Was I right to leave? I don't know... I mean, obviously Niall isn't for a relationship, right? How can you do things with your partner and not be ready for the consequence of what could happen? When you have sex, and you don't pull out or wear a condom or if you're not on the pill, chances are you're going to end up with a baby.
I thought that was a chance he was willing to take. I walked around the streets of New York, not sure where to go or who to turn to. I was crying because of the death of my best friend and I weaped at the thought of loosing Niall. My heart was hurting and so were my feet, I felt like I haven't eaten in days and then I remembered, I'm eating for two now. I looked around and seen a McDonald's on the street across from me. I waited until it was clear to go and I ran across, running inside the building just as it started to rain.
I looked back to see if Niall was running after me but I was disappointed to see nothing but strangers running to get out the rain. I looked at my phone as I sat down with my food by the window. I wanted Niall to come and find me, tell me that he's sorry and that he's so happy to be starting a family with me, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. Our lives were so different, always have been, always will be. He was a criminal that wasn't caught, working for a master mind brother that was a total asshole.
He could never give up his 'job' for a family, it's too dangerous and there's too much money involved for him to quit. I sighed, what was I thinking? Me starting a family with someone like him, and thinking he would be cool with it? I almost made myself laugh.
"I don't even know where to begin to look." I said to Harry as walked threw people.
"How could you even walk out on her like that?" He snapped, making the guilt in my stomach even worse.
"It's complicated.." I sighed.
"No mate-" he was about to say something else until Gemma grabbed the phone. "How long has it been since she ate?" She asked, I thought for a moment. "If you can't remember then she's somewhere with food, try like Starbucks or something." She said and hung up the phone. She was a smart thinker, I'll give her that.
I looked around and seen a Starbucks on the street I was currently standing on. I rushed over to it but couldn't see her, I wish I had my car, the rain is starting to get really cold. I looked around again and finally seen her sitting by the window at a McDonald's across the street. I ran over and opened the door, she didn't look behind her, only sipped from her straw and scrolled through something on her phone. I sighed, looking back at the door and wondering if I should just leave. I decided to just sit at the back and call Harry again, "I found her. What do I do?" I begged for advice.
"What do you want to do is the real question?" He stated.
"I want her, Harry. I love her, I'm in love with her..."
"Then what's stopping you?"
"I'm not ready for a baby." I said with confidence.
"This is something you knew could happen, this isn't just her doing, it's yours too. That baby is something you both created and you shouldn't have done what you did if you weren't ready to face the consequence." He growled, he was pissed. "I swear to God, Niall. Someone else could show her something so much better and chose to stay with you, she wants a family with you and she doesn't care what she has to do. If you walk away, I bet your white Irish ass that someone's going to come along and father that baby for you!"
"You think?" I asked, gnawing on my nails and staring at her wet curly waves. "Harry, I don't know how to handle this."
"No one knows how to handle a baby, Niall! Babies are no joke, but just think that your, possibly, little girl is growing inside the women you love. You don't think she's not freaking out? She's having a baby that might grow up without a dad, or at least it's real dad in the picture. Stop being so selfish!"
"Do I take her home and talk to her?"
"You do whatever you want to do." He sighed, clearly getting frustrated with me and hung up the phone, again. Him and his sister are so much alike it's scary.
Finally, I sucked up my fears and doubts and went over to her. I touched her shoulder and she nearly jumped out of her seat, once she seen it was me, though; that was a different story. She got up and tried to walk away, "no baby, wait." I whispered in a plea and she looked at me, waiting for me. "I'm sorry okay, I have doubts and fears about this but I know for a fact I'm so in love with you and I don't want to loose you. Not again, not ever!"
"I'm pregnant, Niall. I can't just get rid of it."
"Well I mean, you could-"
"You sick son of a bitch!" She screeched and slapped me.
"No, I wasn't telling you to!" I fought back. "I was only saying, I'm sorry it came off that way." I touched her arm and she gasped, she looked at me as if I'm some kind of a monster and that hurt me in more ways than one. "I'm sorry okay, I'm doubting myself." I finally admitted. "My dad wasn't the peachiest fellow around and I don't want to be like him.." My head hung low and she started to laugh. "Excuse me?" I asked, not understanding why she would be laughing.
"You, like your father? No, hunny. That was Jax, not you!" She hugged me, holding on to me like her life depended on it and kissed my chest. "Niall I love you with everything I have inside me, no pun intended.." That made me giggle.
We walked home after talking for a few hours in the restaurant, talking about money and housing, transportation and everything a baby is going to need. After we got home I watched her strip her wet clothes off, leaving herself in her panties and bra. It was then I realized how much I love this women, and once I seen her small bump starting to show, I realized how much I'm going to love that baby. "How far along are you?" I found myself asking her.
I saw a small smile form on her lips as she pulled one of my shirts over her head, taking her bra off and turning to face me fully. Her hands went on her stomach and I propped myself up on my elbow in our bed, watching her hands rub over her small, growing belly. "Almost 7 weeks." She smiled a full smile and I got up, slowly and sat on my knees at the end of the bed. I pulled her close to me and she smiled even wider, putting her hands on my shoulder. I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and she laid her forehead on mine, hands going to the back of neck and she kissed my nose.
I don't understand why, but I felt my hands gravitating towards her belly. My hands covered it and she put hers on top of mine, not taking eye contact away. "Think we'll be good parents?" I asked doubtfully.
She surprised me with her answer. "I don't think so, I know so."
And that was all I needed to fall asleep. I pulled her in the bed with me and spooned her from behind, kissing the back of her neck and whispering "I love you." To her before closing my eyes and getting the best sleep of my life.
It's been forever, I know. I had such bad writers block with this book omg. BUT NOW! I've got so many more ideas! Stay tuned! Xxbella