RYDER IS TWO WEEKS OLD BUT DANIEL DOESN’T KNOW
I woke up around noon with Britney’s naked body laying next to mine. I rolled over and out of bed throwing on a pair of sweats before heading down the stairs. The mailman had just dropped off the mail so I headed out the door to get it. Most of it was junk before I came across an envelope that was written in Violet’s handwriting. When I opened the envelope, I pulled out a picture of a baby girl. Scribbled across the top was the name Ryder Violet Brooks and the date she was born. Christmas.
I sat down at the island looking down at the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. That’s my daughter. I heard Britney’s feet coming into the kitchen. I was going to try and hide the picture but she was going to have to find out sooner or later. I guess sooner was better for everyone involved.
“Good morning.” She said kissing my neck and wrapping her arms around me. “Who’s that?” She asked looking down at the picture.
“My daughter.” I whispered. Beau came flying through the front door before I heard it slam. I couldn’t move.
“Did you get it too?” He asked once he came into the room and he threw the picture down on the counter.
“What’s this?” I asked looking down a totally different picture.
“It’s an extra in the envelope!” He said. She sent us all extra’s. “We all missed the birth.” He said. Well I wasn’t even suppose to see my daughter so I didn’t really care about missing the birth.
“Do you know where she sent these from?” I asked and he shook his head.
“There wasn’t a return address.” He answered. I wasn’t really sure what to do. I knew she was mine but I also knew that Violet wouldn’t want her to be around me. I told her I didn’t want her so why would she even let me near her?
“You have a daughter and didn’t tell me about her?” Britney said from beside me.
“Can you shut up for a second!” I shouted at her.
“No! You left your wife because you were having a child you didn’t care about?!” She shouted. Jesus Christ. “I’m going to want kids some day. Are you going to leave me too?” She asked and I rolled my eyes.
“I don’t know!” I was being honest. I wasn’t sure about anything anymore. “It would be unfair to that child!” I shouted. I don’t think I would ever get someone pregnant again. I would be as careful as possible because it would be so unfair to Ryder. “I can’t have anymore kids!”
“You can’t have kids because you’re an immature asshole.” She said before stomping up the stairs and coming down slamming the front door as she left.
“Well she’s…” Beau trailed off and I nodded my head.
“That’s what you get when you sleep with whores.” I answered. I was jealous of the guys. They were all happy with having kids and being or getting married. I wish I could be more like them and want to get married and have kids but I hate being tied down. My family were so mad at me that they left the day after Thanksgiving and I haven’t heard from them since.
I couldn’t have been more proud of myself. I gave birth to my daughter all alone and for the past two weeks, I’ve done it on my own. Of course I had someone visiting me almost everyday to see her and make sure I was still alive. I had sent out the birth announcements a few days ago and I got a few calls from family saying how beautiful she was. Hayden had called and wanted to come over to see but I told her only she could and she got angry and told me nevermind.
Ryder was the most perfect baby ever. She rarely ever cried. I’ve only heard her cry once and that was when she was just born. I had her on a tight schedule. She ate about every four hours and then she was changed. Every day at noon, she would fall asleep while being fed and never finished her bottle. She slept in my bed because I wanted her with me.
It was around one in the afternoon when my phone began ringing super loud in the bedroom where Ryder was sleeping and I quickly ran to grab it. Without looking at who was calling due to my panic, I picked it up.
“Hello?” I asked checking to make sure Ry was still asleep and I headed out into the living room with the baby monitor in hand.
“Hi.” Daniel said and I froze. I felt like throwing up. I wasn’t sure what to do. “You there?” He asked.
“Yeah. I’m here.” I said.
“I uh, got the announcement card.” He said. “Thanks for the extra picture.” He said. I rolled my eyes.
“Thought you would like to see the beautiful girl you gave up.”
“She is beautiful. Her eyes are beautiful.” He said. I waited for him to say something else because I wasn’t sure what he wanted. “I was wondering if I could meet her.”
“No.” I answered flat out.
“You didn’t want her in the first place. I don’t want her to get attached to you and you leave her.” I answered truthfully.
“I just want to meet her.” He said.
“It’s afternoon.” He said.
“She’s two weeks old!” I said.
“Please Violet. Just let me meet her.”
“I’ll text you when she wakes up.” I hung up. It was only fair to call Hayden and have her meet them too. I didn’t want to keep her away from her family but I didn’t want her to get hurt. I was hurt my entire life and I would not raise my child like that. I promised myself years ago that I would never get a divorce and I would never be like my parents. It happened all before she was even born. I called Hayden. “Hi.” I said into the phone when she picked up.
“Hi.” She answered back. We never said hi we usually just started talking.
“I’m meeting Daniel somewhere so he can meet Ryder, I can meet with you after if you would like.” I answered and I could literally hear her smile when she shrieked a yes into the phone before quickly hanging up. Ryder began making noises through the baby monitor and I went in to grab her. “Hi baby. We are going to meet someone today. Your family.” I said before texting Daniel to meet at the Starbucks near his house. I told him to come alone so if anyone is attached to him, he will not be seeing her.
