Silas explained the plan quickly. We all nodded along, enthusiastically . And then Jasper and Soren got up, doing their job which was to go, make, and take sandwiches for everyone in the room since they were the least helpful in the conversation on how to destroy their father. Then we would discuss how we would actually do it. When they had left, and the door was closed behind them, Finn spoke up.
"How are we going to kill him and only take half of the credit? That's impossible. It's like if I painted a picture of a chair on the wall and I only got half of the credit."
"Why would you paint a chair onto the table?" I asked. Finn pushed my question away with his hand, ignoring it.
"You would get half the credit because someone made the table." Griffin added. "And the paint."
"That's not the point." Silas said, exasperated. "The point is that half the credit goes to us and the other half to the people."
"We are talking about the credit." Bo said, "And not actually how. I think we should talk how first and then get to the credit."
"They both matter. And one way we could be over thrown for murder and being horrible rulers because we murdered our father or they could over throw us because they now know how easy it is to kill a ruler. Either way isn't good if you haven't noticed." Silas said, "So we have to do a bit of both."
"By doing everything." Silas said. "If we poison him..."
"That was my idea!" Bo interrupted playfully grinning.
"To make him weaker then, I don't know, have the people stick a knife in him and he'd already be weak, and already dying so he'd die quickly."
"But you can kill quickly by stabbing their hearts." I said. We all sat in silence, thinking.
"Murder is harder than I expected." Izaiah said. I smiled but then I saw everyone else's serious expressions so I looked away, forcing the smile off my face.
"It is." Said Bo, solemn faced.
"What if, I don't know, we got a representative." Finn said, "From both sides. Someone who has been, or seen this side of ours, and someone who has seen their side. Who understands it all. And they could kill them." Suddenly, everyone was looking at me. My eyes widened. No one moved for a minute.
"So it's been decided." Silas said, leaning back in his chair. Right then, the door opened and Jasper and Soren came in, carrying 8 sandwiches between them.
"What's been decided?" Soren asked .
"Liv is going to kill our father." One of the sandwiches fell to the floor.
"Because- as Finn nicely explained it,"
"Thank you!" Finn interrupted. Silas continued, ignoring Finn.
"she has seen both sides. Our side and the people's side. She knows what he can to do either side. And so instead of everyone splitting the murder, which would've just been so confusing."
"And difficult!" Popped in Finn
"I thought we were going to do it."Soren said, glumly.
"Soren, you don't want to kill our father." Silas said, gently. Soren was quiet
"Which response are we leaning towards?" I asked, my eyebrows knitted together with worry for my own personal safety."
"When I kill your father, " I said, trying to act as if me murdering was just an everyday topic "Which response do you think other people will be leaning towards? The Lets Murder Liv attitude or The Hooray! attitude?"
"Hopefully the second." Bo said, as he reached under the table and touched my hand comfortingly.
"How am I going to kill your father?" I asked, looking at Bo but speaking to everyone. My heart was hammering in my chest. I could practically hear the shrugs from the Kings.
"Poison?" Suggested Jasper, eagerly.
"Maybe you should stab him." Bo said. I turned sharply and glared as others agreed with him.
"It would be the best."
"A great way to make a statement."
"Impossible to dismiss as someone else, or another cause or group."
"But we are all the same group." I said, starting to yell. "WE ARE ALL WORKING FOR THE SAME CAUSE. FOR THE SAME REASON. WHO HONESTLY CARES WHO GETS THE BLAME OR CREDIT OR WHATEVER-I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL SOMEONE, EVEN IF HE IS A HORRIBLE PERSON, WHICH HE UNDOUBTABLY IS BUT I AM GOING TO KILL SOMEONE. I WILL STAB A KNIFE INTO HIS CHEST. HIS LIVING, BREATHING CHEST. AND THEN WHAT? I'LL BE KILLED FOR KILLING A MAJOR ASSHOLE? OR I'LL BE CHEERED FOR KILLING THAT SAME SHITHEAD? AND EITHER WAY NO ONE KNOWS TO ANY DEGREE WHICH ONE WILL BE WHICH. WHETHER I'LL DIE STABBING SOMEONE OR LIVE-KNOWN, WHICH ISN'T MY BEST INTEREST EITHER.
