43. Sun and black
The sun is always shining, but for some people it is nonexistent. The sun could still be shining and they'd still want to crawl under the covers for hours on end with the blinds closed because the sun doesn't cause happiness and brightness can't fix all the things you've done to them. We avoid the sun because it's bright, hot, and looking at it hurts. We wear sunglasses, hats, visors, and shield our eyes because the sun is bugging us. When people hide in bed, it's because one day you were their sunshine. You brought happiness, joy, light, and everyone could see clearly. So we hide from you just like we hide from the sun cause we don't want to be reminded of what was once there. But the truth is, when we started hiding in darkness you followed us because that's what you became. When you went down the horizon for the last time as the sun and you reappeared as a black sky we couldn't let you go so we became comfortable in the darkness cause that's where you were too, we just didn't realise it when you left and didn't come back the same. Each sky is different, but it hovers over all of us, and some people love it. Ultimately it is a common theme in everyone's life, someone that hurts us, but it's your choice to anticipate the beautiful sunrise or dread the deafening sunset. It's your choice to anticipate a day of brightness, happiness, and an opportunity to walk on sunshine, or dread the darkness that brings the bad thoughts and restless "what ifs" that keep replaying in your head till you can't remember the last time you embraced the happiness of sunshine. Try to keep the reminder in your head that the sunshine and happiness isn't gone, it's just somewhere else in the world bringing someone else happiness, while you sit in the sad silence of darkness. It gets better one person at a time, just keep reminding yourself that and maybe one day when the sun comes up you'll get the feeling that maybe it's actually staying. But of course, look what you've done to me now, I prefer darkness; I prefer the comfortably numb feeling of you darkening my night right over my head. No stars are shining no matter how hard I look. How about you? Do you see stars in your stomach? Do you feel the brightness of the moon in your eyes? Or do you feel the sunshine on your cheeks, on your lips, in your hands, making happy all the wrong people.