I quietly sneak into the laundry room and lightly shut the door. I can't handle this much more, I hold my little sisters hand and hold her in my lap stroking her hair as we sit on the cold, damp, floor. Mom and her boyfriend, Todd, are doing things Lillian shouldn't be hearing at her age, she's only six! Therefore the laundry room was the farthest room away from their bedroom and we couldn't hear them. It's difficult here, a place where you could easily be misplaced as a mother because your own doesn't care enough to care for her own children, so i have to watch Lillian and nurture as my own child basically. I'm a sixteen year old girl, I should be the one having fun, and being out with my friends, and making stupid little mistakes, and getting into trouble, and always having a mother to talk to, a mother that would've always had my back. But of course I don't have any of those things and never did, well not since my father died. My mom has been a complete bitch since then, all she cares about is herself, we're the ones she's suppose to be there for, she should've been strong for us. But not anymore, she hasn't been there for us for four years. I hold Lillian in my arms tightly and she quietly asks me, "sissy, why do we have to be in here." I gently kiss her forehead and whisper, "Because I'm going to protect you." She looks up at me and asks me, "Protect me from what?" I hold her tighter to the point where i'm almost as a warm blanket around her soft body and i whisper once last response, " From reality." She gently slipped away into a world of dreams where no one can hurt her. I stand up slowly with her still in my arms, still fast asleep, and I went to check if they were still "busy". The apartment was quiet with not a sound laying about. I finally went to Lillian's and my room, and gently put her in her bed and covered her with a warm blanket across her body. I then laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling, why does this have to happen to Lillian and me? Why couldn't we have had a nice mom that actually cared? Why did our dad have to die? If god really does exist then why is he making us go through an eternity of pain and sadness? As i lay deep in my thoughts I slowly slip away into a world of dreams where no one can hurt me.
The next morning I look over to see that Lillian must've came to lay with me some point in the night. She's still soundly asleep, she looks so fragile, like anyone could break her bone just by touching her. I kiss the top of her head and slowly and quietly get up to get dressed. I just put a t-shirt and some skinny jeans on. I walk out into the kitchen and Mom and Todd are sitting at the dining table, talking dirty to each other, obviously drunk. Todd looks over at me and says, "Well hello sweety, hmmm we should have a.. three way." Mom giggled at the thought and I looked at him disgusted and turned my head and walked away. How dare he, treat me like some sex toy! And mom, she just giggled at it! I stomp all the way to my room and slam the door as hard as I could, forgetting that Lillian was still asleep. Her eyes shot open and she almost had a scared look on her face, i scared her. She was the last person I would ever want to scare, and I'm the only person she was not scared of! I walk over to her and hug her tight and say, "It's okay, shh, everything will be okay." Then she whispered something into my ear, something I would've never imagined a scared little six year old girl to say... "Can we kill mommy?"