8. Chapter 8
"Luke if this is because I keep kissing you then I'm sorry, I just thought you liked it." I murmured. Luke suddenly didn't know what to say. "No I don't like- well actually- wait but- i just- I wanted to know" he stutters. Sadly I reply "Well um. I guess it's pretty obvious i like you luke" i confess. Luke picks apart the bread between his hands as I start to feel awkward. Was I forcing him into kissing me? I felt bad for not asking him. I got up and ran into my room and locked the door. I was so embarrassed and felt bad.
Ashton left after the awkward silence. I sit and think for 5 minutes. Im not going to deny it. I have feelings towards ash. I haven't felt the lust for a woman in years. I am gay. I walk up the stairs mentally rehearsing what I am about to say. I go to open Ashton's door but it's locked. "Ashton?" I whisper through the hard wood. "You can leave if you want" he says. I hear the sadness in his voice. "No Ashton, I want to come in, well actually I want you to come out" i inform. "I've already told you I'm gay" he yells. "No not come out like that I mean open the door" I say laughing a little at his misunderstanding. He opens the door. "Yes Luke." He asks tapping his foot nervously. "Ashton I'm sorry I didn't say anything i just needed to think about things. I have never really felt the way i do now and I think that maybe, I think maybe- maybe" i pause. "Oh Fuck it. I love you okay?" I spit out.
"But- bu- but-you said-" he stutters.
I pull him against me and whisper "I don't care what I said" he looks at me. "But Calum, he um. Actually nevermind" ash nervously says. "Calum what? I already know that Calum saw what happened" i inform him. "No that's not it, Calum isn't going to tell anyone Luke" he reassures. "How do you know?" I ask. "Because, I just know." He replies. "But it's late so let's sleep. You can um- go into the other room- or you know, stay? Or um I don't know" he says although it's more of a question. "I'll um. Stay"
It was kind of awkward seeing Luke lay down and me get in next to him. It was so hot and stuffy, the fan was already on it was just my shirt. "Uh Luke? I'm really hot so I'm taking my shirt off, unless that makes you uncomfortable?" I ask. "No it doesn't, but it's going to get cold tonight."
He was right. At about 11:30 I was cold and I could see Luke trying to pull the blanket right up to his chin. Slowly I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his warm body closer. He snuggled into me and fell asleep. We connected like a puzzle piece.
When school finally came on Monday I knew Luke was nervous, but what I also knew was that Calum wouldn't tell. He knows that what I have on him is something that he wants no one else to know. That's probably why he pulled me aside from Luke to talk. "Ashton, I didn't tell anyone okay?" He informs scared. He then proceeds "but i thought you said-"