I'VE NEVER EVEN HELD A KNIFE MENACINGLY WITH INTENT TO KILL SOMEONE! WHAT IF I STAB THE WRONG PLACE AND HE DOESN'T DIE. DO I STAB HIM AGAIN? AND AGAIN? BECAUSE LET ME TELL YOU- ALL OF YOU, THAT IS BRUTAL. THIS IDEA IS KIND OF CRAZY. AND MARO? HIS GUARD? WHO HAS BEEN GUARDING HIM FOR YEARS? SHE'S JUST GOING TO SKEWER ME! IT WON'T BE PRETTY I CAN GUARANTEE YOU ALL THAT. GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN!" I exhaled angrily, put my face in my hands for a moment, then I stood and walked towards the door, taking a sandwich from Jasper's arms, angrily. I slammed the door behind me and started to walk to the practice room.
I kicked everything I passed. Specially annoying looking floor planks, stupid wall stones, the chairs around the table. They all hurt my feet but I ignored it. I walked through the kitchen and nearly kicked someones legs- the girl from a few days ago...Nat. But I stopped myself. And stopped, in the middle of the kitchen, my breath catching in my throat. My eyes burned as tears rose to them. How could they have me do that? I walked into the little hallway behind the kitchen, then leaned against the wall and stared at the light for a minute before I tried to concentrate on my breathing. In. Out. In. Out. Not: Out. Out, Gasping In.
A few minutes later when I had my breathing under control, I sunk to the ground, leaned against the warm wall- I guess I was leaning against the other side of the fireplace and I took a bite of sandwich. It was the nothingness that I needed. I took another bite. I wanted to train. I wanted to train so I could get my anger out with permanently damaging my feet. When I finished it, I stood, wiped the crumbs off of my black clothes and walked to the training room.
It was empty. People must've still be eating lunch. I though briefly about joining them but then I couldn't. Not with my anger. The emotions none of them could sypithasize with or even know. Instead I looked around at the empty room- floor included, and I backed up to the wall next to me. And then I ran, back and forth, slamming into the mats on the wall, shoulder first. Each time I did it, I muttered a name, a problem. I ignored my heavy breathing and the pain that shot through my shoulders. Over and over again. I ran into the walls angrily.
Eventually the pain in my shoulders numbed along with the rest of my body and my mind. I paid no attention to the rest of the room as I ran across one last time, before I started to hit the walls. Damn Finn for bringing it up. For sacrificing me. Smack. For Silas to approve of the idea. smack. For him not to ask me. smack. the murderer. Bo who I had just rejected right back there, an ending it seemed. I hated Bo but I also... loved him. He was my rock this entire competition but not he had gone to far. He had accepted my fate-of most likely death with out: A: consulting me, B: even seeming to care.
I pounded at the wall until my hands were red and painful. Bo for not caring. I kicked the wall too and then leaned my forehead against the wall. I breathed and allowed myself to remember that other things existed. A door closed.
My head shot up as I saw three people- Vera, Zahra, and... Maro. The two of them looked at me, horrified, while Maro looked at me, somehow slightly contented and slightly pleased with my hitting abilities. I walked over to them. Vera, with out realizing, she flinched as I approached. I looked at Maro. She smirked.
"Someone's angry." I didn't respond. The rest of the girls...my peers. For the rest of my life, however long that might be. I had one death threat on my head already and by tomorrow night, it would be two. We huddled around Maro. She turned around and took a box I didn't realize had been there. It was cardboard and ripped on the sides. She dropped it in front of us. The box rattled as it dropped. I peered over Vera's shoulder to see what was inside.
"We'll start learning about weapons today." A small amount of the anger in my heart vanish, but only a small amount. I was still boiling over. On the inside. She kicked the box closer to us, It made a sound that I would imagine would be painful but if it was, Maro didn't show.
