Shattered

Jackie never fit in, when she was accepted to Hogwarts, she expected things to be different, but they got worse. As her family deserts her and she struggles with making a friend, will Jackie make it at her first year at Hogwarts?

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10. Home

I spent the next week at home with my family. I spent a lot of time with Juliet in the hospital. She still hadn't woken up. I knew that she was supposed to survive this but I also knew that everyone in the house was thinking the same  thing. What if she doesn't wake up?

It was gloomy in the house. Mom made red velvet cake, my favorite, for dessert, but it tasted like sawdust. I couldn't taste anything anymore, not with all of the anxiety and worry on my shoulders. I had gone through Juliet's room with my entire family, and I realized just how stupid we had all been. We found knives and ripped pictures of all her old "friends". There was a bottle of pills in her sock drawer. Luckily, it was unopened, and we didn't find any more pill bottles. 

I found her diary and it was just terrible. I could barely read it. the things she had said made me want to scream. I wanted to shake Juliet and ask her why in the world that she believed all these terrible things. Did she not realized how loved she was? Obviously not. After reading it, I locked myself in my room and cried real tears. I couldn't believe how broken she was, and no one had even noticed. 

I spent so much of my time in the hospital with her. I would sit by her and hold her delicate (but healing) hand. I whispered to her, even though she couldn't hear me. Everyone in the family thought it was their fault that Juliet tried to kill herself. Mum and dad tried to make everyone feel better, but I knew how terrible they were feeling. Mum would make delicious foods, but everything tasted like sandpaper to me. I just didn't have an appetite. One day, over a large steak dinner, Dad asked something really awkward.

"So you three are all sticking together in school, right?" he asked.

I fidgeted. I could feel the awkwardness hanging in the air like a wet and heavy blanket. Jenna mumbled a small yes and Jacob squirmed and nodded. I was the one who really spoke up though.

"No," I said, "We haven't been sticking together,"

"Why not?" asked Mum, surprised.

"They just don't want to be seen with me I guess," I shrugged, looking down at my food.

"Jenna?" Mum asked, worry crawling at her words, "Jacob?"

"It's fine. I understand, I'm just that weird Slytherin sibling that no one had time for," I said bitterly.

"No..." Jenna started.

"That's not true," Jacob said defensively. 

I didn't say anything. I just pushed the steak around with my fork.

"Jackie," Jenna started, biting her lip, "We thought that you didn't want to hang out with us. We thought that you wouldn't want all of your Slytherin friends to see you with a bunch of Ravenclaws, so we sort of avoided you. We thought that you didn't have time for us,"

"Well I thought that you didn't have time for me," I answered.

"We figured that you would only want to hang out with all of you're Slytherin friends, so we just kind of accepted that,"

"Well you were wrong, because I don't have any friends, and I wanted to be with you, but you were too busy with your own friends. I would pass you in the corridor and it was like you didn't even know who I was," I said.

"You don't have friends?" Jacob asked rudely.

I pushed my food around some more and didn't say anything. A lump formed in my throat.

'I'm sorry, Jackie. I had no idea, and I promise that we can hang out when we get back to school," Jenna said.

"I'm sorry too," Jacob echoed. 

"You don't need to go out of you're way to be with Charity Case Jackie. You can hang out with Devin and all of you're other new friends instead," I said bitterly and stood up.

"I'm full," I said, addressing Mum, "may I be excused?"

"I would like it if you would stay," Mum squeaked, "There's cake for dessert,"

I got walked away from my chair and towards the stairs.

"Jackie wait!" Dad called.

Jenna ran up and grabbed my left hand. Jacob grabbed the other one. I yanked my hands out of their grasp. 

"Why don't you go off and eat your yummy cake then write a letter to all of you're new friends at Hogwarts. Then you can go off and write in your diaries about how you wish you at were school with you're crush instead of here waiting for you're suicidal sister to wake up, if she ever does? I don't need friends or anything, it's not like you need to pay attention to me," I shouted at my siblings.

Then I ran up to my room and slammed the door.

*******

After avoiding everyone for a while, I was laying on my queen bed staring at the ceiling thinking about my family and just life. When it was about nine pm I was laying in bed in the dark, waiting for sleep to come over me. I felt something come into bed with me and snuggle up. Then something else came in the bed on the other side. One of the these strung their fingers through mine, and the other did the same. 

"I love you," a female voice said.

"I love you," A male voice said from my other side. 

I turned and stared at the female voice. I saw Jenna's face next to mine. A small, sad smile was tugging at her lips. I turned and saw Jacob staring at me from the other side. I laid on my back again.

"I love you too," I whispered.

 I squeezed my brother and sister's hands and smiled at the ceiling. The three of us laid there for a long time in a calming silence before Jacob spoke up. 

"This is my fault," he said, "All my fault. If I had just wrote to Juliet and talked to her, I could have stopped this," 

I started to tell him no, but Jenna interrupted.

"No, it's mine. I never once wrote to her. I could have helped her, but I didn't," Jenna said.

"No," I interjected, "This is my fault. I wrote with Juliet almost everyday and I didn't even notice how broken she was. I knew she sounded kind of sad and a lot of bad stuff was happening to her here, but I was too oblivious to realize that...that she would...," 

This drew another long silence over the three of us until Jacob spoke up. 

"Maybe it's no one's fault. Maybe all of her strings just broke," he said.

"Well, we're going to tie them back together," I said.

"Just like what i would do for anyone in this family," Jenna whispered.

"So you'll help me tie them," I asked.

"Every last one of those stupid, delicate strings," Jacob confirmed. 

"And I'll tighten them every single day," Jenna said.

I laid in silence for about an hour. I thought that Jacob and Jenna had gone to sleep, but when I turned my head Jacob's wide, unblinking eye's stared into mine. i turned and saw that Jenna was awake too.

"I love you,"
 

 

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