The knife soared towards its target, who too late, realized what was happening and had brought his hands up to cover his rodent-like face, as if that would do anything. As if it was simply to mar his- what he must’ve thought was his lovely face. But his face wasn’t lovely. It was creepy. And horrible, just like him. The scent of his vile perfume filed my nose as the blade hit him. He didn’t seem very wounded, or even dead. I looked where the knife had stabbed. There was a small hole in his magenta shirt but no blood, or if there was, no real wound. It had hit bone and not gone through his ribs like originally intended.
I blinked and felt somewhat outer-wordly. As if I weren’t in my body. Almost as if I were watching myself. My brain wasn’t working and instead I just watched as my hand brought down the blade again. It at first, seemed to be slow. Everything seemed to be slow motion. My hand bringing down the knife was moving slug-like but finally as it came close to contact with him, everything sped up. And then, suddenly, the knife was out of my hands. The knife had sunk into Isaac’s chest. He slumped against the pillar, practically curling into himself as blood poured from his chest.
I looked down at my hands. On them were some of his blood. No more than small droplets but they felt like more. Though light as air, they felt a hundred pounds. I dropped to my hands, my hands sinking to the floor as I suddenly became aware of every single particle in my body. Aware of everything happening around me. The room was chaos. When the knife had found its home it had taken people a moment to long to realize what had happened. Only when he had slumped into the pillar had they screamed. Several people surrounded the King, ignoring me for a moment. Suddenly two hands who gripped my shoulders hard, yanked me backwards and onto the floor. I didn’t protest or even move.
Maro placed her boot on my chest, scowling down at me. Her face was cold and bitter, though I could tell there was a very small, miniscule amount of pride in her eyes from executing a perfect kill, but the rest of her was cold. I had killed the one person she had to protect. The person she had protected for many years. He was dead. At my hands. My hands were felt like they were covered in blood instead of merely splattered with the former.
He was dead at my hand. I had done something only the desperate did and the antagonists in books did. That was what made them bad. And now, I was one of them. I had killed a man. Cold-heartedly killed him. Without even thinking or cringing. I had stabbed him. Twice! Though the first one barely counted since it was a miss. But I had still stabbed him. I had turned my brain off, the rational part of me and just brought the blade down. The once shiny and untouched blade, now covered in sticky, red blood. The blade was coated in it. The virgin blade was deflowered. It was ruined. Forever. It would be one of the knives up for display somewhere. There would be a plaque that would read: “THIS IS THE KNIFE THAT WAS USED TO STAB KING ISAAC. THE MURDERESS WAS NONE OTHER THAN LIVIA PACEY: THE WORLDS MOST PATHETIC AND HORRIBLE PERSON. A LOUSY MURDERESS.”
And that would be how she’d go down in history. A murderess. I gasped as Maro stepped down harder on my chest, the heel of her boot pressing into both my stomach and ribs. The pain brought me back from the future to reality. I was a killer. A cold-blooded killer. I had done it because I wasn’t to. Because I was angry, but nonetheless. It had done it. Isaac was dead. The creepy and horrible man was dead. And that was good. But it was because of me. Because of my hands and my anger and my heartache that I had done it. I had done it. It was my fault. I had killed. I killed.
“I’m a horrible person.” I whispered to my self, suddenly shaking on the ground. I turned my head and looked at the crowd around me. They had circled around the corpse of the King and the doctors and Maro and …me. They were loud and most of them didn’t seem to believe it. “I’m a horrible person.” I muttered again,
“What was that?” Maro asked, leaning down to glower wickedly at me.
“I’m a horrible person.” I repeated, not really hearing her.
“COMING THROUGH.” Someone familiar said loudly, and I heard the rustling of fabrics as people moved and then the sound of something jumping onto something else. The crowd members behind me turned their heads and I did as well and saw Finn standing on one of the tables, his arms up to silence everyone. His face was remarkable calm. I couldn’t see anyone else with him-on the ground most likely, but I guessed that they were.
“I’m a horrible person.” I said again, shaking. I repeated it as Finn spoke and the only thing that told me he was speaking was the fact that his mouth was moving. Nothing sunk in. Only the horrible realization that I was a murderer. I was a horrible person. And I repeated it over and over again. I brought my hands up and inspected them. I am a horrible person. The blood splatters. I am a horrible person. The blood that was only on my hands and on me because I caused it. I am a horrible person. I had a body count. I am a horrible person. I blinked, the world going slow again and when I opened my eyes, Maro was off of my chest and I was being hauled up. I am a horrible person.
I was dragged over to a corner of the room. I am a horrible person. I blinked again and Bo was in front of me. His brown eyes were sympathetic yet hard and almost business like. I am a horrible person and Bo doesn’t deserve this. To have me- a murderer to be his body guard. To be the person he would need to trust. I would never be that. I killed someone. I’m not to be trusted. I am a horrible person.