*AN HOUR LATER*
Here I was, sitting at Starbucks waiting for Mr. Always late, to walk through that door. Ryder was a happy baby, she quietly sat in my arms looking up at me.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Beau wouldn’t leave.” He said sitting down across from me.
“You’re always late. Even when it comes to your daughter.” I barked at him.
“I know. I’m sorry.” I haven’t seen him in almost two months. It’s weird not seeing him everyday and getting to kiss him and hug him. We both looked down at her as she looked around. “Can she see me?” He asked.
“Barely. She can only see from her face to mine.” I answered. He had taken out his piercing’s. He had dyed his hair black. He hadn’t taken his eyes off of her. “I’m going to go order a drink. Do you want to watch her?” I asked him. He looked up at me and was a little hesitant with his answer. I slowly handed her to him. “Make sure you support her head.” I said. I laid a burping cloth on his shoulder. “Do you want anything?” I asked and he shook his head no.
“Violet.” I answered before paying and going to wait for it to come. I was so nervous about Daniel with her and worrying about them. He looked awkward holding her even from here. Someone called my name and I quickly went back to the table. Daniel was holding her little hand and she was asleep.
“She’s very tired.” He said.
“I know.” I answered. I wasn’t going to allow him to screw up the schedule I had with her but it seemed like it was going to happen.
“She has so much hair.” He said running a hand through it. I nodded my head sipping on my drink. “How does she sleep at night?” He asked.
“Better when she’s in bed with me so that’s where she sleeps.” I answered. He deserved to know these things because even if he wanted nothing to do with her, he was still her father I was going to let him be there if he wanted to.
“What are you guys doing after this?” He asked.
“I told Hayden we would come over so the kids could meet her.”
“Can I come?” He asked.
“If you want to.” I said.
“I do.” He said. I was really nervous about it. I didn’t want her around that many people all at the same time. I was afraid that Abiline and Beau would be there with their three girls because they are over there all the time. “Let’s go now.” He said before carefully placing her in her seat and throwing the cloth on her legs. She was a quiet baby and I was thankful for that. He walked with me to my car and he got her in before he climbed in the passenger seat. “You know where it is right?” He asked and I nodded my head.
We walked up the front steps and Daniel opened the door and walked in.
“Daniel! You can’t be here! Violet is about to come over with the baby and there are already too many of us here!” I heard Hayden shout.
“I came here with her.” I entered the house. It was exactly how it always was. I didn’t feel welcome here anymore. I could hear the kids screaming. They were most likely running around the house. I walked towards the kitchen behind Daniel before I saw that Beau and Abi were in fact here. Ryder was still asleep. I walked in and placed her seat on the island in the kitchen and everyone looked down at her and cooed at her. I sat down. Even though I’m no longer pregnant I get tired very easily, I pee like every ten minutes, and my feet always hurt along with my back.
“She’s beautiful.” Hayden said.
“You can take her out if you would like.” I commented. She did and we all walked into the living room that was a mess. There were five kids sitting on the floor. I still can’t tell Beau’s girls apart. They all look so much a like that it’s crazy. Once they saw us walk in with a new baby, they all came running over and stood around looking down at her. “Wash your hands before you touch her.” I said and they all went running to the bathroom. Beau’s girls were all two, Hayden son was almost three and Ryan was six.
Ryan was the first one back and she got to hold her first.
“Support her head.” Hayden said.
“She’s like the baby in the picture.” Ryan said. I laughed.
“She is the baby from the picture.” I answered. I hope none of them got used to this because to be honest, I didn’t really like it. I didn’t like that people were going to get close to her because I didn’t want her to get close to people and then be disappointed by them. Ryder began to cry and I went to pick her up but Daniel was there before me. He shushed her but he didn’t really get her to calm down.
I went into the kitchen to make her a bottle and he was right behind me. I handed it to him and he shoved it in her mouth. She made little noises and he cooed over her.
“I hope this can be a regular thing for us.” He said I laughed.
“You’re really funny.” I said shaking my head. “This is not going to be a regular thing. I will not allow her to get attached to you. I was attached to you and you left me. I will never put my daughter through that type of pain, ever.” I said. “She won’t be getting close to anyone but me. I won’t allow that.” I won’t even let my daughter get close to her husband. Husbands leave and they won’t come back.
“You won’t let her get close to her own father? Or husband?” He asked and I shook my head.
“If you want her to have a relationship with you, stick around. But she will not be staying at your house. Your girlfriend isn’t allowed near her. You can only ask me when you want to leave the house and you must be within ten feet of her at all times.” Did I sound like one of those crazy moms? No. I know I’m not crazy because I’m right. He left her before he even got see her, what makes him think I was going to let him into her life? “If you show me that you want her, then you can see her more. Until then, get used to that whore you’ve been sleeping with.”