DEEP DARK AND DANGEROUS
“When are we going to go back to normal?” He asked as we were laid across his couch with xbox controllers in our hands. He was laying behind me and I was in front of him. He had a head set on but he put it to the side as he asked me.
“When I know I can give you everything I have.” I didn’t trust him fully. I wanted to I really did. He paused the game and he rolled on top of me as he hovered over me.
“I want it to be normal again.” He said. I closed my eyes. I could feel the tears building in my eyes. “Open your eyes.” He said. I shook my head no. “Look at me Ryan.” He said. I felt his hand on my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. I pried my eyes open even though I didn’t want to. “It’s okay to feel sad. Its okay to cry.” He said as he wiped a tear that fell from my eye.
“Its just that, I wanted to be with you so badly and you just left so easily.” I said. I wrapped my arms around him. He laid down on top of me. His mom came into the room.
“People are going to be here soon.” She said. They had decided to have a cookout today to just see family and they all needed to move on and just act normal. “What did you do to her?” She asked as she came over and looked at us.
“I’m okay.” I said. I still had my arms wrapped around him. I refused to let him go. She left the room as the doorbell rang. “Will you please stay with me?” I asked.
“I won’t leave you ever again.” He said. I knew eventually he would have to leave me but for right now, I would be able to do it. Another boy who had brown hair walked into the room. Jared sat up pulling me with him.
“Hey man.” Jared said as the did some weird handshake thing. “This is Ryan.” He said. “Ryan this is Cory.” He said. I gave a little wave and said hello. “She’s shy.” Jared said. I giggled before I shut the Xbox off and walked into the kitchen where Jared’s mom was making some food and a man and a woman were standing next to the island.
“Guys, this is Ryan, Jared’s girlfriend. Ry this is Taylor and Scott.” Again I gave a little wave and said hello.
“Do you need any help?” I asked.
“Yeah if you could get the salad stuff out of the fridge.” Most people were scared of the huge fridge. I was at first but Jared always made me do it on my own so I got used to it. I turned around to find Jared in my face.
“What are you doing?” I asked as I tried to go around him but he stepped in my way. “What?” I asked as he wrapped his arms around me. His mom took the things out of my hands knowing she would never get them now that he was here. He dragged me into the other room where his lips found my neck. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“Kissing you.” He answered.
“Well stop.” I said trying my hardest not to moan.
“Why?” He asked.
“You’re turning me on.” I whispered.
“Lets go fuck then.” He said.
“Maybe later” I said and kissed him before I walked into the backyard where everyone else was. Jared came out and turned the grill on. I wrapped my arm around his waist. “Do you know how this even works?” I asked.
“No idea.” He laughed. His uncle I assume came over and took over for him. “I don’t know how to work it.” He said.
“I know. You’ll need to figure it out though. Your dad is gone now. The prick.” He mumbled the last part. Jared looked at me and I gave him a small smile to let him know it was okay.
“Its okay to be sad.” I whispered to him as I held his hand. We watched as his uncle made the food. We grabbed plates and helped ourselves before everyone else. We sat down at a table before all of his cousins came over to join us.
“So when did you two meet?” One asked.
“A few months ago at school.” I answered. The all looked at each other. “What?” I asked and looked at Jared, he shrugged at me.
“Its nothing.” One of the girls that was there answered. Me and Jared got up from the table. We laid down on the hammock that his mom had hung a few days earlier.
“Were you being serious about having sex later?” He asked me.
“I don’t know. I’m willing but I’m so scared.” I said. He looked at me.
“I’ make it special, I promise. I would never hurt you.” I wasn’t so sure about it.
“I’ll do it with you if you take me to see The Fault in Our Stars in June.” I said to him.
“Are you going to cry?” He asked as he played with my fingers. I traced my fingers over his tattoos.
“Yeah. I cry in everything we watch.” I said. Which was true. There was never a movie we didn’t watch where I didn’t cry. It always ended with him holding me while I sobbed in bed reminding him of how the movie went and him responding with ‘I watched it with you. I know what happened.’ That happened every single time. It was one of the many things I loved about him.
“What are you guys talking about?” He’s grandmother came over.
“About going to see a movie.” I answered her.
“Which one?” She asked.
“The Fault in Our Stars.” I answered, I mentally fangirled by just saying the name.
“That book is amazing.” She said. We talked more about it and I fangirled more. His family had to have thought that I was crazy. As the sun went down Jared lite a fire. We sat as close as we could together as he roasted marshmallows.
“Want any?” He asked.
“Can’t. Allergic.” I wasn’t allergic to marshmallows I was allergic to glutton but they still made me sick
“Oh sorry. I forgot.” He said. I sat on his lap leaning back into him. “Are you tired?” He asked.
“No. Just wanted to be close to you.” I said. I reached up and ran my hand through his hair. I did this often. It calmed him down but his hair was always so soft. The fire was slowly going out as more and more people were leaving. Eventually they were all gone and it was just me and Jared. He finished off the bag of marshmallows. I turned in his arms so my face was buried in his neck.
“Is that offer you had earlier still open?” He whispered to me.
“I don’t know.” I said. I didn’t want to give into him so easily.
“I would love it was.” He said as he kissed my neck. I moved my head to the side to give him more room. He stood up and carried me to his room. Here’s what I can tell you. It was amazing. I’m so glad I gave it to who I gave it to. He made it so special. I finally understood why people waited to have sex with the one they love. Its ten times more special.
She passed out right after we both finished. I tried to make it as sweet as possible. I tried to also keep her quiet but I don’t think it worked out in my favor.
“I’ll make you guys pancakes.” My mom said as she came into the room the next morning and pushed the blinds to the side. I blinked and looked at her. Me and Ryan were both naked. I covered her with the blanket so my mother wouldn’t see anything.
“Thanks.” I said. As she left Ryan rolled over onto my chest.
“Did that really happen or did I dream it?” She asked.
“It happened.” I whispered.
“Well damn. You’re amazing.” She said. I laughed. I kissed the top of her head.
“Thank you.” I said. We laid there for a while longer before she got up. “Babe, are you okay?” I asked as I looked at the bed and there was some blood. She looked to see what I was talking about.
“Shit.” She said as she went to the bathroom and checked herself. “I think I’m fine.” She answered. “I’m gonna shower, want to join?” She asked. I got up from the bed and went to the bathroom with her.
“Did I hurt you?” I asked.
“A little. It wasn’t your fault though.” She said she felt the water and turned it to the right temperature. She got in and I got in right after her. “I had fun.” She said after we were in there for a while. She mostly stood in the shower letting the water run over her body. I couldn’t tell which was sexier, having her naked in my bed or having her naked in my shower. “What are you looking at?” She asked.
“I’m debating with myself.” I said. She looked at me like I had four heads. “If you’re sexier in my bed naked or in the shower naked.” I said biting my lip. I knew that drove her crazy. She giggled before she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me.
“Jared Black, I’m in love with you.”