“So, what’s the plan?” Ginger asks as she gets in the backseat of Sam’s car.
“First, we infiltrate the establishment.” I say, sitting in the front seat.
“Then I hook up with Niall and become part of the band!” Sam says.
“No, then we steal some stuff and sell it on eBay to a bunch of crazy fans. Then we can be rich!” I say.
“But you said that I was going to be part of the band!” Sam said.
“I never said that!” I screamed.
“Don’t lie to me!” he screamed.
“Can you just drop me off somewhere?” Ginger said.
“Where?” Sam asked.
“Anywhere!” Ginger said.
“BUT WE’RE HERE!” Sam said, pulling up to a mansion. I had no idea that there were even mansions in this town.
I instantly got out of the car when Sam pulled the key out of the emission.
“Come on Ginger!” I snarled at my friend.
Ginger then got out of the back seat and started to pout as we walked up to the front door.
“It’s Friday, guys. I wanted to go bowling. I didn’t want to spend the night hanging out with people I don’t like doing illegal things.” Ginger snapped, again.
“Will you shut up! And if we are done before seven, then we can still go bowling. Happy?” I lie, just to shut her up.
I hear her grumble something, more than likely an insult. At this point, though, I didn’t care. I just had one goal in mind: money.
When we came up to the house, I slowly knock on the door.
“Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.” Sam is chanting under his breath.
“What?” Ginger asks.
“Tonight, I might end up hooking up with one of the band members.” He says.
“I don’t think any of them are into gay guys.” Ginger says with no emotion.
“Honey, I could be anything they want, just for tonight.” He says.
I turn to Sam, “You are such a slut.” I say blankly. He shrugs.
The door suddenly opens and I see Harry standing there in a suit and tie. I suddenly realize that I am extremely underdressed. I put on a red sweatshirt, zebra print leggings, and ugg boots.
“Hello, Stella. We were almost worried that you wouldn’t make it.” he said in his deep british accent. “Please, won’t you come in?” he gestured inside the house.
“Someone shoot me, please!” Ginger groaned.
We all went inside and our mouths dropped. The place was huge. High ceilings. Bright lights. They even have an L-shaped couch that Louis was currently laying across on.
“Love me like one of your French girls, Stella.” He called as soon as he saw me. I couldn’t believe he actually just said that. I felt like my face had caught on fire from embarrassment. Ginger burst into a fit of laughter. Sam started to drool.
That’s when Niall came out of the kitchen and handed me a drink, “Please, won’t you sit down.” he gestured towards the couch that was being occupied by Louis.
“No thanks.” I say, smelling the drink for traces of some sort of date rape drug.
“Would you rather come upstairs?” Zayn said, peering over the spiral staircase.
“You know, the couch sounds really good, but I have to go use the bathroom.” I say and hand the drink to Sam, who gulped it down immediately before Niall could protest.
“Is this cherry limeade?” Was the last thing I heard Sam say before I ran up the stairs and into the bathroom.
I looked around and saw that the entire bathroom was bigger than my own bedroom.
The shower had a glass door with a mixture of rocky textures.
The toilet was on a freakin’ throne.
The soaps were shaped as life size roses.
I immediately open my purse and shoveled about 8 soaps into it.
“There are more in the cabinet.” I voice says behind me, startling me into a scream.
I instantly turn around and see that Liam was standing in the shower, staring at me.
I scream again.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.” he said, slowly turning on the shower with his clothes still on.
“Why are you hiding in a shower!”
“I was waiting. You are still trying to avoid me.”
“I came to wash my hands!”
“Do you want to,” he pauses, staring at me, “clean up, a bit?” he raises his eyebrows. I instantly knew what he meant.
I felt my after school snack starting to come up. Another one of Diego’s burritos. I really should stop falling for his cheap bargains, I always know they come back to bite me in the butt. Well, this time it’s my stomach. I couldn’t hold it in for much longer. I didn’t want to toss my cookies right in front of this guy, and I knew there was another bathroom across the second floor. If I ran as fast as I could I was sure I could make it in time. I scurried to the door, almost yanking it open when Liam grabbed my arm, stopping me. There was no holding back now.
“Wait! I promise I--” He never got another word in before I projectile vomited onto him. His face and the front of his shirt were coated in an instant. I was amazed that I didn’t get any on my own clothes.
He licked his lips. “Is that burrito?”
“My favorite.” he whispered.
