Calum and Michael just got in a huge fight about how Calum screwed it up for the whole band. We're sitting in the car at a stoplight and he looks really pissed. I honestly don't know if he should be driving if he's this angry. We've been driving for about 20 minutes when i turn on the radio, Nirvana was on. We sit in silence as he drives down the highway slightly more relaxed now. I slide over closer to him in his 1959 Cadillac and he puts his arm around me. Debating whether or not to break the hour long silence when i say " Cal, where are we going?" without missing a beat he says "Anywhere". We drove for about 3 hours when I well asleep. Calum woke me up when we stopped at a gas station. "Vic? Baby? You awake?" It was really dork outside. It was about 8:30 at night. "Yeah. Where are we?" I askd rubbing my eyes as I got out of the car. "We're about 45 minutes away from Melbourne." wow. its about a 10 hour drive from Sydney to Melbourne. Are we going to stay here? Because we have no clothes or anything. I don't ask though, I just nod my head and walk into the convenience store. We got 2 cups of coffee and 2 bags of M&Ms. I stay awake for the rest of the ride and we sit listening to the radio. We finally pull into a motel and get a room and since we have no things this was a pretty quick process. I have no idea how long we're staying or why we're here. I honestly just think he is running away from all his problems back in Sydney. We don't say anything and just get ready for bed. When Calum came out of the bathroom I was sitting on the bed with just my t-shirt on. He comes up behind me, sits on the bed, and puts his legs around me so i'm sitting in his lap. He wraps his hands around my waist and lays his head on my shoulder while i flip through channels on the TV. After I decided there was nothing on TV to watch i laid down facing Calum and ask " Cal, why are we here and how long are we staying?" He ducks his head down and he starts to cry. I sit up and pull him close so his head is in my lap. I rub his back and he sits up and says "Victoria, I am so so sorry. I really want to be a good father for this child and I'm just so scared and I know you are probably more scared than I could ever be and I am just so sorry" My heart just shattered into a billion pieces and i say with a crack in my voice from holding my tears back " I know baby, we'll make it remember? We can do this. And this baby will have a rock star for a dad and it will be great and maybe when we're ready we can have another baby." he looked up at me, his face red with tears and a smile. He mouthed the word "Okay" and I just held him, rubbed his back and kissed his forehead. Around 1:30 in the morning we finally laid down and he held me so tight that when I got up to go to the bathroom he woke and said "Victoria? are you okay? I felt you move and then i just couldn't feel you anymore..." he is going to be a great father. "Yes, baby i'll be right back. I'm going to the bathroom." When I got back in bed I couldn't sleep. I just laid there and wondered what the hell we were gonna do and whether or not Calum would even stay with me. The entire night if he wasn't touching me, he moved so he was. I realized that I don't know how, but we will be okay. We will make it.