Luke took me around the hospitable, but in all honesty I was not feeling any better than before. I guess you can say I am faking it for him. The being happy part , I meant the fighting for our love part. Soon enough midnight was strolling in and he had to leave. I was left in my room all alone. The lights were turned out and I was tucked away. However I could not sleep. I was wide awake for hours to come. When morning came I probably had bags under my eyes , but tofay I was going home.
My aunt came with some spare clothes. I got changed into them and they we walked down to check out. When We entered her car all the boys were there. Luke was directly behind me. While all the boys started to yik yak I slid my hand behind the small space between our seats and held his hand. He squeezed mine tight . I talked aittle back to each boy, but not by much. They seemed to understand and kept telling me about Michaels new tattoo and his hair color. When we went back to my aunts place she said she was making lunch. We decided ,more like Ashton dragging us all, to watch a movie. All the boys sat down and I sat at the end with Luke and rested my head on his chest. his arms embraced me as we watched.
When my aunt was done we all sat around the table to see a hamburger and french fries. We digged in and ate. Everyone was talking and even I laughed a few times , but because I had to in a way. When we were all done I decided to go to bed. I said bye to the boys but held on to luke as a pled to come sleep with me. He then came with me and we cuddled as I fell asleep. I actuallywas able to sleep. However the nightmares about Kyle and about just my whole life , my brother billy ,and my mom. It was horrible. I ended up waking uo trembling so bad I pushed past luke and went searching in my bathroom. I couldnt find my razors or anything Luke ended up embracing me and said ," Calm down ,,Its alright it was a dream okay its alright violet okay." I broke down crying and said ," Im sorry im sorry!" He rubbed my back as I lay into him and he said ," Its alright violet okay ."
After my little outbreak of sorts I had to take a prescription my doctore gave me and it makes things a little fuzzy. Its suppose to help with the urges and nightmars and so on. I felt depressed however when I take these do to the fact it makes things a little bit harder. I ended up going to bed again after Luke left. When I woke up and my aunt had stayed home from her job. I hated the fact I am practically being watched now. my aunt also signed me up for weekly visits to a therapist. My aunt all day as I waited for the boys to end school was watching my every move.it was a nightmare I caused my self, maybe if I had pushed deeper or spended less time prepareing for it.
When the boys showed up I was starbgly enough stuck at my house so we all sat outside. I picked at the grass as the boys wrestled around abit. Luke sat by me and said ," How you doing?l I looked at him and said ," I mean if the pills didn't mKe things fuzzy maybe I could actuLly do something but ya!" He sighed. At the end of the day the boys all said good bye squezzing me into a hug. I was not estatic to go to bed de to te fact today will be another sleepless night. Its hard to fall asleep when You know what you are going to face, which is your self. Its hard to escape yourself which is why it is basicy tearing me down on the inside.
A week passed by and im not doing better , My aunt figured out I could not sleep so the doctors gave me stronger prescription with made things even worse. The boys besides luke came by less and less because who wants to just stay in a house all day with a girl who tried and kill her self and is basically on house arrest. luke did make me feel much better when he was around. He would make me actually laugh and for moments only moments I would forget it all!
Sorry I haven't updated in a while but I been busy and had a bit of writers block with this. Thanks for waiting and reading. Please do check out my other books and comment what you think of this one. like ,favorite. Again thanks