The light shining through the open window woke me up the next morning. I smiled automatically when I felt Luke's arms around me.
I opened my eyes and was greeted by a sleeping Luke.
My fingers slowly made their way to his face. I felt every surface on his face, knowing this would be the last time I would ever touch Luke Hemmings.
I slowly let the back of my finger run over his eyelids. The smooth skin that covered his sleeping eyes. The blue eyes that would haunt me for the rest of my life. His long, black eyelashes tickled my finger as I brushed them softly.
I moved down to his nose. feeling the soft curve of it. The way his nostrils flared slightly when he exhaled.
My open hand caressed his cheek, remembering when he so carefully caressed mine the night before. I ran my thumb over his cheekbone, feeling the way it defined his face so perfectly.
My fingers moved to where his ear attached to his head. I felt the curve of the cartilage, the way his ear was shaped.
I trailed my fingers gently across his jawline, stopping at his lips.
I felt his hot breath on my fingertips when he sighed deeply.
I could almost feel his lips on mine again. They were so soft and smooth I wanted to touch them all day. But I knew I couldn't.
I had to leave.
I carefully moved out of his arms, being sure not to wake him.
I stood there in front of him, my arms across my chest, watching him.
Why did I have to leave? Why couldn't I just wake him up and have him beg me not to go?
Because I'm not strong enough to witness his pain, it would break me. I would be more broken than I already am.
I finally retrieved my clothes on the floor and put them on.
I walked over to the slumbering Luke and placed my hand on his bare shoulder.
I leaned down and softly placed a bittersweet kiss on his lips.
He let out a quiet sigh when I moved away.
I took one last look at him before I closed his bedroom door behind me.
I breathed in a shaky breath and leaned the back of my head on his door, trying to hold it together. I stayed there with my hand on his knob and my head on his door until I heard another door at the end of the hall being opened.
I hurried down the hall, trying to be unseen. That didn't work out too well. I was on the top step when I was discovered.
"Lucy?" It was Luke's little sister, Bailey. She is 6.
"Oh, hey, what's up?" I tried to ask nonchalantly.
"Where are you going?"
"I have to go home." I shrugged, acting as normal as I could manage.
"Why? I don't wan't you to go," she held her blanket to her body.
"My mom needs help with something," Her face fell into one of sadness.
"But don't worry, Bails, I'll play with you again,"
I gulped. How could I know if I'd ever come back? I slowly nodded my head.
"Yay!" She squealed.
"Shh, Luke's still sleeping," I shushed her and we both listened for any signs of him being awake. We didn't hear anything.
I let out a breath of relief.
"Do you like Lukey?"
I almost choked.
"What do you mean?"
"You come over a lot,"
That would be changing real soon.
"Well, yeah, Luke is my best friend,"
"But you're sad now. Did you fight?" She asked innocently.
"No, I just get sad sometimes when I leave Luke,"
Like right now. Because I'd probably never see him again.
"Why are you leaving then?"
That question almost made my heart break. Why was I leaving?
"Because my mom needs me, remember?"
That wasn't a lie. My mother got a new job and she needed me there with her, she wasn't exactly the most independent woman.
"Oh, yeah. Well, bye," she gave me a small wave and turned back down the hall.
"Tell Luke I'll call him, okay?"
"Okay," She said with a thumbs up.
I heard something move on the other side of the wall. That was Luke's room.
With a sharp intake of breath, I quickly turned and ran down the stairs. I was about to open the front door when I heard Luke's voice.
A tear fell out of my eye.
"Bailey, have you seen Lucy?" His voice sounded like it was further away, he must be in Bailey's room.
I could hear her voice but I couldn't make out what she was saying, she talked too quietly.
"She went home?" Luke almost yelled.
He lowered his voice now, "Did she say why?"
I heard his footsteps coming nearer and I knew I have to get out.
I opened the door and walked down the steps.
I was halfway to my house, which was just next door, when I heard Luke's front door open again.
I folded my arms and ducked my head, trying to block him out.
"Lucy, why are you leaving? Why didn't you wake me up?" He was beside me now.
I kept walking, not saying anything.
"Lucy, what's wrong?"
I buried my head lower.
"Please talk to me, Lucy."
I finally stopped walking.
We were standing on the sidewalk in front of my house.
"What'd I do, Lucy?"
I turned and looked at him. His chest was bare and he was just wearing a pair of old grey sweats.