people in the world have to too. You’re not alone in this.
Do what you can. Your story is not over. You’re not everything you think. You are beautiful, wanted, smart etc., don’t let your mind take that away from you. Something good will come out of this. There is not walking out of anxiety, you just have to charge through it and keep moving forward. Do not be afraid is written in the bible 365 times. That’s a reminder from god to live every day.