"Pick one of the wooden ones." She said, and the people closest to the box, kneeled and gave everyone a fake dagger. I held it in my hands. It felt awkward and the blade looked incredibly ridiculous. There was no possible way a knife like this was like an actual knife. Maro told us to take position. We all stood, back straight and both hands holding the knife. She showed us how to hold it properly, hands wrapped around it in a way, that if one were to make a downwards stabbing motion it wouldn't hurt their hands. "Get into partners." Maro said. Instead of winding up with Eliza, who could usually withstand my fighting, I wound up with Zahra. "Who ever wins out of three."
The goal was to stab the other person. Nicely, of course. But the goal was to stab nonetheless, a thing I needed to learn. Very needed to learn. I also learned, quickly, that I would be something that I would need to work at for days. Which thanks to a certain group of annoying seven people was not to happen. It would be tomorrow. I forced the thought out of my head. I needed to focus on blocking Zahra. I didn't need to think about this until... later.
Only a few hours. I heard a grunt and I blinked myself back to reality and out of the dark crevice of where my thoughts were going. Zahra lunged at me. I jumped back and knocked her fake dagger with mine. We fought for a few more minutes, parrying as we knocked our stupid wooden knives together.
After a few more minutes of struggle, Zahra won. We re-matched and right as I was about to jab at her, the door to the practice room opened and in, half stepped Finn. He caught my attention right away. I glared at him from across the room, almost shooting real daggers out of my eyes. Zahra stabbed between my ribs but I didn't notice. I was staring at him. As soon as Finn saw me, met my eyes, he slipped out of the room again.
"Again." I looked at Zahra, the competitiveness still in my eyes. We both got into position. We leaped at each other, wooden daggers clashing.
"What's up between the two of you?" She asked, mid-fight.
"I hate him." I said, ending the brief conversation. I looked at her briefly, her milky brown eyes shone with hurt. Her lips were set in a disappointed pout. We both held up our daggered hands. Ready to fight again. "Are you excited to be King Silas' guard?" I asked her, leaping at her. At that, she smiled, her disappointment clearing away as if it had never been there.
"Very." She said, "I just hope I'm not to much of a disappointment."
"You won't be." I exhaled deeply. I lunged for her heart, but she side-stepped and I missed, falling into the space where she had been. "You were picked for a reason."
"Thanks." She said, jabbing at me. "And how are you- with being King Bo's body guard." My blood boiled at his name and I faked to the right and as she moved to the left to escape my fake dagger, I moved to the right and stabbed her lightly. But right between her bottom ribs. She winched just a little bit and exhaled raggedly. "I hate him now too." I said, wiping the sweat from my face. Zahra smiled, and it was a beautiful smile. She was just a beautiful person in general, I realized. I suddenly felt very ashamed at not hanging out with the other girls on our free time. I missed a lot of nice people. But I only missed it because I was with Bo and Bo was part of the reason I was in the predicament.
Maro turned to us. "Are you finished." We both nodded silently. She gestured us to circle her, there were two other people with Maro. We dropped the wooden weapons into the box. Two were still fighting, and one must've been talking to the Kings. I grew bitter again. Curse them for racing through my mind every other second, for planning me into a hole to go and practically bury myself into. When the two finished the hurried towards us, sweat dripping off of both of their faces.
"Next we'll be working with normal daggers and knives," Maro said, "Sharp ones." Then she looked over our heads at a clock on the wall. My heart pounded with anticipation. I needed this. "Or not." She said. I deflated a little bit. "Time's up. We can resume this next practice, which is not tomorrow but the day after. Remember- you'll be up bright and early." A few groans came from around me. I smirked. The rest of the girls left and I eagerly turned to Maro.
"Can I try and start early with them?" Maro looked me over, she looked into my eyes for a moment before she shook her head.
"Livia," She said, calling me by my full name. "I don't know why you want to learn, but I don't trust your intentions right now." As you shouldn't trust me now, I thought. I'm going to kill your boss tomorrow night. And you'll never talk to me again. Surprisingly that fact was a large let down, I was starting to like her. "Goodnight." She said, picked up her box and left. I was left alone in the empty room. I screamed to the air and then stomped away, turning the lights out behind me.