“No you’re not.” Bo said. He was still facing me, his hands on my shoulders. Yes I am, I responded silently, the worst of the worst. I am a horrible person. “Liv-Livia, listen. It’s not your fault.” But it is. I held up my shaking hands. Bo eased one of his hands off my shoulders and lightly touched my fingers. “You did what you had to do. You know, if your to blame anyone, blame us. We practically forced you to do it.” But what you said earlier. What felt like hours ago but in fact was actually minutes. I am a horrible person. Bo hugged me. Where we touched, I felt warm but I hadn’t realized I was cold. I still shivered. I am a horrible person. “Don’t do this to yourself.” He said. I bit my lip. He pulled me away quickly, looked at me and then hugged me again. After a few minutes, I seemed to calm down. I started to hear other things, such as Finns apparently never ending speech.
At this moment he was talking about me and my family. The horrible things Isaac had done and how this was now all for the better. I blinked and looked at Bo. He gave a weak smile, grabbed my two hands and pushed them away from where I had had them, still hovering in the air, splattered with blood.
The thought made my stomach feel queasy. He leaned in, pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and then a quick one to my lips, but I was pushing him away less than a second later. I stumbled back and fell into one of the walls and was promptly sick. My hair fell in my face but was then not in my face. I had blood on my hands. Human blood. It was drying but it belonged to someone who would never need it again. Who was dead, on the ground, covered in a pool of it. And it was all out there because of me. I am a horrible person, I thought.
When I finished, there was a horrible taste in my mouth and I gagged. I took a step away from the mess I had made on the floor and leaned against the wall, slowly sinking towards the ground. I didn’t care about my dress. It was probably covered in blood as well. My hair was suddenly covering my neck again and I looked over and saw Bo, crouching in front of me, his hand midway between the top of my head and himself.
“Thanks.” I croaked out.
“No problem.” He replied, somewhat concerned yet also a little stern. We looked at each other for a few moments. I took a deep breath, turned my head to the side and spit out some of the bad taste. I turned back to Bo.
“Go be a King.” I said. Bo lowered his eyebrows as if to say ‘You sure?’ I nodded. Bo hesitated a moment before I stood up fully and walked towards his brothers. He seemed almost carefree but deep inside, I knew he wasn’t. But seeing him like that made me forget about my horribleness as a person and I put a brave mask on and shoved the miserable feelings I had down, for later tonight, when I was alone or cuddled in a bed. Loved. I sucked in a deep breath and stood. I folded my arms behind my back and took proper body-guard stance. I leaned against the wall. I held my chin up high and watched as all of the 7 Kings, talked to the crowd. The tyrant was dead and he wouldn’t be there anymore, murdering random people or his older brothers. He would be gone. Forever. Simply left to rot underground.
I looked around the room. I saw Gran. Who was looking somewhat smug in her flowery dress. I looked around the room for Zeke, who looked kind of sad but in his own way, also proud. It brought a small smile to my lips. I saw Maro who was still cold and icy yet she seemed almost freer. As if the short little bastard being dead was somehow a weight off of her shoulders, which it probably was. I looked at the Kings of them. Each of them being proud in their own ways. Finn, filling up space and time and Silas being quiet yet assuring. Bo, fixing some of the things Finn said and adding somewhat nice information. The twins, comforting and Izaiah, who was giving the facts and statistics. Griffin didn’t say much but occasionally backed the other six up but nodding or simply agreeing. They were Kings but they were also only brothers and still pretty young ones at that. But they were family.
The room emptied rather quickly after their speech. It was only occupied by Maro, the dead King who was in the process of being taken out, the Kings and their bodyguards plus Gran and Zeke and Silas’ boyfriend. Also Queen Magnolia
Everyone was in their own spaces yet all close together. They were all spread out, mourning and accepting what had happened. Slowly they moved closer together and started talking and joking around. Silas’ boyfriend had his arms wrapped around Silas’ waist as they talked to Gran. Zahra was talking to Finn, Zeke and Bo and two other of the bodyguards. The other girls were talking together in hushed voices with the exception of Eliza who was talking to Queen Magnolia and the rest of the Kings.
They were like puzzle pieces. And together they all seemed to make something wonderful. I looked around the room once more and smiled. They were my family. Or, as close to a family as one could get while having romantic feelings for one of them. But they were the ones I would spend the rest of my days with- with the exception of Queen Magnolia. They were the ones who I would learn to love and accept. And they me. No one seemed to care that I just killed a man. Everyone instead was seeing the positive side of things. Optimists. But it was for the better in the end. And that’s al they seemed to care about. I pushed myself off of the wall and walked over to Bo.
This was where I was meant to be.