That’s when I realized that this dude was crazy, so I booked it downstairs, only to find Sam attempting to climb on top of an unconscious Niall. I stopped for a second to tell him good luck and hurry to the staircase to start my search for Ginger.
“Shitshitshitshitshitshit.” Ginger chanted under breath as she ran down the stairs.
“What?” I ask.
“Stella, we need to get out of here.” Ginger whispers to me.
“Why? Sam went off and I didn’t even get a chance to take anything, except for these fancy soaps!” I whisper back to her.
“I took this.” she then flashed a huge stack of 100 dollar bills and stuffed it back into her bowling bag that she keeps with her 24/7.
“We. Need. To. Go.” she grabbed me by the arm and ran down the hallway.
Suddenly, the fire alarm went off and I stopped.
“What did you do?” I asked
Ginger smiled maniacally. “I raised Hell.” she laughed.
I stared at her.
“By accident, of course.” she added with all seriousness.
“Oh. You accidentally opened a portal to hell?” I say accusingly.
“No. I put a Hot Pocket in for too long in the microwave and it burst into flames so I got the hell outta Dodge, now come on.” She grabbed my arm again and we ran out the front door, just to find the members of One Direction and Sam staring at the house that was now up in flames.
“What did you do?” Sam screamed.
“It’s no big deal.” Harry said.
“We have five more in this neighborhood, alone.” Zayn said.
“So let’s get down to why we are all really here.” Liam says.
“You have to choose!” the five of them chanted, as their house burned down behind them.
“What?” I say, really annoyed.
“You have to choose which one you love!”
“Okay, I think you guys have misunderstood everything.”
“No.” Harry declared. “We each love you. You will have to choose which one you love.”
“Wait, hold on-” I try before Zayn interrupts me.
“You are probably one of the most beautiful girls we have ever seen. We each fell in love with you the moment you spoke out in class. We each saw something in you that made us want you.”
“Can I just say-” I try again, this time Niall speaks.
“We each tried different ways to get you to fall in love with us. We tried to show you our true colors, knowing that you would have to pick one of us for who we truly are.”
“Hold up-” This time, Liam speaks, still covered in vomit.
“So, who do you choose, Stella Cinnamon. Who do you love?”
“You guys are so-”
“Please. Let’s just get this over with. Pick one!” Louis said, tears starting to stream from his eyes.
“SHUT THE HELL UP!” Ginger screams, still shoving things into her overly full bowling bag. “You’re all freakin’ idiots!”
“Ginger, why would you say that to us?” They chimed.
“Because Stella is a lesbian!”
Their mouths dropped to the floor.
Harry peed his pants.
“What?” Niall whispered.
“She has a girlfriend that lives in Texas! Jeeeesssuuuuus!” Ginger said, annoyed.
I nodded as they looked to me.
“The only reason we came here tonight is so we could steal some stuff and so Sam could hook up with Niall!” Ginger said.
That’s when Sam piped up, proud of himself, “And looks like we accomplished both of those things tonight!”
We all then looked at Niall, who was now blushing. I don’t think he was really as unconscious as I thought.
“So, can I be in the band?” Sam said, winking.
“No!” four out of the five band members said in unison.
Niall stared into Sam’s eyes.
“Yes.” he whispers.
“What?” Harry says.
“Eithers he’s in, or I quit.” Niall said.
“Holy shit! Not again!” Liam said, annoyed! “We can’t do this again, Niall! We let you have Louis in the band, but that’s it!”
“But I love him.” Niall screamed.
“That’s what you said about Louis! Then Stella! Now it’s Sam! You are such a slut!” Harry screamed.
Niall stared at them all, pouting his lips.
“Fine, he can be in the band.” they all mumbled.
At this point, Sam was doing a little dance.
“Can I just say something!” I scream, their attention coming back to me.
“Looks like some feminist shit is about to go down.” Ginger said.
“You bet it is, moptop!” I scream, “First of all, just because you come up to a complete stranger and say that she is pretty does not mean that she is instantly going to fall in love with you! The fact that you told me you love me doesn’t change any part of my feelings towards you! I hope you learned a very valuable lesson today, gentlemen.” I say.
“That no means no, bitch!” Ginger raps.
“Yeah!” the boys chime in.
“Looks like our work here is done.” Ginger said, putting on sunglasses.
“What do we do now?” I ask.
“Now? We go bowling.” she said, the house exploding behind her.
I nod, and as we walk our way to Sam’s car, I realize that this day will probably be remembered as That Day That Was a Complete Waste of Time.
~ FIN ~