Three month had passed hasn't it? I've been staying at this ship feeling my weakness. Nobody knows about it for I was trying my best to hide such ail. I'm really near to my point now. I could feel it's getting worst each days I wake up. It's getting hard for me to walk, but I hold myself together. What makes me smile now is those crew and captain. They're my happiness.
Two days passed and my sight's getting playful. Suddenly turning gray and sometimes it turns black, but somehow it returns back again.
Another morning started and I suddenly catch cold and started to cough blood. I locked the door and let no one enter. I could hear them all knock but I didn't respond. Captain also started to shout out at me, but I remained quiet hoping that he'll leave, but he suddenly destroyed the door and looked at me.
I sat up and looked at him blankly. "Do you really intent to lock yourself? Don't make us worry and come out of here." he said.
He went near me and pulled my hand. I stood and suddenly coughed blood again, I covered my mouth and as I took out a piece of cloth and wiped the blood. Captain looked at me with a strange look, but then, his face soften and hugged me. "Once we reach the south, you will completely be healed. There is a place there where you can heal everything with a miraculous water." he whispered.
"Don't pity me. I need it not." I just said coldly.
"But I can't stop from seeing you like that." The captain lowered his voice as he let me go.
"Then I will not entertain." I really want to die now, I'm losing strength and so I want to rest any moment now.
"What do you want to do then? Die alone in this dark room? I thought you wanted to see the world outside? did I really brought a loser unto my ship? Go on, answer me!"
Oh boy, captain's right. So... I just didn't answer and went out to the deck. I watched the waving ocean as it slaps the ship over and over. I want to sing, possible I want to sing with the mermaids that swims around the ship waving a hand at me and so I smiled and wave a hand to.
The birds fly gracefully dancing out the summer sun. This is my dream, yet I made it go to waste because of my own selfishness.