If mum didn't love Andrew as much as I knew she did,
I wouldn't be doing the things I do for him.
I wouldn't be keeping my cool the way I am,
and I certainly wouldn't be trying to squeeze into a tight dress corset for a party full of rich pretenders.
"you look great" my mom says after managing to tie the last string of the corset up.
"I can't breathe" I huffed, glaring into the full body mirror in front of me.
"well beauty comes with a price" she laughs out, fixing her hair in the mirror just above my dresser.
"is the price death from loss of oxygen" I sighed out, patting down the bottom of my dress that had hiked up a little from the struggle.
she glared playfully at me through the mirror before walking towards me and fixing a stray piece of my hair.
"I know you don't like to do this stuff Bella, but it really does mean a great deal to Andrew" she sighed out setting her chin on my shoulder.
I let out a breathe dropping my gaze down towards my feet,
everything we ever do anymore seems to be for Andrew,
I feel as if I've lost myself pretending to be somebody for someone else.
"this isn't me mum, and I don't think it ever will be" I finally said closing my eyes for a brief moment, before opening them again.
I felt her chin leave my shoulder, taking the warmness along with it.
"I know Bella, just for tonight" she said softly, sending me a sad smile through the mirror before she left quietly, leaving me standing in front of the mirror, to gaze at myself.
"just for tonight" I softly said to myself, before standing up a little straighter, and pulling my hair to rest over my chest.
walking towards my dresser, and grasped the cold piece of metal that had been laying beside my jewellery box in my hand.
slowly and steadily clipping it behind my neck before letting it fall down the trail of my breasts and be hidden inside my corset.
it was my dads necklace,
my real dads.
he had given it to me for my 10th birthday as a parting present when he had gone on a one year tour with his band,
I was 12 when I realized he wasn't coming back,
and I was 13 when my mom finally told me had died in a car accident passing through San Diego.
it was nothing really special, just a silver chain with a little silver guitar pendent on it.
I let out a shaky breathe at the memory rerun,
it hurts a little less every time I think of him.
shaking my head from the saddening thoughts, I checked my appearance one more time.
I gripped the nob of the door and opened it, before slowly making my way towards the main hall.
just for tonight,
but just for tonight.