There is two weeks left in the tour. I really want to get home right now. The boys have lost their energy and the days are getting slower. It feels like we are thousands of miles away when we are right next to each other. Ashton and I have had one other encounter, but nothing happened because Calum walked in.
Lately I have been a restless sleeper. I've been getting more hate then ever from the fans and it is putting me under stress. There are so many pictures of Ash and I out in public where I am holding his hand or I'm on his back. The fans hate me for stealing away one of the members, even though we aren't dating. It's gotten to the point where I'm getting nightmares and 6 to 7 hours of sleep is a lot. I see the knives everyday and each day it's harder to walk away from them. Depression is falling on me harder everyday. But I still wear a smile. Always smile.
"Camry!" Ashton is snapping his fingers in front of my face. My eyes are barely open and I stare at him blankly.
"Sorry." I'm in the corner of my bed with my knees pulled up close to my chest with my arms wrapped around them tightly.
"I got out of bed and you were sitting here staring at the wall rocking back and forth. Are you okay?" He looks concerned. I nod my head and stretch out. I don't even think I slept at all last night. To many nightmares. I crawl out of bed and fall as soon as my feet touch the floor.
"Camry! Camry?" I hear Ashton's voice and soon everything trails off into darkness.
I just want this to be over.